Ed, Edd n Eddy

[Nazz is applying lipstick while Jimmy copies her and does the same to Sarah when a crash from down the hall distracts them. The crashes come again, and we see that they are coming from the gym. Eddy is tightening a pot down over Ed's eyes with a hammer.]
Eddy: "Hey, don't let this get around, but I'M LIKING THIS ASSIGNMENT!"
Edd: "It's fun-edu-tastic, Eddy! Even the most menial of school projects, when approached creatively, can be enjoyable. Let's begin, shall we?" [He flips over a piece of paper, revealing a graph. At the top right corner is a piece of pie; in the bottom left sits a nose.] "We've been asked to establish the human brain's correlation with our sense of smell. Isn't this fun-edu-tastic, Eddy?"
Eddy: [snarky] "If you don't get on with it, I'm gonna fun-hit you over the head, Double D!"
[Eddy places a piece of tape on the ground. The tape dispenser is connected to Ed, and will trace his path.]
Ed: "Where are you, you little dickens? Eddy?" [Edd taps the metal lid.] "Oh, oh, okay! Um, I smell cabbage, and, um–" [Edd lifts the lid, revealing a piece of pie] "–bowling shoes, and, uh, canned luncheon meat? No wait, that is me."
[Eddy pulls the tin on Ed's head up slightly, allowing Ed's nose to pop out.]
Ed: "Peek-a-boo, I smell you!" [He sniffs the air.] "I smelt it, who dealt it?"
[Ed follows a convoluted path towards the pie, while Edd traces out his path on the graph. Eddy watches, bored. Suddenly, he sniffs the air. He then sniffs his armpits. Peering into the locker room, he spots an open gym bag with scent waves drifting out. Ed is getting closer to the pie]
Edd: "You're getting warmer, Ed. Warmer...warmer..." [He turns around. Ed has abandoned the pie and is following the gym bag Eddy is holding out in the air.]
Eddy: "Follow your nose, Ed!"
Edd: "Eddy, stop! You're confusing the test subject!" [Eddy leads Ed into a wall.]
Eddy: "Smell that, Lumpy?" [He makes Ed hit the wall again and laughs.] "How about that, Ed?" [He holds it in front of the indentation Ed has created. Ed breaks through the wall this time.] "I bet he smelled that one!"
Edd: "Eddy!"
[Inside the room, Jonny is offering an acorn-shaped card to Kevin, who is in one of the stalls.]
Kevin: "Dude! What are ya? Not now, man."
Jonny: "Be there or be square!"
Eddy: [to Edd, who is removing Ed's helmet] "What, that's it? We're done?"
Edd: "It's all fun and games 'till Ed loses consciousness, Eddy."
Jonny: "Special delivery, special delivery!" [He hops up and down, holding out a card.]
Edd: "For me? Why thank you, Jo–" [Eddy snatches the card.]
Eddy: "Plank's Groovy Arbor Day Party? What's that?"
Jonny: [incredulous] "What's that? You live in a cave? Every year, Plank pays tribute to all his timberland pals! And we eat, and eat, and eat, till our belly buttons pop out! Everyone's coming! It's gonna be a blast!"
Eddy: [suddenly interested] "Everyone?"
Ed: [excited and happy] "Pop my belly button! Pop my belly button!"
[Edd looks at the card and turns to Jonny.]
Edd: "Pardon me, Jonny. Not to rain on Plank's reception, but Arbor Day is the last Friday in April. Six months from now."
[Jonny looks at Edd blankly. Rolf enters the gym with a giant potato.]
Rolf: "Ho ho! Rolf has impressed his instructors, and surely will receive the alphabet A for his project, Rolf's mystical mixture of mammal manures." [He gestures to his potato.]
Edd: "Charming."
Jonny: "Rolf! Plank's having a barn-buster!" [He runs over to Rolf.]
Eddy: [ecstatic] "We got an invite! An invite to a party! An invite to a party that everyone's going to! We've hit the big time, boys! We're mingling!" [grabbing his friends] "Follow me! I know where my dad keeps his lucky cologne!"
Edd: "But Eddy, our assignment!"
Ed: "Do we reek of swank or what, Double D?" [He rubs the gym bag on his armpits.]
Edd: "My brain hasn't correlated that yet, Ed."

[It is nighttime, and Eddy is leading his friends to Jonny's. They are dressed in fancy clothes, ripe for partying.]
Eddy: "So here's the drill: we hit the cheese dip first. My brother told me that's where all the chicks hang out."
Ed: "Baby chickens are so cute!"
[The Eds arrive at Jonny's house.]
Eddy: [ignoring his friends] "Get the door, will ya?"
[Edd reaches for the doorbell with his finger. Ed grabs Edd's hand, pulling it back.]
Ed: "Allow me, Double D."
[Jonny is blowing up balloons when Edd's hand comes bursting through his wall in the spot where his doorbell was.]
Ed: "Ding dong."
[Jonny opens his door on Edd, who is holding his swollen hand and grimacing, and Ed, who is smiling.]
Edd: [forcing a smile] "Oh, hello Jonny."
Jonny: "Hey guys! A little late, aren'tcha? Where's Eddy?"
[Eddy reaches through a window and puts a tape in the tape deck. He presses play, and a chant begins.]
Edd: [hearing the chant] "That's odd."
Ed: [looking around] "Eddy?"
Eddy: "Out of the way, wallflowers!" [He bursts a bag of flour to create a smokescreen, then runs through the doorway.] "The par-tay! Has! Arrived!" [He dances across the room into a chair.] "Now where's that cheese dip?"
[Eddy looks at the party for the first time and is shocked. His friends and Jonny are the only ones in the living room.]
Eddy: [regaining his cool] "A kitchen party, huh? Gotcha!"
[Eddy slides into the kitchen and slams into the fridge. As in the living room, there is nobody home.]
Eddy: [disgruntled] "Man! I hate being early..."
Jonny: [entering behind him] "Zow-wee! Nice entrance, Eddy! You sure know how to par-tay!"
[Ed, trying to get into the kitchen, gets tangled in the beads. He fights to get through them and only makes it worse. Edd pulls on one of the strings, releasing Ed. He steps into the kitchen.]
Jonny: "Right on! You guys rock!" [He puts a party hat on Eddy.] "So what are we waiting for? C'mon, Plank was just telling some killer jokes!" [He hands Ed and Edd hats.]
[The Eds and Jonny make their way to a booth. Jonny sits across from Plank, and the Eds watch.]
Jonny: [giggling] "Hoo hoo hoo."
[Jonny bursts into laughter. Ed joins in. Edd and Eddy stand there, not amused. Edd, not wanting to be the odd man out, fakes a chuckle. Suddenly, Eddy leaps on the table.]
Eddy: "So, while we're waiting for the others to show up, how about we–"
[Eddy looks around. Everyone, even Plank, has gone into another room.]

[The party has moved to the parlor. The guests are sitting in a circle on a rug.]
Jonny: "Plank says it's Arbor Day party game time! Ready? Go!" [He runs around the circle, slapping the partygoers.] "Oak. Oak. Oak. Oak. Oak. Oak. Oak. Oak. Oak. Oak. Oak. Oak. Oak. Oak. Oak. Spruce! You're it, Plank! Catch me if you can!"
[Jonny runs around the circle laughing. Edd looks at Eddy sheepishly.]
Ed: "Faster, Plank, faster!"
Jonny: "You're wearing me out, buddy!"
Eddy: "STOP IT, WILLYA?!?" [Jonny skids to a halt.] "Um, say, how about that party food? You know, before everybody shows up."
Jonny: "It's coming, Eddy. Plank ordered some pizzas before you got here."
Edd: "Plank ordered pizza? Um Jonny, if I may–"
Ed: "Pop my belly button, Jonny!"
Jonny: [after a beat] "You're still it, buddy! Catch me if you can!" [He starts running again.]
[Eddy throws Plank at Jonny. The wood smacks Jonny upside the head.]
Jonny: "Tag! You got me, buddy!"
Eddy: [mumbling] "Oh, I'll get you, you melonheaded–" [normally] "–hey! Let's crank the tunes and get this joint a-jumpin!"
Jonny: "New game! Plank says, guess how many seeds are in the jar!"
[Eddy becomes angry.]
Ed: "Three!" [Eddy yanks Jonny away, and Jonny releases the jar.]
Edd: "976?" [The jar smashes on the ground.]
Ed: "Two!"
Eddy: "For Pete's sake, Jonny! These games stink, man! If you're gonna have a party, you gotta spice things up! Geez Louise! When's everybody supposed to get here, anyway?"
Jonny: "Didn't I tell ya, Eddy? Everyone said they were too busy! Kevin's making cupcakes, Rolf can't find socks that match, Nazz is pedaling papers, Jimmy's washing his hair, and Sarah said 'Beat it, Baldy.'"
[Eddy growls. He throws off his hat and stalks off to the door. He throws it open against the wall.]
Jonny: "Hey Eddy, where ya goin? Aren't you having fun?"
Eddy: "Fun? This party's deadsville. I'd have more fun pulling out my own teeth." [He leaves in aggravation.]
Jonny: "You would?" [His eyes brim with tears.] "For crying out loud! All I wanted was to make this a special day for Plank! Sorry, pal!" [sniffle] "I tried, but there's–" [sniffle] "–no Arbor Day wish this year!" [sob] "Why! I know, me too, buddy!" [He cries.]
[Eddy stops a few feet out the door. Grumpily, he turns around and goes back inside.]
Edd: "Eddy? I admit this hasn't been the most lively of festivities, but this party was of utmost significance to Jonny and Plank. Please, Eddy. Let Jonny make his Arbor Day wish." [Ed is seen fishing in Jonny's pond of tears.] "Then we'll politely leave."
Eddy: [grumpy] "Fine! Like it's my fault." [Jonny, suddenly normal, slams the door shut.]
Jonny: "Gotcha! I was just foolin. Ha ha ha!"
Eddy: "Why you little–"
[Ed grabs Eddy and puts his hat back on. Jonny brings out a box of Arbor Day decorations.]
Ed: "Goodie goodie looky!"
[Jonny reaches inside the box and holds up an acorn with a bow on it.]
Ed: "Oooo!"
Edd: "Yes, very, um...oooo."
[Jonny places it in a bottle cap.]
Jonny: "Ready? Everyone put your hand on the awesome Arbor Acorn and make your Arbor Day wish."
[Ed, Jonny, and Plank comply immediately. Eddy hesitates.]
Edd: "The sooner you make your wish, the sooner this ends and the sooner you can leave, Eddy."
[Eddy and Edd put their hands on the acorn.]
Ed: "I wish this will never end and we par-tay for ever!"
Eddy: [disbelieving] "Say what?"
Jonny: "Wow, Ed! That was Plank's wish too!"
Jonny and Ed: "Never ending party! Never ending party! Never ending party!" [They continue to chant.]
[Jonny locks the door. He and Ed nail boards over it to ensure that nobody escapes.]
Eddy: [angry] "Let him make a wish, you said! Then we would leave, you said!"
Edd: "A figure of speech, I'm sure, Eddy."
[The chant stops and Jonny ties Edd and Eddy's hands together with a daisy chain.]
Jonny: "We're the Arbor Day Daisy Chain of Woodland Buddies, who watch over the precious Arbor Day youngling, until it spurts! into a full grown tree." [He brings out a potted plant. A tree is just beginning to grow.]
[Eddy stares at Edd, angry.]
Eddy: "You hear that? I'll be a hundred years old!"
Edd: "Oh dear."
Jonny: "Am I the host with the most or what? Hit it, buddy!"
[Plank "plays" the pan pipes; no sound however is heard.]
Jonny and Ed: [chanting again] "Never ending party! Never ending party! Never ending party! Never ending party! Never ending party! Never ending party! Never ending party! Never ending party! Never ending party!"
Eddy: [over the chants] "GROW, YOU STUPID TREE, GROW!"

Season 5 Scripts
"Mission Ed-Possible" • "Every Which Way But Ed" • "Boom Boom Out Goes the Ed" • "Cleanliness Is Next to Edness" • "Out with the Old, In with the Ed" • "I Am Curious Ed" • "No Speak Da Ed" • "Cool Hand Ed" • "Too Smart for His Own Ed" • "Who's Minding the Ed?" • "Pick an Ed" • "Truth or Ed" • "This Won't Hurt an Ed" • "Tinker Ed" • "The Good, The Bad and The Ed" • "Tight End Ed" • "'Tween a Rock and an Ed Place" • "All Eds Are Off" • "Smile for the Ed" • "Run Ed Run" • "A Town Called Ed" • "A Fistful of Ed"
Seasons: Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4Season 5Season 6Specials
See also: Episode Guide