Ed, Edd n Eddy

[Eddy peeks out of a couch cushion. With one hand, he pulls out a giant dustball. He blows it away.]
Eddy: "Find anything, Ed?"
Ed: [under a chair cushion chewing on something] "Three potato chips, and my old button."
Eddy: [incredulous] "No loot? I'm going back in."
Ed: "Hey c'mon, Double D! Couch diving is lots of fun." [He chuckles as he scuttles back into the chair like a crab.]
Edd: "No no, Ed. You can get nasty scratches from upholstery tacks." [He shines his flashlight under the couch.]
Ed: "Oh, wow! Way cool!"
Edd: "Dust mites?"
Eddy: [popping his head out of the couch] "Cash?"
Ed: "No, my lost issue of Slug-U-La magazine!"
Eddy: "Tell me Ed, what's it like having buttered toast for a brain?" [Ed jumps on the couch, shoving Eddy back in. Edd sits beside him.] "Ed!"
[The door opens and Jonny walks in.]
Jonny: "What's that, Plank?"
[Jonny goes back and closes the door. He then jumps into a cabinet and hides. The Eds watch surreptitiously. Jonny then goes over to a bookcase. He puts Plank near the top. Plank scans it.]
Jonny: "See anything, Plank?"
Jonny: "Try where?" [Jonny holds Plank out like a dowsing rod. Plank settles on a vase. Jonny picks up the vase and shakes it. Sarah pops out.] "Plank found you!"
[Jonny runs off. Sarah follows, grumpily. The Eds look at each other, and then head outside to see what's going on.]

[Once the Eds arrive, Nazz runs by. Jimmy runs in the other direction.]
Jimmy: "You can't catch me!"
Eddy: "Hey, Peewee!"
[Kevin hits them with his bike. They all fly into the air. Eddy is the last to come down, and he lands on a running Rolf's back. He positions himself into Rolf's eyesight.]
Rolf: "Hello, Eddy!"
Eddy: "What's happening, Rolf?" [Rolf stops, launching Eddy forward. He looks around, smiles and plunges his head into the dirt like an ostrich.] "What's going on?"
Rolf: "I cannot hear you, I am invisible. Goodbye, I have gone to the market."
[Kevin rides by.]
Eddy: "Hey, Kevin." [He has gotten on Kevin's bike.]
Kevin: "Get off, dork."
Eddy: "I know what you're doing. You can't fool me. I'm too smart."
[Kevin rides up the side of a tree and into a hollow hole in the wood, causing Eddy to fall onto the ground.]
Ed: "Hey, look!"
Eddy: "What?"
[Jonny has wedged himself into a missing fencepost's space. He puts Plank up to his face and turns the board around.]
Eddy: "I don't get it. What gives?"
Sarah: "Ready or not, here I come!"
Eddy: "Oh yeah! Hide-n-seek!"

[Sarah is walking down the street, searching for the kids.]
Eddy: [popping out of a hydrant] "Betcha never thought of looking here!"
Sarah: "Yuck! Eddy!" [She stuffs the hydrant's lid down.]
Ed: [crawling up to her] "Can we play, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Hmm. NO!"
[Sarah walks by him, but Ed pops out of a bush in front of her.]
Sarah: "NO!"
Ed: "Please let us play, Sarah."
Sarah: "Big brother, we are in the MIDDLE of a GAME, come back when it's OVER!"
Eddy: [coming up in front of her] "Let us play and I'll give you Jonny 2x4."
Ed: "Hey, Sarah!" [He has collected all the kids.] "Is the game over now?"
Eddy: "Looks like it, Ed."
Sarah: "Uumph."
[The kids go into a huddled discussion about whether to let the Eds in on the game.]
Jimmy: "All right, you can play."
The Eds: "YEAH!"
Kevin: "But, you have to be it." [The Eds freeze in mid-air in surprise.]
Eddy: "Piece of cake."

[The Eds are counting. They are huddled around a tree with a sign reading "Home" nailed to it. The kids break off.]
Ed: "One, two, got some glue...Three, four, at the store...Five, six, it really stinks..."
Eddy: "Seventy-four, seventy-five, one hundred. Ready or not, here we come! I know exactly where to look."
[The Eds start to run off. The noise of pattering feet comes from behind Eddy.]
The Kids: "Home free!" [Eddy turns around to find them all touching the tree.]
Sarah: "Guess you're it again!" [The kids run off laughing.]
Eddy: "We've got to do something about this home free thing!"

[The tree, along with Edd and Eddy, is being carted along in a wagon pulled by Ed.]
Eddy: "This is taking way too long! I know what'll get 'em out." [imitating a woman's voice] "Help me! Help! Somebody stole my purse! Oh, somebody help!"
[Nobody comes to the rescue.]
Ed: [pointing to the tree] "Hey Plank, your mom is calling!" [Plank pops out of a bush.]
Eddy: "They must be cheating."
Ed: "Let's feed them."
Edd: "I've got it!"

[Ed and Eddy are sitting in the wagon while Edd tinkers in the garage.]
Edd: "All done." [He holds out some goggles.] "They're body-heat seeking goggles."
Ed: "Cool."
Eddy: [grabbing them] "Let me see those."
Ed: "My turn, Eddy, my turn!"
Eddy: "They don't work, Double D."
Ed: "Oh, let me see, let me see!"
Edd: "Allow me." [He flips a switch. The goggles take a moment to work, but when they do Ed's face appears.]
Eddy: "AAH! Here, Ed." [He jams the goggles on Ed's face.]
Ed: "Double D, this is how the monster in The Brainless Cyclops saw his victims!" [He starts imitating the monster and attacks Edd.]
Eddy: "Quit laying around! We've got a game to win!"

[Edd and Eddy are being pulled by Ed, who is wearing the goggles.]
Eddy: "Look, Ed's a brainless cyclops." [Ed scans the area. He brings them up to a shed.]
Ed: "Hey!" [He points inside. Eddy opens the doors to reveal Sarah.]
Eddy: "Gotcha!"
Sarah: "Darn you, Eddy!"
Eddy: "Good boy, Ed!" [He feeds Ed a dog treat.]
Ed: [to Sarah] "I am brainless!"
Sarah: "You will be when I'm through with you!"
Eddy: "See ya, sucker!"

[Ed proceeds to sniff out hiding places all over the cul-de-sac. He finds Jonny and Plank in some bushes, Kevin in some gutters, and Rolf hiding in a lawn mower eating grass.]
The Eds: "Yeah! We're winning! We're winning!"
Ed: "Eddy, we forgot Jimmy!"
Eddy: "Big deal. We've got home base!" [He points his thumb at an empty space.]
Ed: "We do?"
Eddy: "Hey! Where's home base?" [Edd gasps. Home base is on the other side of the cul-de-sac.]
Ed: "Oh no!"
The Eds: "AAH!"
[Jimmy darts out from behind a house.]
The Eds: "AAH!"
Eddy: "Sic em, Ed!" [Ed chases Jimmy like a dog.]
Ed: "Arf!"
The Kids: "Go, Jimmy, go!"
Jimmy: "Little feet, do your stuff!"
Ed: "Aroogah!" [The kids continue to shout encouragement.]
[Jimmy dives for home base. Just before he touches the tree, Ed lands on him, stopping Jimmy short.]
Edd and Eddy: "We can hide! We can hide!"
Ed: "Jimmy's it! Jimmy's it!"
Eddy: "You'll never find us! Start counting and don't peek."
[The Eds rush off laughing.]

[Eddy exits his house, carrying an enormous armload of food.]
Jimmy: [counting] "Eighty-one, eighty-two, eighty-three–"
Eddy: [running behind him] "–Twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six–"
Jimmy: "–Twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine."
[Eddy comes to a bush. He knocks on it, and it makes a metallic clanging noise. He looks both directions then a hatch opens, and a pair of eyes peer out.]
Ed: "Ooh! Yum! Food and–" [Eddy jams the food in. He jumps in after it and pulls the hatch shut.]

Eddy: [with a donut and a soda] "Ha! This is the best hiding spot!" [Ed takes Eddy's donut] "Huh?"
Ed: [Eddy groans while Ed eats chips] "We could stay here forever!"
Edd: [with a notepad and pencil] "At the rate of your consumption, it may only be minutes."
Ed: "Pop?"
Edd: "Yes, please." [Ed opens the shaken-up can into Edd's face.]
Eddy: "Good one, Ed!" [They laugh. Edd picks up another can and shakes it. He opens it into Eddy's face and laughs.] "Oh, a smart guy."
Edd: "Only when you're around, Eddy." [They both shake sodas.]
Ed: "Pass the nuts." [The sodas this time go into Ed's face. When the fizz clears, Ed is holding three cans of soda.]
Eddy: "Okay, big guy."
Edd: "Oh, my."
Edd and Eddy: [as Ed shakes the cans] "NO, ED!"
[The bunker explodes, shooting straight up. After a few seconds, it comes down again. It is followed by a rain of snacks and treats. The Eds stand up, covered in food debris.]
Jimmy: "Ready or not, here I come!"
Ed: [pressing his face to Eddy's] "Jimmy's coming!"
Edd: [pressing his face to Eddy's other cheek] "We need to hide."
Eddy: "You're touching my face!" [He looks for somewhere to hide.] "There!" [He opens the lid to a garbage container.] "Pee-yew!" [The Kankers pop out.] "I didn't know you were playing!"
Lee: "Who's playing?" [The sisters make kissy faces, and Eddy runs away. The lid slams down on their lips.]

[Eddy is still looking for a hiding place.]
Jimmy: "You can run, but you can't hide!"
Ed: "Psst!" [Eddy looks for him.] "Psst!" [Eddy spots him cowering, with Edd, behind his legs.] "Jimmy's getting closer!"
Eddy: "Uh–in there!" [He zooms off.]

[Jimmy is looking for people. He ruffles a bush, giggling.]
Jimmy: "Come out, come out!" [He looks in a grove of trees.] "I see you!"
[The Eds zoom by behind him.]

[Jimmy is searching Eddy's living room. He passes by Eddy, who is hiding in a painting above him. Jimmy then looks in a cabinet under an aquarium. Finding nothing, he moves on. We are then permitted to see that Edd was actually in the aquarium. He passes a TV, on which something called the "Glippo Show" is playing. A few seconds after he walks past, Ed jumps out of a box. A title card reading "Ha ha ha" shows on the screen. Jimmy then looks in a closet.]
Jimmy: "Boo! Ooh, nice shoes." [He takes a closer look at the shoes.]

[The Eds burst out of the house, running full speed.]
The Eds: "Tree! Tree! Tree!"
[Eddy dives for the tree (which is still in the wagon) and makes it.]
Eddy: "Home free!" [Edd jumps on as well, and then Ed adds his weight. This makes the wagon start rolling down the hill.]
The Eds: "HOOOOMMMEEE FRREEEEEE!" [Several crashes are heard.]
[There are a bunch of trees, lying in a pile. The "Home" tree is on top. Ed lifts it, and Edd and Eddy struggle to stand.]
Ed: "Home free!" [He ducks, dropping the tree. The tree hammers Edd and Eddy back down.]
Ed: [lifting the tree again] "We win." [He drops the tree, crushing his friends once more.]
Ed: [lifting it one final time] "You're it!"
[Ed drops the tree again. It hammers his friends, and the screen goes black.]
Ed: "Ouch."

Season 1 Scripts
"The Ed-Touchables" • "Nagged to Ed" • "Pop Goes the Ed" • "Over Your Ed" • "Sir Ed-a-Lot" • "A Pinch to Grow an Ed" • "Dawn of the Eds" • "Virt-Ed-Go" • "Read All About Ed" • "Quick Shot Ed" • "An Ed Too Many" • "Ed-n-Seek" • "Look Into My Eds" • "Tag Yer Ed" • "Fool on the Ed" • "A Boy and His Ed" • "It's Way Ed" • "Laugh Ed Laugh" • "A Glass of Warm Ed" • "Flea-Bitten Ed" • "Who, What, Where, Ed" • "Keeping up with the Eds" • "Eds-Aggerate" • "Oath to an Ed" • "Button Yer Ed" • "Avast Ye Eds"
Seasons: Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4Season 5Season 6Specials
See also: Episode Guide