Ed, Edd n Eddy

[The Eds are in a backyard, looking at something. As we zoom in, we see they're looking for four-leaf clovers.]
Ed: "One, two, three... Nope. One, two–" [He sees a caterpillar crawling on his hand] "–hello!" [He watches it move.] "Cool."
Edd: "One–" [Ed moves past, imitating the caterpillar.]
Ed: "I am going to be a beautiful butterfly."
Eddy: "Three, three...it's got to be a four. A four-leaf clover means good luck. And luck means we'll be able to talk people into anything."
Edd: "With good luck, the daily chore of applying fabric softener would be a thing of the past."
Ed: "I got it! I found some luck!" [He trips over a sprinkler and slides underground, ending up at Eddy's feet.]
Eddy: "Where's the clover, Ed?"
[Ed sticks his hands out, revealing a Baby Blue Gym Sock.]
Eddy: "What's with the weed?"
Edd: "Actually, Eddy, it's a very Rare flower." [Eddy grabs it by its stem.] "Please, be gentle, Eddy!"
Eddy: "Yeah. Cute, whatever." [He tosses it over his shoulder. Edd catches it just before it hits the ground.]
Ed: [with a mouthful of dirt] "Amn duh."
Eddy: "Is a four-leafed clover too much to ask for? Bingo!" [He has found one and holds it up.] "Feel the magic, boys!" [A deep rumbling is heard.] "Huh?"
Ed: [looking for the source of the noise and not finding it] "Eddy!" [He jumps into Eddy's arms.]
Eddy: "You're giving me a hernia, Ed."
Ed: "It sounds like the howl of a werewolf from the belly of Hades!" [The growl comes again.]
Eddy: "Get off me, Ed! That's your belly!"
Ed: [lifts his shirt; his stomach rumbles again] "I'm hungry."
Eddy: "Let's go to my place and make some pizza!"
Edd: "I'll make the sauce!"
Ed: "I'll get in the way and make a big mess."

[Sarah and Jimmy are playing hopscotch.]
Sarah: "Your turn, Jimmy."
Jimmy: "Here goes. Whee!"
Ed: [rushing past him] "Double cheese, hold the onions!"
[Eddy comes by and erases the squares around Jimmy's, leaving him stranded.]
Jimmy: "I'm stranded!"
Sarah: "Eddy, you blockhead!"
Jimmy: "I'm falling!" [Sarah catches him and sets him upright.]
Sarah: "Got you, Jimmy." [to a passing Edd] "LOOK WHAT YOUR STUPID FRIEND EDDY DID!"
Edd: [turning around] "Excuse me."
Jimmy: "Is that a Baby Blue Gym Sock?" [He and Sarah sniff it.] "It's beautiful."
Eddy: [offscreen] "C'mon, Double D!"
Edd: [handing Sarah the flower] "Here. You keep it."
Sarah: [sniffing it] "Aah. Double D and me were meant to be. Whee!" [She skips off after the Eds, leaving Jimmy all alone.]
Jimmy: "Sarah?"

[Eddy is rummaging in the fridge. Ed walks by holding a giant wheel of cheese.]
Ed: "Big cheese!"
Eddy: [arms full of eggs] "Talking to me, Ed?"
Edd: "I've blanched the tomatoes, and now for a dash of oregano! Careful..."
Eddy: "And one egg, and five eggs!" [He breaks five eggs at once, causing Edd to drop the oregano bottle in the sauce.]
Edd: "Eddy, please! I'm trying to concentrate."
Eddy: [his mouth full of eggs resembling a goofy smile] "What?"
Edd: [to himself] "Oh, doesn't he understand how easily tomato sauce bruises?"
Eddy: "How much yeast, Double D?"
Edd: "Just one tablespoon, Eddy."
Eddy: "Yeah, right." [He adds the whole canister, and the bowl of dough begins to bubble.] "Ed, quit eating all the cheese!"
Ed: [mouth full of cheese] "Cheese, Swiss."
Eddy: [handing him a stick of pepperoni] "Pepperoni, Italian."
Ed: [with a slicer] "Slicer, aluminum." [He slices the pepperoni.]
[The doorbell rings.]
Edd: "Someone's at the door, Eddy."
Eddy: [fighting with the dough] "Get that, willya? I gotta knead this pizza dough." [the dough too big for him to handle and absorbs his fist] "Ed! Ed! Give me a hand."
Ed: "Okay, Eddy." [Ed stops using the slicer and instead uses the dough as a trampoline.]

[Edd opens the door. Sarah is standing there.]
Edd: "Sarah!"
Sarah: "Whatcha doin?"
Edd: "Making pizza."
Sarah: [fluttering her eyelashes] "Aren't you gonna invite me in?"
Edd: "It's not really my house."
[Sarah enters as Edd backs up, and the door slams behind them.]

Ed: "Belly flop!" [He dives on the dough.]
Eddy: "Looks good and flat. Get the sauce, Ed."
[Edd is still backing away from Sarah.]
Eddy: "Keep it coming. I can't wait to taste it." [Sarah backs Edd into the kitchen, and Ed drops the pot of sauce. Some sauce splatters on Eddy's face.]
Ed: "Sarah!"
Eddy: "What's your sister doing in my house? And what's she doing with Double D?"
Edd: "Do I have something caught in my teeth?" [Jimmy watches from a window.]
Jimmy: "Sarah?" [He slides down the glass.]
Eddy: "Ed."
Ed: "Uh-oh."
Eddy: "Get rid of her."
Sarah: "Come out of there, silly."
Edd: [hiding in a cabinet] "I'm quite comfortable, thank you."
Ed: [trying to assert himself] "Um, Sarah? Don't you think you should go outside and play?"
Eddy: "Hey, squirt!"
Sarah: "Come and play with me, Double D."
Eddy: "Your mother's calling ya!" [He grabs her.]
[The door opens, and Eddy comes sailing out. Sarah blows him a raspberry and shuts the door. When Eddy tries to come back in, Sarah throws Ed into him.]
Ed: "Hi, Eddy!"
Eddy: "C'mon, Ed." [He rushes inside.]
Edd: [crouched on top of the refrigerator] "Eddy! Help me!"
Sarah: "Come down, Double–huh?" [She notices magnetic letters on the refrigerator door.] "Aah." [She rearranges them.] "There."
Eddy: "Hey! Don't touch my–" [looking at the message spelled out] "Sarah and Double D? Your sister's got a crush on Double D!"
Ed: "And she's a good speller!"
Edd: "Crush?" [He sees Sarah next to him.]
Sarah: "You're my boyfriend."
Eddy: [grabbing Edd] "Let's go, Romeo."
Sarah: "Gimme back my boyfriend!"

[Jimmy is looking at a picture of Sarah. He clutches it to his chest.]
Jimmy: "I'm an island in the tempest sea. Oh, the agony!" [a bell rings] "Yummy! Lunch!" [He takes a pastry out of his oven.] "Light and fluffy." [The pastry collapses.] "Darn egg whites."

[The Eds pop their heads out of a bush.]
Edd: "I think I'm sitting on a twig."
Eddy: "Looks like we lost her. Let's go."
[The Eds crawl out of the bush. Edd's leg gets caught on something as he exits.]
Edd: [trying to yank his leg out] "Pesky twig!" [He yanks his leg free of the bush, revealing Sarah clinging to him.]
Sarah: "Come and see my dollies, boyfriend!"
Ed: "That twig looks like Sarah."
Edd: [being hugged by Sarah] "Too close. Too close!"
Eddy: "Quit fooling around, Double D!" [He yanks Edd away.]
Ed: "Go, Eddy!"
[The Eds run for it until Sarah pops out of Edd's hat.]
Sarah: "Where we going, boyfriend?" [The Eds stop.] "Ring around the boyfriend, ring around the boyfriend!" [She jumps on Edd's back.] "Piggyback ride!"
Eddy: "We've had enough, Sarah!"
Sarah: "Mind your own beeswax, bub!"
Edd: "Sweat. I'm starting to sweat!"
Eddy: [to Ed] "Your sister's out of control!"
Sarah: [tickling Edd] "Coochie coochie coo."
Eddy: "Hey Sarah, Double D wrote you a poem."
Sarah: "For me?" [She takes the scrap of paper Eddy holds out.] "Get lost. Oh, that's so–" [She realizes the meaning at the same time she notices Edd is no longer under her.] "–HEY!"
[Ed and Eddy are carrying Edd, hightailing it out of there.]

[Jimmy is dragging a teddy bear along the pavement. He spots something and heads towards it.]

[The something turns out to be another Baby Blue Gym Sock, this time planted. Jimmy sniffs at it.]
Jimmy: "If only Sarah–" [he remembers what he perceives as Sarah's betrayal] "–Double D."
[Jimmy stomps on the flower.]
Jimmy: "Stupid flower! I'm a lone wolf looking for trouble." [He throws his bear down and rips its head off. Jonny approaches.]
Jonny: "Hey Jimmy, whatcha doin?" [He sees the destroyed bear.] "Was that a bad bear?" [Jimmy approaches Jonny, attempting to punch him, but ends up spinning in circles.] "Are we playing tag? Tag! You're it!"
[He tags Jimmy and runs away, leaving the boy fuming.]

[Eddy peeks out from under a garage door. He then closes the door and looks inside.]
Eddy: "We're germ free. And back to normal. How's it coming?"
Edd: "The paper-mache is ready, Eddy!"
Ed: "And lumpy!"
Edd: "And quick-drying!" [Ed takes his hands out of the muck. The material quickly hardens around his hands.]
Ed: "Cool."
Eddy: "This has to be the best plan yet. We'll be eating jawbreakers in no time. The kids'll pay big to see a full-size dinosaur! Maybe we can get the head on it today."
Ed: "I am the dino-head! RAWRR!"
Edd: "We need more top support, Eddy."
Sarah: [grabbing his plans] "Boyfriend. This is stupid. Dinosaurs." [She cuts the plans into paper cutouts of her and Edd dancing.] "Can you ballroom dance?"
Edd: "Eddy!"
Eddy: "What, Double D? Sarah! Leave Double D alone!"
Sarah: "Keep out of it!" [While her back is turned, Edd runs away.]
Edd: "Sanctuary!" [He hides in Ed's jacket.] "Ssh."
Sarah: "You're fun, boyfriend!" [She knocks the ladder Eddy is perched on over.]
Eddy: "Whoa! Steady down there!"
[The ladder tips and takes some plaster off the dinosaur's foot. Ed catches it just in time to swing Eddy into a shelf, knocking everything on it over. A paint can rolls under Ed's foot, and he flies into the air. It becomes Eddy's responsibility to carry him. Eventually, Ed's side drops. The ladder digs into the ground, and as a result Eddy is shot backward, destroying the foot and splashing paper-mache all over Edd.]
Sarah: "Hello, trapped boyfriend."
Ed: "Eddy, you got to see this!"
Sarah: [painting hearts on Edd] "Lots of hearts for you, boyfriend!"
Eddy: "That's pathetic!"
Ed: "Sarah's weird when Jimmy's not around."
Eddy: "Ed! That's it! We need to find Jimmy!"
Ed: "But what about Double D?"
Eddy: "He's not going anywhere."
Edd: [as Sarah hangs a daisy chain around his neck] "Um, guys?"

[Eddy and Ed rush into the park.]
Eddy: "Hey, Jimmy."
[Jimmy is sitting on a teeter-totter, playing by himself.]
Jimmy: "What are you looking at, dork?"
Eddy: "Dork? Me?"
Jimmy: [putting his dukes up] "Looking for trouble? 'Cause I'll flip you like an omelet."
Eddy: "Whoa, take it easy, Tarzan! You want Sarah back, right? So you scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours."
Jimmy: "Where's my Sarah?" [kicking Eddy in the shins] "I want Sarah! I miss Sarah! Give her back!" [He continues to kick Eddy.]
Eddy: "Let's get this over with."

[Ed beckons to Eddy, who is carrying Jimmy. Jimmy has a bucket over his head.]
Jimmy: "I can't see! I can't see!"
Eddy: "Relax, squirt."
[Ed signals to Edd, who is leading Sarah the other way. Sarah is blindfolded.]
Sarah: "I like surprises."
Edd: [not talking so much as making noises] "Uh, well, yewahl."
Jimmy: [lifting his bucket] "Sarah?"
Sarah: [lifting her blindfold] "Jimmy?"
Jimmy: "Wanna come over and pleat my curtains?"
Sarah: "Okay."
[They run off, and the Eds sink down on the street corner, exhausted.]
Edd: "Well, it's better to have loved and lost–"
Ed: "Than lost and found!"
Eddy: "You said it! What a rotten day. So much for good luck." [He tosses the clover away.] "Let's go."
Jonny: [finding the clover] "Look, Plank, a four-leaf clover!" [finding something else] "Look, Plank! A twenty-dollar bill!"
[He and Plank walk on.]
Eddy: "Hey!" [depressed] "That's our luck."
Edd: "That's always our luck."
[Ed's stomach grumbles.]
Ed: "I'm hungry."

Season 1 Scripts
"The Ed-Touchables" • "Nagged to Ed" • "Pop Goes the Ed" • "Over Your Ed" • "Sir Ed-a-Lot" • "A Pinch to Grow an Ed" • "Dawn of the Eds" • "Virt-Ed-Go" • "Read All About Ed" • "Quick Shot Ed" • "An Ed Too Many" • "Ed-n-Seek" • "Look Into My Eds" • "Tag Yer Ed" • "Fool on the Ed" • "A Boy and His Ed" • "It's Way Ed" • "Laugh Ed Laugh" • "A Glass of Warm Ed" • "Flea-Bitten Ed" • "Who, What, Where, Ed" • "Keeping up with the Eds" • "Eds-Aggerate" • "Oath to an Ed" • "Button Yer Ed" • "Avast Ye Eds"
Seasons: Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4Season 5Season 6Specials
See also: Episode Guide