Ed, Edd n Eddy

[Snowflakes fall from the sky. Jonny draws on Plank with a crayon, and then holds him up. Plank now has a tongue sticking out of his mouth. Jonny sticks his tongue out too and catches snowflakes.]
Jonny: "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."
[The title is dropped from the sky: Ed, Edd n Eddy's Jingle Jingle Jangle. The camera then moves on to a house. A sign in the yard reads "Written by" and on the house are the names Jono Howard, Mike Kubat, and Danny Antonucci, written in lights. The house by it has signs on it's roof and lawn. Taken together, they read "Storyboard by Big Jim Miller, Scott Diggs Underwood, and Leah Waldron." A streetlight shines down on another inscription: Music by Patric Caird. In the middle of the cul-de-sac, something has been written in the snow; "Directed by Danny Antonucci." Further down the street, a car backs out of a driveway and leaves the cul-de-sac.]

[Inside the house, Eddy is madly searching for something. He looks all through the living room and under his tree. Not finding anything, he tries the closet. When there is nothing there, he goes up to the attic, shining his flashlight everywhere.]
Eddy: "Aw come on, give me a break." [He opens a trunk filled with mementos of his time as a baby.] "Parents. Who invented em?"
[Eddy turns to go and steps on a loose board. He steps on it again, and it creaks.]
Eddy: "Ah-ha!" [He pulls up a section of planking, revealing Christmas presents hidden underneath.] "The Christmas stash!"
[Eddy places the light in a pile of junk. He places it at an angle so that it shines on the presents. Picking one up, he carefully moves it out of the ribbon. He pulls the tape off gently, taking care not to disturb it. Eddy then teases the box out of the paper, making sure to keep the paper in its right form. He opens the box and takes out a sweater vest. Seeing it, he blows a raspberry and reaches for another box. He tears the paper off and looks inside. It is another piece of formalwear.]
Eddy: "A dickie? They still make these?"
[He grabs another one and tears the package apart. Inside? Socks with reindeer antlers.]
Eddy: "Say it ain't so!" [He grabs another one, revealing pajamas. He begins foaming at the mouth in anger.] "I HATE GETTING CLOTHES FOR CHRISTMAS!"
[He knocks the flashlight away. It rolls across the floor and comes to a stop in front of a mirror. The light reflects off the mirror and points into a sky, aimed at a bright star over the trailer park.]
Lee: "You're next, Marie."
[The Kankers are in their trailer, opening Christmas crackers.]
Marie: "Christmas crackers are a hoot!"
May: "Hurry up! Maybe you'll get a paper crown!"
Marie: "Of course I'll get a paper crown. They all come with a paper crown, stupid."
[Marie pulls on the ends, and the cracker falls to the floor.]
May: "It's a dud, Marie!"
Lee: "Just like you, huh May?"
[The cracker explodes.]
Marie: [points at May's seemingly missing head] "Look, Lee, May got a makeover!" [She picks up the crown, and May pops her head out.]
May: "And you were worried you wouldn't get a crown." [Marie puts it on, and May points out the window at the star.] "Do you see what I see? Something twinkling in the sky!"
Lee: [looking out] "Where?" [Marie pushes her aside.]
Marie: "She said the sky, stupid."
Lee: [pushing them away] "Oh yeah, I see it! Bundle up, girls, let's see what the hubbub's all about!"
Marie: "Yeah, May."
May: "Yeah, Marie."

[The star shines down brightly as the crowned Kankers follow it through the snow.]

[Ed's house is decorated and ready for Santa. Suddenly, the chimney starts cutting its way through the house. Sarah wakes up and watches it move through her room. In the basement, Ed kicks his door open and moves the chimney into his room.]
Ed: "Not too shabby." [He smiles and looks up the chimney.] "Chimney ready and waiting!"
[A timer rings. Ed rushes into his closet and brings out a tray of some brown cakes and a carton of milk.]
Ed: [setting them on his chair] "And Santa's favorite–gravy cakes and milk! Yummy yum yum." [He draws a sign and places it on the chair.] "All nice and cozy for Santa to rest his belly."
[The sign reads "Santa sit heer."]
Ed: [dancing] "I'm such a good boy!" [singing] "Check your list and check it twice, for Santa Claus is co-" [He trips and sees Sarah at the door.] "Sarah! Root-e-toot-toot and rum-a-tum-tum, Santa–"
Sarah: "Why'd you take the chimney, fathead!?!"
Ed: "It is Christmas, Sarah! And I, Ed the elf, awaits his jolliness!"
Sarah: "You just make sure Santa sees my stocking, or I'll stuff you in the turkey. Got it?"
Ed: "Turkeys are practically chickens. Fun."
Sarah: [leaving] "'Ed the elf'... Nimrod."
Ed: "And a figgy pudding to you, baby sister!"
[Ed finishes nailing the stocking up (though most of them block the opening) and looks at the chimney gladly. Suddenly, he hears a knocking.]
Ed: "Santa!" [He looks up the chimney. The knocking comes again.] "Santa?"
[Ed looks around the room. A gloved hand is knocking on his window.]
Ed: "Santa!" [He opens the window and looks out on Edd.]
Edd: "A very merry Christmas to you, Ed. I just thought I'd visit you before dinner, and give you a–"
Ed: [grabbing Edd] "I'll be home for Christmas, Double D!" [He pulls his friend inside.] "For Santa Claus is coming!"
Edd: [strained] "Let me be the first to say how happy I am for you, Ed, but you're stretching my mittens."
[Edd breaks free of the window and hits the wall. He flies off of it, leaving his snow clothes behind. The clothes drift down around Ed's chair.]
Ed: [panics] "Santa's comfy zone!" [He clears the clothes away from it.] "Ed the elf has fixed it!"
Edd: "As I was saying, I brought you what once was a poinsettia, Ed." [He pulls out a rumpled plant.]
Ed: "Aww...hug?" [He advances towards Edd, arms outstretched.]
Edd's thoughts: "Oh dear. Ignore his odor, Eddward. Smile. Let the spirit of the season take–" [Ed grabs him.]
Edd: "ED!"
Ed: "I feel all fuzzy inside, Double D!"
Edd: "Tis the season, Ed."
Ed: "Tis?"
Edd: "The warmth, Ed, that fuzzy feeling, is the spirit of the holiday."
Ed: "Spirit?"
Edd: "From here, Ed." [He places his hand on Ed's chest.]
Ed: "My udder?"
Edd: [happily] "You certainly know how to tax one's patience, Ed."
[Eddy shouts angry gibberish. He then kicks the window open and enters.]
Ed: [greeting him joyfully] "Eddy! Santa's coming to my house!"
Eddy: [angry] "Yeah, right! And I'm a little leprechaun looking for his pot of gold!" [He plops down in Ed's chair.] "I hate Christmas."
Edd: [trying to mollify him] "Oh, come now, Eddy. Surely you jest."
[Ed, worried again, begins to pant. He runs off.]
Edd: "Eddy?"
Eddy: "You know what? I found my parents' Christmas stash. And ALL of my presents bite, Double D!"
Edd: [freaking out] "YOU DID WHAT??!! Oh-ho-ho, Eddy, how could you have been so selfish?! All your parents' trust, shattered?!!! Shame on you!"
Ed: [rushing in with a wooden paddle] "Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me." [He uses the paddle to move Eddy off the chair.]
Eddy: "Hey, you know it, and I know it. Christmas is the one time of year when parents are supposed to buy you everything you want. And all I got was lame ol' clothes." [Ed drops him on the floor]
Edd: "Hold it right there, mister. The true meaning of Christmas isn't about materialistic needs. Or selfish wants! Rather, it comes from here." [He puts his hand on Eddy's chest.]
Eddy: "That's my udder you're touching."
Ed: [resetting the chair] "Silly Eddy, parents don't bring presents. SANTA DOES! Oh boy oh boy oh boy, I am such a lucky elf!"
Eddy: "It's like a nightmare before Christmas, Double D!"
Ed: "Hello." [He picks up a tree light.]
Eddy: "I've never seen so many socks, and the underwear? Kids shouldn't have to see that kind of stuff!"
[Ed slips the light into Eddy's pocket.]
Edd: "Well, Eddy, I for one think you just need to adopt a better attitude."
Eddy: [sarcastic] "I think you need to adopt a bet–ter...adopt." [He turns to Edd.] "Stay with me." [He pretends to be asleep.] "I wake up. It's Christmas morning. But I'm in someone else's house, and I cash in on their swank presents! I'm putting myself up for adoption, Double D!"
Edd: "Adoption? But Eddy, you can't forsake your own family! It's Christmas, Eddy!"
Eddy: "That's right! And I want presents!" [He leaves.]
Edd: "You'll regret this, Eddy. Don't turn your back on the true meaning of Christmas!"
Ed: [ominous] "Santa's not going to like this one bit, Double D."

[Eddy walks confidently through the snow.]
Eddy: "Can't wait to see what I'm gonna get this year. Maybe a car...maybe a diamond watch..."
[Eddy falls off the edge of the snow. Around one house, all the snow is melted away.]
Eddy: "Where'd the snow go?"
[Eddy goes up to the house and knocks on the door.]
Eddy: "Ho ho ho, Jonny boy." [Jonny leans out and bites the end of Eddy's nose.] "YOWCH!"
Jonny: "Nippin at your nose, Eddy. Get it?" [He chuckles.] "I'm Jack Frost, and Plank's Mister Snowflake!"
Eddy: "Why, you dirty–" [changing gears] "Listen up, Jonny, it's the darndest thing! I was just walking down the street, when a reindeer swoops down and lands right beside me."
Jonny: "No way, Jose!"
Eddy: "Way! And he had a note in his mouth. A telegram from Santa!"
Jonny: "Right on!"
Eddy: [pulling out a paper] "Santa says he got so fat over the summer, he can't fit down my chimney." [Eddy is looking at a failed quiz paper.] "So he's gonna leave my presents at your house."
Jonny: "My house? Whaddya waitin for?"

[Jonny leads Eddy through an ice cave.]
Jonny: "Make yourself at home, Eddy!"
[Eddy looks around. Everything is made of snow and ice.]
Jonny: "Do you wanna warm up by the fire?"
[The fire is also just a sculpture made of frozen water.]
Jonny: "Cuz you can't! It's ice! See?" [He twings it.] "I'm Jack Frost, and he's Mister Snowflake!"
Eddy: [under his breath] "I heard you the first time, ya bald-headed–" [normally] "So, what's with all the snow, and–" [He trips.] "–...ice."
Jonny: "Each Christmas we bring winter inside, Eddy. It's our family tradition! A small thanks to Mother Nature for everything she's given us!" [He bites Eddy's nose again.] "Nipped your nose, Eddy!"
[Eddy skids backwards and winds up next to a Christmas tree. Underneath it sit many presents.]
Eddy: "Presents!" [He picks one up only to find it encased in ice.] "Hey Jack, get me an ice pick, willya? I wanna see what I got."
Jonny: "Ice pick?" [He listens to Plank.]
Jonny: "Mister Snowflake says no problem, Eddy!"
Eddy: "So what're you waiting for? It'll take all night to crack these babies open."
[Jonny knocks the gift away with a trashcan lid. He gives the lid to Eddy.]
Eddy: "What's this?" [Jonny pulls a lever.] "What's that?" [A trapdoor opens beneath him.]
Jonny: "See ya!"
[Eddy falls. He puts the lid under him and slides on a rollercoaster of ice and snow. Along the way, Eddy's tongue flies out his mouth and gets stuck on the ice and it stretches as he slides down. Eventually, it leads to a door, and Jonny opens it. Eddy sails out and hits a tree. Jonny walks along Eddy's tongue to scold him.]
Jonny: "We're on to your schtick, Eddy! Mister Snowflake had you figured from the get go! You're nothing but a greedy Pete, trying to steal our Christmas!"
[Jonny and Plank go back inside, slamming the door on Eddy's stuck tongue.]
Eddy: "YOWCH!"
[Eddy's tongue comes loose and goes back into his mouth, swollen.]
Eddy: [tongue swollen] "Ah, who needs you? I got a million Christmases on this block!"

[Eddy walks through the snow. He comes upon Rolf, who is hanging decorations of meat and fish from his gutters. He is wearing a sheep costume. When he finishes, he steps back to admire his work, and that's when Eddy makes his move on Rolf.]
Eddy: "Woe is me, woe is me."
Rolf: "Look at you, Ed-boy. Why does your face sag like Papa's pot of parsnips?"
Eddy: "My parents were attacked by renegade baggage handlers, Rolf! And they stole all my presents!"
Rolf: "Scoundrels! Rolf is wise to the tote-handlers! Still, they are a higher caste than the son of a shepherd. Rolf cannot help you in this matter."
Eddy: "No! Wait! I beg ya! I've got no Christmas, Rolf. No presents, no family, no nothing. Please, Rolf?"
Rolf: "You have pulled Rolf's eggplant, half-man half-woman Ed-boy. Come, grab the tail of Rolf's sheep of joy and enjoy the season of mirth."

[Rolf throws Eddy into his house. Like the outside, it is decorated with many meats.]
Rolf: "Behold the toil of twenty-four days, Ed-boy. A celebration of whatnots, bangles, knickknacks, doodads, and an assortment of cured, smoked, poached and other mammal flesh!"
Eddy: "You could smell it a mile away, Stretch. Who's the bearded troll?" [He points to a framed picture.]
Rolf: [laughing] "You crack Rolf's bowels! Surely you recognize the great Yeshmiyek. She who lives in the center of the earth, where she prepares the holiday feast for good males and females." [taking out an accordion] "Let us sing in honor of her great stewing!" [singing happily]

"Deep below the dirt and rocks there lives a bearded maiden fair
Whose kitchen pot is bigger than her size of underwear, hey!

[Rolf stops and points at Eddy. Eddy wonders what he's supposed to do, then blows into a horn Rolf gave him.]

"Yeshmiyek who peels the root and grinds the sausage with her boot!
Yeshmiyek who cures the meat and stuffs the fruit with sugared beets!
Yeshimyek who salts the pork and stabs it with her silver fork!
Yeshmiyek who cuts the cheese and gives the loaf of bread a squeeze...
"But should your chores be never done
Your feeble arms too weak to toil
Yeshmiyek will surely come
And throw you in the pot to boil.
[happy again]
"Yeshmiyek who smokes the fish and lays a slab on every dish!
Yeshmiyek who guts the hare and seasons it with special care!

Eddy: [interrupting] "Hold it, hold it, hold it!" [rips through the background and returns us to Rolf's living room]
Rolf: "Rolf does not take requests, Ed-boy. Sorry."
Eddy: "So when do I rake in on the cool presents?"
Rolf: "Presents? What presents?" [He continues.]

"Yeshmiyek who bastes the lamb and spits the glaze on every ham!"
"Yeshmiyek who bastes the strudel, pickles feet and strings the noodle!
Yeshmiyek who–"

[Eddy leaves with an annoyed look on his face. He slams the door behind him, cutting off the song.]
Eddy: "What's a guy got to do to find a normal Christmas around here?"
[Edd watches him from a window.]
Edd: "There must be a way to get through to Eddy what the spirit of Christmas is about."
Ed: "Double D, look what I made!" [shows a drawing of him riding a rocket-powered Santa flying through the air] "A picture for Santa's wallet! I'm the one without a hat."
Edd: "That's very nice, Ed, but it saddens me to see our friend lost and so confused! I just know, deep inside him a flame flickers for the blessings of this holiday! Perhaps it's time for fate to lend a helping hand."
[Edd and Ed whisper a plan between them.]

[A doorbell rings, and Nazz comes to open it.]
Nazz: "Hey, Eddy! Merry Christmas, dude."
[Eddy's jaw drops. Nazz is wearing a special Christmas costume.]
Nazz: "Aw, you look cold! Why don't you come in?" [She pulls him inside.] "We got lots of candy canes and I'm sure I can find you a present or two."
Eddy: "I like your Christmas!"
Nazz: "But before you get any gifts–eggnog?–you have to put this up." [She holds up some mistletoe.] "You know what happens when someone catches you under the mistletoe, don't you, Eddy?"
[Eddy chokes on his eggnog and spits it out all over Nazz.]

[Nazz angrily points Eddy out the door. As he leaves, she takes his present from him and shuts the door. Eddy trudges through the snow.]

[The Kankers walk through the snowy woods. They come upon where the star has pointed its light–an overturned shopping cart. Inside lies a moldy piece of bread. May picks it up.]
May: "What the heck is it?"
Lee: "It's a sign, stupid."

[The Kankers climb up a snowy hill. Lee and May stop at the top and look at the star. Marie steps over the edge and tumbles down to where it is shining. In the light are franks and cents.]
Marie: "Wieners and pennies?"

[The Kankers march on, through the construction site. The star is now shining upon a parked bulldozer. In the seat sits a fur coat.]
Lee: [taking it] "It's a coat!" [She leads them on.] "C'mon. We're getting closer."

[A grumpy Eddy trudges through the snow.]
Eddy: "So if Christmas is about givin', how come I ain't gettin'?"
[A gift-wrapped box hits him in the face. A rope is tied to it.]
Eddy: "A present!" [It is pulled away.] "Hey, where ya goin?"
[Eddy chases it to the base of a tree. There, it is pulled up into the sky. An angelic form, lit by the moon, descends.]
Edd: [as an angel] "Hark, the herald angels sing, Eddy. I bring you tidings of great joy."
Ed: "And lo! An angel showed up as they counted their flock of chickens in the night." [Ed is dressed as a shepherd.]
Edd: "Forsake your journey, Eddy! You are not beyond the path of redemption. You can still return to the path of goodwill, and peace among your fellow-" [A snowball smacks his cheek.]
Ed: "Nice shot, Eddy!"
[Eddy grabs Ed's crook and uses it to pull his feet out. The series of ropes holding Edd up give way, and Edd falls to the ground. Eddy grabs his wings, tucks them under his arm, and walks away for another house.]
Edd: [calling] "It's not too late to embrace the joy of the season, Eddy!"
Ed: "Fa-la-la-la-la, Eddy!"

[A doorbell rings inside a VERY festive house. Jimmy walks to the door and throws it open.]
Jimmy: "Feliz navidad!" [His eyes bug. Eddy is outside, angel wings taped to his back.]
Eddy: "Hey Jimmy, check out the wings!"
Jimmy: "Are you a Christmas angel?"
Eddy: "How'd you guess? Every year, Eddy the Christmas Angel shares with someone else in the spirit of gift-giving. And this year happens to be your year! What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine! Get it? Hel-lo!" [He darts to the tree and looks under it. No presents are there.] "Where's the presents?"
Jimmy: "Quickly, I must show you something!"
[Jimmy leads Eddy to his kitchen.]
Eddy: [holding his hands out] "Gimme gimme gimme!" [He gets nothing.] "What? So?"
[Jimmy is displaying an amazing metropolis on his kitchen table made entirely of baked goods.]
Jimmy: "It's my Holly Jolly Christmas Village, silly! Nothing says joyeux noel like the gingery scent of gingerbread sailors out on a sugar-glazed shore leave!"
Eddy: "Smells good enough to eat."
Jimmy: "Oh, and look at this!"
Eddy: "Finally! Presents?"
Jimmy: "If you mean the presence of delectable decorative baking, then yes!" [He giggles.] "Why settle for blase pats of butter when, using only simple cookie cutters, one can create a festive holiday assortment of butter shapes to smear onto fresh, toasty buns?" [He shows them off to Eddy.] "Oops. Having my own angel is so exciting, I've got to tinkle. Be right back!"
[Jimmy leaves, and Eddy looks around the kitchen. His gaze settles on the Christmas village.]

Jimmy: [returning] "Did you know that you can dazzle your guests with miniature mashed potato snowmen using an ordinary ice cream scoop? MY CHRISTMAS VILLAGE!"
[Eddy has devoured the entirety of Jimmy's artwork.]
Jimmy: "Destroyed! Devastated! And digested!"
Eddy: [chewing] "I've gotta hand it to ya, these cookies are to die for."
Jimmy: [looking at him] "You!"
[Jimmy dials the telephone as Eddy finishes his mouthful. Suddenly, the door bursts open.]
Sarah: "Jimmy! Where is he?"
[Sarah throws Eddy out.]
Eddy: [growing desperate] "Just a couple of presents! It's Christmas, for Pete's sake!"
Sarah: "Scram!"
[Jimmy brings Eddy's wings out and drops them on the sidewalk.]
Jimmy: "And stay out."
Edd: [watching despondently] "Oh, Eddy, why? Ed, it appears our efforts have had no effect on Eddy's complete lack of Christmas cheer."
Ed: [referring to the clothes] "Just a couple of guys wearing dresses on Christmas Eve, huh, Double D?"
Edd: [ignoring him] "All is not lost, Ed, for this angel still has one more trick up his robe."
Ed: "I promise not to peek, Double D."

[Kevin is on a snowboard, shredding the cul-de-sac. He pulls a few tricks, including a fence grind, before he heads into his yard. He stops there and throws his board against the house, where it rests, ready for tomorrow. He then walks to his door and enters. Eddy comes running up to the house.]
Eddy: [panting] "Kev! Wait up!"
[Eddy stops at the window and peers through. He sees Kevin's normal Christmas display and smiles.]

[Eddy's arm is under the door, and he is trying to open it from the inside. Kevin notices. He comes over and opens it, and Eddy smiles, before realizing he now has to explain himself.]
Eddy: "Uh...adopt me, bro, it's Christmas!"
Kevin: "Yeah, right." [He goes to shut the door.]
Eddy: "No, wait, it's my parents! They were kidnapped by Aborigines! I need a present for their ransom, or they'll cut off their toenails! Just one, Kev. Toenails! Gone! Forever! I swear!"
Kevin: "Man, you're pathetic. Fine. Wait here."
[Kevin closes the door and goes inside.]
Eddy: [satisfied] "Hook, line, and stinker."
[Kevin returns bearing a gift-wrapped package.]
Kevin: "Here." [sarcastic] "I hope you like it."
Eddy: [grabbing it joyfully] "What is it?! Don't tell me! Let me guess! Too late!"
[He rips the paper off, and Kevin's fist shoots out. It hits him with such force that Eddy's shoes fall off.]
Kevin: "Merry Christmas, dork!"
[Kevin laughs and goes inside. Eddy gets up and begins pummeling his door desperately.]
Eddy: [begging] "Let me in, Kev, please? All I want is a good Christmas!"
[The door stays shut. Now sad, Eddy hangs his head low, turns around and trudges through the snow in his sock-clad feet, defeated. He stops in the middle of the street and looks at the snow coming down around him. He then looks back at the cul-de-sac, where the kids are celebrating their Christmases. He then trudges forward. He comes to the park, and finds a Christmas tree on a small hill, decorated and beautiful. He stops by it as the snow falls around and on him. Suddenly, one of the bulbs in a string on the tree burns out. Eddy looks at the tree and shivers. He then blows on his hands to try and warm them. Eddy puts his hands in his pockets and finds the light bulb Ed put in his left pocket earlier. Eddy looks at it and then back at the tree. He makes his way up the hill and unscrews the bulb, replacing it with the fresh one. The light glows pink and the tree looks prettier than before. Eddy, still shivering, leaves the hill, but looks back. The tree has taken on an incredible glow, casting its light all over the cul-de-sac. Ed and Edd join Eddy.]
Edd: "Oh, Eddy, I'm so proud of you! You did it!"
Ed: [hugging Eddy] "A big hug for my little man!"
Eddy: "What'd I do?"
Edd: "You replaced the bulb, Eddy!" [Ed sets Eddy down.]
Eddy: "So? The tree needed a light and I put one in! Big whoop."
Edd: "Don't you see, Eddy? You made an unselfish gesture! You gave willingly of your heart without thought of your own gain! This is the gift of giving, Eddy! This is what the spirit of Christmas is all about!"
Eddy: "It is? Hey, that didn't hurt a bit! Actually feels kinda good, Double D. 'Cause–Christmas ain't about what you find under a tree. Christmas is about what you find in your heart!"
[The kids trickle towards the tree, murmuring in appreciation.]
Jimmy: "That tree glows as though it were touched by an angel!"
Nazz: "It's absolutely beautiful."
Kevin: "Awesome, to say the least."
Rolf: "Rolf basks in the warmth of the glowing wood."
Jonny: "Plank says that's one hot looking tomato!"
[A big red bag falls out of the sky, landing by the tree. Santa is seen flying away on his sleigh.]
Santa: "Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!"
Eddy: "Santa?"
Ed: "Take me with you! I Ed, you Santa, we good!"
Eddy: [noticing the bag] "Sack?" [He looks inside and sees many presents.] "Presents!"
The Kids: "Presents?"
Eddy: "There's one for Jonny, and Plank, and Sarah, to Jimmy, Nazz, Kevin, Rolf, Double D, and me!" [The kids smile.] "Jackpot!" [He steals the bag and heads for the hills.]
Jonny: "Where'd it go?"
Sarah: "Hey!"
Jimmy: "What the..."
Nazz: "Not cool!"
Kevin: "Come back here!"
Rolf: "Oh well."

[Eddy runs past a forlorn Ed. Edd comes up to Ed.]
Edd: "Ed, Eddy's pillaged Saint Nick's satchel of intermutual yuletide bestowals!" [Ed stands there, unsure of what Edd just said.] "The presents, Ed! Eddy has taken the presents!"
Ed: "Santa's presents?!?!?" [He joins the chase.]

[Eddy hops a fence and runs into Rolf's backyard. He throws the bag into the shed and follows it. To ensure no followers, he puts a plank in front of the door. It is of no avail, however; Ed uses his head as a battering ram and knocks the door down. Angry at the thievery of Santa's presents, he stalks in.]
Edd: [despairing] "Eddy, how wrong can you be in this most wonderful time of the year? Reconsider your actions!"
Ed: "What is it to be young man, naughty or nice?"
Eddy: "I'm the one who gave willingly from his heart. Back off! This sack's mine!"
[Ed throws down his shepherd's rod and grabs the sack. He runs for the door.]
Ed: "Santa brought presents for all the good little boys and girls, Eddy!"
[In front of the door stands Eddy. He has taped the wood in front of it.]
Eddy: "Santa's sack's mine! Give it!"
Ed: [wrestling with him] "Santa's, Eddy!"
Edd: "Gentlemen, please!"
Ed: "Santa's sack!"
Eddy: "It's mine!"
Edd: "Goodwill? Peace on earth?"
Ed: "It's Santa's!"
Eddy: "Mine!"
Ed: "Santa's, Eddy!"
[Ed hurls it out the roof, Edd still on its top. Edd falls off, though, and his angel costume catches on the torn roof. He hangs there, looking like an actual angel.]
Edd: "Oh, dear."

[The kids are by the tree, mourning their loss.]
Kevin: "Of all the no-good–"
Sarah: [comforting a crying Jimmy] "It's okay, Jimmy."
Rolf: "Here today, gone tomorrow, yes?"
[The sack lands behind the tree.]
The Kids: "YAY!"

[Ed and Eddy stand in the shed, looking through the hole in the roof.]
Eddy: "Where'd the sack go? You idiot!" [He throws Ed aside.] "My presents!"
[Eddy rushes for the door. Just as he reaches it, a cold wind blows it open, pushing him backwards. He falls into a trough and lies there.]
Edd: "Can it be?"
[At the door stand three shadowy figures. Each has a crown on its head.]
Edd: "Three kings who have traveled afar?"
[The kings enter. It is the Kankers, reaching their final destination.]
Lee: "A babe in a manger, huh? We come bearing gifts!" [They hold out the gifts.]
May: "See? Mold!"
Marie: "I brought franks and cents!"
Lee: "And fur!"
[The Kankers and the Eds gather in the middle of the shed. They make a very odd festivity decoration.]
Edd: "Well, this image certainly has the Christmas spirit."
May: "Now it's time for our gifts!"
Marie: "Payback! Christmas kisses all around!"
Lee: "We ain't talking on the cheeks, either!"
[The Kankers start in with the torture.]
Edd: [being pulled down] "Wait! What're you doing? I'm an angel, stop!"
Eddy: "I'm too young!"
[Lee puts a wreath on the door with a sign in it. The sign reads "Do not open until next Xmas."]
The Kids:

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
And a happy new year!

[The kids are standing on a cliff, serenading the shed with tiding of joy, although Rolf is having trouble reading the carol.]
The Kids:

Good tidings we bring
To you and your kings
Good tidings for Christmas
And a happy new year!
Specials Scripts
"Ed, Edd n Eddy's Jingle Jingle Jangle" • "Ed, Edd n Eddy's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo" • "Ed, Edd n Eddy's Boo Haw Haw" • "The Eds are Coming" • "Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show"
Seasons: Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4Season 5Season 6Specials
See also: Episode Guide