Ed, Edd n Eddy

[Jonny is staring at a tree, confused. In Ed's house, Eddy is laughing hysterically while he watches Edd fail to blow up balloons.]
Eddy: "Call a doctor, Double D! You're killing me!" [He continues laughing as Edd tries blowing up another balloon.]
Edd: "Enlighten me, Eddy. Why are we inflating balloons at 7 o'clock in the morning?"
Eddy: "To stretch our pockets, what else? They got to be the size of sleeping bags if we're going to clean house at the Jawbreaker Factory!"
[Edd puts up a sign that says "Shhh: Lecture".]
Edd: "I hope this isn't a repeat of last year's field trip, where I just take notes while you and Ed get up to your usual skylarking."
Eddy: [knocking Edd's sign away] "Well, don't blame me. I didn't write this script."
[Edd fails to blow up another balloon, and Eddy laughs again.]

[In the living room, Sarah is dipping toast in egg yolk in front of Ed. Ed is acting like a dog, even placing his eyebrow on his butt in place of a wagging tail.]
Sarah: "Here comes the dippy egg express, big brother!"
Ed: "Choo! Choo!" [He leaps up and eats the toast off of Sarah's hand. Jimmy approaches with a steaming bus monitor tag sleeve, and pins it on Ed.]
Jimmy: "Here you go, Ed." [Sarah and Jimmy smile while giving Ed a massage.]
Sarah: "So, Ed, since you're the bus monitor and all, and you get to pick who sits where on the bus for the field trip today, and since I'm your cuddly-wuddly baby sister-"
Eddy: "Hold it!" [Eddy approaches] "We need those front seats, so we get first dibs on those jawbreakers! Right, Ed?"
Ed: "What?"
[Eddy walks away, dragging Ed behind him.]
Sarah: [angry] "So fishface thinks he's gonna get the front seats, huh?"
Jimmy: "But Sarah, how will we get around Eddy? He's such a slippery weasel." [Sarah whispers something in Jimmy's ear] "Sarah, that's so devilish… I love it!"

[Edd checks his watch. It is 7:30.]
Edd: "Gentlemen, the bus taking us to the Jawbreaker Factory is scheduled to depart at 7:45 A.M. precisely."
[Edd is now blowing up the balloons while Edd ties them up and giving them to Eddy.]
Eddy: "Alright, alright. Get off my back."
Sarah: [offscreen, scared and banging on the door rapidly] "Ed! Help me!"
[Ed rushes outside to look for Sarah. Sarah is hiding in the bushes, while Jimmy is on the roof. Jimmy holds a sidewalk block over Ed. The cement is painted a light blue.]
Ed: "Baby sister? Are you okay?! Where are you?! Big brother will save y-"
[Jimmy drops the sidewalk block on Ed's head. Sarah comes out of the bushes with dryer lint in her hair.]
Sarah: [acting injured] "Oh Ed! It just... it just..." [Sarah pretends to faint. Ed catches her.] "–fell like a lead weight from above."
Ed: "Fell?"
[Ed notices a paint can. Sarah quickly kicks it away and makes Ed look up in the sky and at the broken pieces of the sidewalk block.]
Sarah: "Fell! The sky, you idiot! It's falling!"
Ed: "The sky… is falling?!" [He covers his head with his jacket.]
Sarah: "Ed, promise me that you'll stay in the house where it's safe. GOT IT?!"
Ed: "I promise, oh brave little one. Ed inside will stay."
Edd: [suddenly behind Ed] "Um Ed, is everything all right?"
[Ed looks to the sky.]
[Ed rushes back in the house, carrying Edd.]

Eddy: "That better be 'gettin ready' noises I hear in there! Slackers."
[Eddy pops all the balloons in his pockets with a fork and examines them, using them to cover the fridge.]
Eddy: [joyfully] "I'll be able to cram like a zillion jawbreakers in here!"
[Ed comes back frightened, jumping around madly.]
Ed: "Duck! Hide! Retreat! The sky is falling! THE SKY IS FALLING, EDDY! It hit me on the head. It did."
Eddy: "You're probably just growing a brain, Lumpy."
[Edd pours the contents of two ice-cube trays into a rubber glove and puts it over Ed's bump.]
Edd: "Ed, from the size of that cranial swelling, I'd be more inclined to believe something more substantial than the sky may have fallen on your head."
Eddy: "Pockets, pockets! We're going to be late!"
Edd: [shoving a balloon into his pocket] "Ed, just as this balloon is overflowing with weightless air, so is the sky. Weightless, yes?" [Edd floats up to the ceiling thanks to the balloon.] "Curse this small stature of mine."
Eddy: "Field trip, here I come!"
Edd: [climbing down using magnets] "Wait for us, Eddy. Hurry, Ed."
[Ed continues to watch the sky nervously.]

[Outside, Jonny has gotten his head stuck in a tree's branches again.]
Jonny: "Boy, I sure hope we don't miss the field trip, Plank. [He notices Eddy and Edd walking by.] "Oh! Hey, Eddy! Can you help me and Plank?"
Eddy: "Cost you a quarter, Jonny. Ed, get him down."
[Ed moves to grab Eddy and Edd while holding onto the house.]
Eddy: "HEY! What the heck are you doing?!"
[Ed pulls Eddy and Edd inside and shoves them into a fort he made of various cushions.]
Ed: "Bad sky falling, Eddy! My doom room will protect us! We are safe." [He tosses cards towards Eddy and Edd.] "Go fish? Perhaps some tasty rations! There's enough to sustain three lives for–" [He opens the refrigerator and freezer only to find them empty.] "Go fish?" [Eddy bursts through the doom room door.]
Eddy: "You'll be playing fish with my foot if I miss that jawbreaker field trip!"
Ed: [freaking out] "You can't eat jawbreakers if the sky kills you, Eddy!" [He closes the doors on Eddy's hands.]
Eddy: "Yeowch! Get out of there, you-"
Edd: "Eddy, please!" [he notices the time is 7:43] "The only chance we have of making this scheduled bus departure is to play along with this delirium of his!" [sarcastic] "Eddy, Sarah certainly has been outside for quite sometime. Could it be that this 'scurvy sky' has found its next mark?"
[Ed bursts out of his doom room with a frying pan raised over his head, taking Edd and Eddy with him.]
Ed: "Aaahh! Ed is coming for you, little one!"
Eddy: [happy] "And we're off!"
Edd: [while grabbing Eddy's stretched out pockets] "My apologies, Eddy. But desperate times call for desperate measures! There's no time to make it by foot! Quickly, pass me that fan, please."
[Edd goes inside the garage.]

[Ed is destroying property while looking for Sarah. He tears apart a mailbox, roughly opens a sewer lid, and tosses a car on Kevin's house.]
Ed: "Sarah? Sarah! Sarah?"
[Edd and Eddy are riding in a fan powered wheelbarrow. Edd takes Ed's frying pan to lure him to the wagon, which has two frying pans and a tennis racket over them.]
Edd: "Quick, Ed! Board our tactical search-and-rescue vehicle! These sky-repelling force shields shall protect us from any plummeting cosmos composite!" [He hands Ed an empty milk carton with a wooden satellite taped to it.] "Ed, would you man the 'sister detecto-meter' and alert us to Sarah's location?"
Ed: "Batten down the poop deck! Pull up your britches! Let's sit and serve!" [He sees a down arrow on the carton.] "Oh! Oh! It says Sarah is thataway, buckos!"

[Sarah and Jimmy get on the bus and take the front seats. Jonny gets on the bus with the piece of the tree stuck to his head.]
Jonny: "Wouldn't you know it, Plank… we get the bumpity-bump back seats! Woohoo!"
[The bus leaves as the Eds approach it.]
Eddy: "Hey! They didn't even wait for us!" [shouting at the driver] "Hold up!" [He whistles, then blows a horn. The bus doesn't stop.]
Sarah: [teasing them from the window] "I'll be sure to save you some jawbreakers…not!"
Ed: "There she is, guys! Double D, do something!"
[Edd increases the fan's speed, and they catch up to the bus. Eddy grabs on to the bus' emergency door.]
Eddy: "Yeehaw!"

[Sarah and Jimmy are relaxing on the bus.]
Sarah: "My teeth are aching already, Jimmy!"
Jimmy: "I love jawbreakers, Sarah!"
[Eddy opens up the back door of the bus and crawls up it as his body extends. He passes Jonny.]
Jonny: "Beat ya, Eddy."
Eddy: "Idiot." [He makes his way to Sarah and Jimmy.] "Aha!"
[Jimmy faints. Sarah hangs on to her seat.]
Sarah: "This seat's mine!"
Eddy: "Is that so? Oh, Mr. Bus Monitor!"
[Ed walks over to Eddy and places a frying pan over Sarah's head and a tennis racket over Jimmy's.]
Ed: "Ed is here, have no fear, little ones! Here, protect yoursleves under these force shields and-"
[Eddy's body snaps back. He grabs Ed, and Ed comes with him. They get pulled back to Edd's vehicle and crash into the fan. The Eds are stranded in the middle of the road.]
Edd: "Ed! Status report!"
Ed: "It's stuck, Double D!" [He gets it unstuck.] "Got it!"
[The fan spins at incredible speed. The Eds, propelled by it, fly into the air. The wheels on the wheelbarrow break, and sparks fly on the road. They travel towards the bus at lightning speed.]
Edd: "Too fast! Too fast! We're going to collide!"
[They actually fly over the bus when it goes down a slope. Eddy grabs the window by Sarah and Jimmy's seats. He pries it open and crawls partway inside.]
Sarah: "Get him, Jimmy!"
Eddy: "Why you little!"
[Eddy fights with Sarah and Jimmy over possession of the seats. They see the Jawbreaker Factory coming over a rise.]
Eddy: "Suckers!"
[Eddy grabs the seats, and they rip out of the bus. The Eds fly skyward.]
[The Eds crash into the sky. The sky, impossibly, starts to crack.]
Edd: "We've hit the sky?!" [He pauses.] "This is impossible!"
[A piece of the sky falls.]
Eddy: "Ed was right! The sky is falling!"
Ed: [smug] "Thank you very much."
Eddy: "So now what?"
Edd: "I'm afraid we may just…find out, Eddy."
[The sky continues to crack. The Eds' piece cracks and breaks off, revealing static behind the sky. The Eds fall to earth.]

[Later, the sky is still broken. Ed is sweeping up the pieces, Eddy is annoyed and bored, and Edd is busily studying one of the pieces of sky.]
Edd: [excited] "Positively, unequivocally fascinating!"
Ed: [scared] "Um, may I have a piece of tape, sir, please?" [quickly moves in a defensive pose for protection] "I'm sorry!"
[Eddy boredly gives Ed a piece of tape.]
Eddy: "This is so typical! A jawbreaker factory field trip, and I missed it because Ed had to go and break the stupid sky!"
[Jimmy returns from the field trip. He is sick from eating too many jawbreakers. His toys are stuffed with the gigantic candies.]
Jimmy: "I think I ate too many jawbreakers…Sarah!"
[Sarah returns too. She is now really fat from stuffing herself with too many jawbreakers. Ed takes a look at her.]
Ed: "Sarah's face is being devoured by the sky!"
Edd: "One anomaly at a time, please, thank you."
[Sarah rolls over Ed, as Eddy approaches a sickly Jimmy.]
Ed: "Release my sister, nemesis of blue yonder!"
Eddy: "Hey squirt, how about sharing some of those jawbreakers with Uncle Eddy?"
Jimmy: "Sarah, I don't feel so good."
[Sarah rolls over Jimmy as well, sending him and Ed flying.]
Eddy: "Hey-"
[He notices Sarah's stomach is grumbling.]
Edd: "Oh my lord!"
[Sarah looks like she's about to throw up.]
Edd: "Eddy, stand clear! Eddy!"
Eddy: [afraid] "You wouldn't dare."
[The screen turns a disgusting yellow-green.]

Season 5 Scripts
"Mission Ed-Possible" • "Every Which Way But Ed" • "Boom Boom Out Goes the Ed" • "Cleanliness Is Next to Edness" • "Out with the Old, In with the Ed" • "I Am Curious Ed" • "No Speak Da Ed" • "Cool Hand Ed" • "Too Smart for His Own Ed" • "Who's Minding the Ed?" • "Pick an Ed" • "Truth or Ed" • "This Won't Hurt an Ed" • "Tinker Ed" • "The Good, The Bad and The Ed" • "Tight End Ed" • "'Tween a Rock and an Ed Place" • "All Eds Are Off" • "Smile for the Ed" • "Run Ed Run" • "A Town Called Ed" • "A Fistful of Ed"
Seasons: Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4Season 5Season 6Specials
See also: Episode Guide