Ed, Edd n Eddy

[Eddy is running, his tongue hanging out of his mouth. He stops and goes into a slide. He slides straight into Ed's window and lands on his feet.]
Eddy: "Ed!"
Ed: "Hi, Eddy. What a surprise. Could you pass me the glue?"
Eddy: "Sure, Ed." [Ed giggles.]
[Eddy walks over to get the glue bottle. He puts his hand around it and then notices there is a wire. The wire leads around a few pipes to a engine block above his head.]
Eddy: [holding the engine block above Ed's head] "Here's your glue, Ed." [He drops the block on him.]
Ed: "Ouch." [When he rises, he has two lumps on his head and a rope tied to his back.]
Eddy: [climbing out Ed's window] "Nice try, Ed. Let's get Double D."
Ed: "Okay, Eddy."
[Ed walks forward, pulling the rope taut. When it stretches to its full length, something tips, spilling white goop all over him. Ed, blinded, steps back onto a dumbell and rolls backwards, into a wall.]
Eddy: [laughing, as Ed now has a table stuck to him] "C'mon, Ed, quit fooling around. Let's go." [He holds out a hand to help him up.] "Alley-oop." [He pulls Ed.]
Ed: "The window's–" [Eddy pulls him.] "–too small, Eddy." [Eddy pulls again, and keeps straining.]
Eddy: "Gee, Ed, you need to work out."
[He finally pulls Ed out. He comes out as a strange statue, with him (in his underwear) at the peak, glued to the table. Eddy laughs.]
Ed: "I'm ready. Can we go now?"

[Ed and Eddy rush to Edd's house. Eddy climbs up a tree outside an upper story window and swings inside. Ed tries to copy him, but hits the wall instead and plummets to the ground. In his room, Edd is mixing chemicals. Eddy comes up behind his chair.]
Eddy: "Whatcha doin', Double D?"
Edd: "Did you wipe your feet?"
[The phone rings.]
Eddy: "Phone."
Edd: "Uh, could you please answer that?"
Eddy: "Yeah, sure." [grumpily] "What am I, everybody's errand boy?" [Edd chuckles to himself.]
[Eddy reaches the phone. As he reaches it, he sees something on it. The something is three sticky notes.]
Eddy: "Pick me up, huh?"

[Edd is giggling in the foreground while Eddy talks in the background.]
Eddy: "Hello. Yeah? Oh, really? Double D? Sure, hang on."
[Edd's hand inadvertently tilts, and he spills a test tube full of one solution into a beaker. A huge explosion results, sending him across the room, through his bed and into the wall.]
Eddy: [walking in] "Oh, Double D! Some girl on the phone wants to talk to you."
Edd: "M-m-me?" [He dusts himself off.] "How do I look, Eddy?"
Eddy: [placing roller skates in the hall] "It's a phone call, Romeo."
Edd: "Thank you, Ed–" [he steps on the skates] "–d-d-D-DY! WHOAA! WAAAH!" [He hits a ramp made of books.] "Gulah." [Edd falls into a bucket of water on a spring placed in his path.] "D'OH!" [The resulting rebound catapults him up and into a bag of flour on a pedastal on a spring.] "WHOA!" [Said spring sends him flying off.] "Huh? YAAAHH!" [Eddy waits at the other end of the hall, chewing some gum. He blows a giant bubble which Edd flies into.] "AAAAH!" [This does nothing to slow Edd, and he flies out the window.] "WHOAA!" [Edd crashes into some bushes.] "Puleah!"

[Eddy comes up to them, laughing.]
Eddy: [putting a finger under Ed's nose] "You guys are so easy!" [He twangs Ed's nose, and Ed falls back onto a whoopie cushion.]
Ed: "Excuse me."
Eddy: [pulling out the whoopie cushion, he blows it in Ed's face] "Keep trying, guys." [He shakes hands with Edd. Apparently he has a joy buzzer on as well.] "Maybe one day you'll get lucky!" [congratulating himself] "I am truly the king of ALL the PRANKSTERS! I'll bet that before sundown, I can prank this entire cul-de-sac! Are you with me?"
Edd: "Like we have a choice?"

[Rolf is slopping the hogs while the Eds hide behind some bushes.]
Rolf: "Ya-ha! Hello. Here's some good eats for you!" [He goes into his shed.]
Eddy: "Our first pigeon."
Ed: "A pigeon? No, that is Rolf."
Eddy: "Shut up, Ed."
[A sudden noise comes from the shed, and Rolf comes flying out in a barrel, with a bucket on his head. He lands facedown in mud.]
Eddy: "Hey Rolf. What's up?"
Edd: "Are you all right, Rolf?"
Rolf: [raising his head] "Who's gotten Rolf's polyester perma-press all filthy?" [The Eds share looks of confusion.]
Ed: "Rolf's got a card on his head."
[Eddy plucks the card from Rolf's head. It is a Joker with the word "Joker" crossed out and Prank Master written in bold over most of the card.]
Edd: "Prank Master?"
Rolf: "Yes, I think so. A mysterious jokester who's been plaguing our cul-de-sac."
Eddy: [getting paranoid] "Someone's crowding me."

[The Eds are loping down the street.]
Eddy: "This stinks! This Prank Master's an amateur! I am the KING of PRANKS!"
[A sudden noise from a tree makes them look up. Jonny pops out, wearing a diaper.]
Jonny: "Ah! Ow! Ee! Oh! Ah!"
Eddy: [laughing with his compadres] "Jonny! You'll get a rash in that!"
[Plank flies out, a card nailed to his face. The Eds abruptly stop laughing.]
Eddy: "Plank! Stand back, boys!"
[Ed plucks the card from Plank's face. It is the Prank Master's signature. The boys gasp.]
The Eds: "The Prank Master!"
Edd: "He's such a horrible printer!"
Ed: "Here! You hold it, Double D!"
Edd: "I have no idea where it's been!"
Eddy: [trying to disguise his fear] "Relax, guys. Anybody can fool Jonny 2x4." [He looks back at Jonny.] "AAH! JONNY!" [Jonny has mysteriously disappeared.]
Edd: [frightened] "It seems the Prank Master has the upper hand, Eddy."
Eddy: "Look, no Prank Master's gonna prank us, okay?" [after a pause] "Oh, uh, is that the tea kettle boiling?" [He takes off, and his friends follow.]

[The Eds are running for the hills. They come to a street corner where Sarah is heading in the other direction. Sarah steps on a square which collapses and drops her into the sewers.]
Sarah: "Mommy!"
[The Eds are running down the lane. Something falls in front of them.]
The Eds: "AAAAH!" [The something is revealed to be a giant flyswatter; it has just swatted Kevin.] "Not cool! Not cool!"
[The Eds are running down another street. Jimmy opens a gift, revealing a giant inflatable doll.]
Jimmy: "AAH!"
[The Eds head the other way, and see Jonny get spring-shot into the air. Going another direction, a bear trap closes on Kevin's tushy.]
Kevin: "Yowch!" [As with all the other pranks, a Prank Master card is found at the scene of the crime.]
[The Eds run to the playground and dive into the sandbox. Cards rain down along the edges, surrounding the Eds.]
Edd: "The Prank Master has gotten everyone. We're next!"
[The Eds lie in the sandbox, quivering with fear.]

[Eddy peeks out of his house, wearing a makeshift helmet.]
Eddy: "C'mon."
[He exits. As he does, we see that he is carrying a shield and a golf club.]
Ed: [peeking out the door with Edd] "Uh, we don't–"
Edd: "–want to."
Eddy: [covering their mouths] "Ssh." [He pulls them out. They stand in a circle, facing outward.] "Keep your eyes peeled."
[The Eds shift around, moving from one point to the next.]
Ed: "I am dizzy."
[The Eds move until Ed sees something.]
Ed: "Look!"
Eddy: "W-w-w-what?"
[Ed points at a golden jawbreaker, gleaming in the sun.]
Ed: "Jawbreaker. Finders keepers!" [He runs to get it. Edd and Eddy grab his coattail and hold him back.]
Edd and Eddy: "Ed, no!"
Eddy: [holding Ed back] "It's a trap!"
Edd: "I agree. It could be bait for an insidious prank."
[Eddy creeps up to it and taps it with his golf club. He then pokes it, and it rolls forward a few paces.]
Eddy: "See anything?"
Ed: "Poke it again."
[Eddy pokes it again. This time, it rolls all the way to the corner.]
Ed: "I say eat it!"
Eddy: "That's exactly what he wants us to do!"
Edd: "Perhaps not."
Eddy: "Ssh. Look." [Sarah and Jimmy approach it.]
Sarah: "Look, Jimmy, a jawbreaker! Looks yummy."
Jimmy: [He licks it a few times and then puts it in his mouth.] "Fuschia!"
Sarah: [walking off with Jimmy] "Let's see if there's more."
Eddy: [irritated] "You see? It was just a jawbreaker!"
Ed: "You said it was a trap."
Edd: "That's correct, Eddy."
Eddy: "Uh-uh-look out. Behind you!"
Edd: [turning around] "What is it?" [Eddy ties his hat to his underwear.] "AAH! Hello!"
[Eddy buckles over laughing. Ed knocks Eddy's helmet off and pulls Eddy's underwear over his head.]
Ed: "Ride em cowboy!"
Edd and Eddy: [wedgieing Ed] "Liftoff!"
Ed: "Whoa-ho-ho!" [They hear the kids laughing.]
Eddy: "What are you laughing at?"
Kevin: "You twerps fell for it."
Eddy: "Fell for what? The Prank Master never pranked us."
Rolf: [as the other kids laugh] "We pranked you, Ed-boys, there is no Prank Master."
Sarah: [on the corner with Jimmy] "Yeah. We pretended to be pranked."
Jimmy: "Gotcha."
[The kids all walk off.]
Eddy: "You're messing with the king here!" [to his friends] "Let's go."
[The Eds exit, still wedgied.]

[Edd is looking through binoculars at the kids. He and the other two Eds are in a garage.]
Edd: "The kids are playing in the cul-de-sac, Eddy."
Eddy: "This is so perfect." [He is standing beside a machine. He grabs a jar of fish heads and a bottle of bean juice.] "They think they're so smart. Ha! What saps." [He pours a test tube's contents into a funnel on the machine. They travel through a hose into what seems like a giant balloon.]
Ed: "Whoa, way big."
Eddy: "Gentlemen, the El Mongo Stink Bomb."
[The bomb is indeed gigantic. It is 3/4 filled with a green liquid, and floating above the ground, supported by 4 balloons.]
Eddy: "My brother showed me how to make it. Before he went away." [grabbing Ed] "Isn't it beautiful?"
Edd: "The odor should be quite impressive."
Eddy: "Just one more ingredient." [Ed begins to chuckle.] "And it'll be finished!" [Eddy is holding Ed's left leg. He pulls off Ed's shoe and then takes his sock.] "Sweet!" [He heaves the sock onto a pole Edd is holding.]
Edd: "Guh."
Eddy: "Easy now."
Edd: "Smelly, smelly, smelly." [The pole is maneuvered over the bomb and dropped in. It sinks nearly to the bottom before turning to threads.]
Eddy: "Double D, activate the sequence! Open the door, Ed!" [He laughs maniacally.]
Edd: "Slowly." [He pulls a lever. The hose disconnects, and a propeller at the rear starts.] "Eureka!"
Eddy: [cutting a rope] "Let's get stinky."
[The bomb moves forward steadily, leaving the garage.]
Ed: "Bye bye, sock."
[Everything is going well until the bomb catches on the edges of the garage door. It stays there and refuses to budge.]
Edd: "Oh, dear. We haven't got much time."
[The Eds all try to push it out. Ed gets a running start and is bounced off of the bomb before any of his force can be transmitted.]
Eddy: "Push this stupid stink bomb!"
[Edd nervously panics that the stink bomb wouldn't fit for the garage door.]
Eddy: "Uh-oh!"
[The bomb explodes. A wave of stink rushes out over the cul-de-sac.]
Edd: [howling] "I CAN'T BREATHE!"
[The kids all sniff the air. Shortly after, they head inside screaming. The Eds, meanwhile, stumble around just outside the garage, dazed and confused.]
Ed: "Something smells good!"
Edd: [pinching his nose shut] "It is said that scent is a gateway to one's true inner essence."
Eddy: "Yes! I stink, therefore I am!"
[Eddy faints, and Ed sniffs the air happily.]

Season 1 Scripts
"The Ed-Touchables" • "Nagged to Ed" • "Pop Goes the Ed" • "Over Your Ed" • "Sir Ed-a-Lot" • "A Pinch to Grow an Ed" • "Dawn of the Eds" • "Virt-Ed-Go" • "Read All About Ed" • "Quick Shot Ed" • "An Ed Too Many" • "Ed-n-Seek" • "Look Into My Eds" • "Tag Yer Ed" • "Fool on the Ed" • "A Boy and His Ed" • "It's Way Ed" • "Laugh Ed Laugh" • "A Glass of Warm Ed" • "Flea-Bitten Ed" • "Who, What, Where, Ed" • "Keeping up with the Eds" • "Eds-Aggerate" • "Oath to an Ed" • "Button Yer Ed" • "Avast Ye Eds"
Seasons: Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4Season 5Season 6Specials
See also: Episode Guide