Pick an Ed

"Pick an Ed" is the 11th episode of Season 5 and the 113th episode of Ed, Edd n Eddy. In this episode, Eddy finds out that someone has called him a no-neck chump through graffiti. Eddy goes undercover as a new kid to find out who wrote the insult. When he finds out people are accepting him and actually thinking that he is cool, he decides to remain as his alter-ego forever.

Plot
Class is going on as usual inside a classroom at Peach Creek Jr. High when an explosion comes and the kids trot out, blackened and singed. Among the leaving pupils are the Eds. Eddy is naturally being lectured by Edd, this time for destroying the classroom, but Eddy is in no mood to listen to Edd, instead preferring to joke about how the teacher looked and how Edd looked. Ed then interrupts and mentions how he looked, and says that Chumpy knows funny. Ed and Eddy share a laugh right up until Eddy realizes what Ed calls him and demands an explanation.

Without further ado, Ed drags Eddy back upstairs and shows him some graffiti scrawled by the water fountain reading "Eddy is a no-neck chump". Eddy is infuriated at the thought of this, sure that someone's out to ruin his good name, but Edd is not ready to jump on this train of paranoia. After all, Eddy is a no-neck chump, and he has ostracized himself from the community at large, so it's no surprise that such graffiti would pop up and there's certainly no smear campaign against him.

Besides, Edd has a job to do, sorting lost items for the school lost-and-found, and he is happily doing this work when Eddy bursts in and starts rummaging haphazardly through the clothes. Edd complains that the world has gone mad, but is interrupted by Ed, who is in his happy place. Eddy, still looking through the clothes, outlines his plan for Edd. It seems that he wishes to go undercover, find who wrote the graffiti and then...well, he'll do something. He then shoves his friends out of the room while he continues the hunt.

When Eddy exits the room, he is wearing new clothes and has disguised his face slightly, but he's still pretty much the same old Eddy. Edd points this out, but his logic is rebuffed by Ed, who is certainly stupid enough to fall for this paper-thin disguise. Eddy then exits the scene to try out his new persona, whom he has dubbed Carl, on the kids.

The first one he comes to is Rolf, who is sitting under the bleachers and feeding the results of his latest English quiz to his goat. Eddy quickly steps in and gives him his backstory: his name is Carl, and his family just flew in from Ecuador. Upon hearing that Eddy is a foreigner as well, Rolf takes to him, wishing to share his sorrows. Eddy is then greeted with a simultaneous fortune and blight: Ed. Ed's appearance steals Rolf's attention away from "Carl", which is fortunate as Eddy doesn't have to listen to Rolf's spiel about his homeland, but Ed is looking for Eddy, and has even made fliers with Eddy's countenance on them. Eddy, not wanting to be recognized, quickly escapes from under the bleachers and walks straight into a fast-flying football.

When Eddy looks up, he hears Kevin calling him, congratulating him on the catch. Eddy comes over, surprised that Kevin would call to him, and is greeted with not the expected derision but a type of accepting respect. As a token of this respect, Kevin calls that it's time to break the new kid in, and everyone but the Eds, the Kankers, and Rolf dogpile on Eddy. Nazz introduces herself to him, and "Carl" is looking as though he'll genuinely be accepted when Ed arrives, once again bearing fliers advertising Eddy's disappearance.

None of the kids are terribly traumatized, or even mildly inconvenienced, by Eddy's departure, though. In fact, the general feeling is one of happiness, and the kids disperse for various reasons, leaving "Carl" alone with Ed and Edd. Edd asks Eddy how things are going, and Eddy reveals that he's feeling more paranoid than before, as the kids are actually acting nice. Edd explains to Eddy that this is actually natural; Carl has done nothing wrong and so is not mistreated by the kids, but rather accepted. Catching on, Eddy says that if this is the case, he is Carl from now on. Edd attempts to argue with him, but Eddy refuses to listen, as Carl has (according to him) the good life. Kevin then reappears and asks Eddy if he knows the two Eds. Eddy quickly fibs and says that there is no way that he'd hang with those two washouts, and the two go off to play. Edd is offended by how Eddy would so readily sell them out, while the oblivious Ed is unhappy because Eddy is missing. Edd, coming up with a plan, states to Ed that he has a feeling Eddy will be back sooner than even Eddy suspects.

Later that day the kids are coming in from playing in the schoolyard. Kevin is telling a story about how he was able to raise his grade by complimenting the teacher. Eddy figures out when to laugh and does so, complimenting Kevin on his story before going to get a drink from the fountain. As he drinks, he looks up and sees that the graffiti has changed: the name "Eddy" has been crossed out and replaced with "Carl". Eddy then looks around and sees the kids laughing, presumably at something Kevin said. Eddy doesn't see it this way, however, and his paranoia kicks into high gear. Eddy quickly flees, much to the surprise and shock of the kids.

Eddy leaps into the lost-and-found once again and comes up with a new disguise that he dubs Hugo. When he comes upstairs again, however, he finds that "Carl" has been crossed out and replaced with "Hugo". Agitated, Eddy rushes downstairs and creates a new persona, female this time, named Suzette. Plank senses something fishy this time, however, and after taking a look up Suzette's skirt tells Jonny what's really going on. Jonny then whispers something to Kevin, and Kevin throws a football at Suzette–a guided missile that knocks Eddy out of the dress, leaving him exposed. After some mockery, the kids vacate the hall, leaving Edd to come up to Eddy and have his turn at making fun of him. Ed also arrives, and after hugging Eddy reprimands him for having worried Ed sick. He then proceeds to drag Eddy outside, and for the rest of the day keeps Eddy on a short leash. Edd, still inside, looks at the graffitied wall and pulls out a sponge. Edd then cleans off the alter-egos, but stares at the original graffiti, which won't come off, wondering who exactly was responsible for it in the first place.

Memorable Quotes

 * Ed: [reading graffiti off the wall to Eddy] "'Eddy is a no-neck chump.' Can I have your autograph?"

Eddy: [taking no notice of Edd's griping] "It builds character! Did you see how big that vein got in the teacher's head when he started yelling?"
 * Edd: [griping about getting another detention] "It's all fun and games until academic grades fall, mister!"


 * Ed: "Did you see the look on Ed's face? I nearly wet my eyebrow, guys!"


 * Ed: "I'm in my happy place as "Chumpy, the no-neck Eddy", has a plan!"

Ed: [joyfully] "Every day of my life, Double D."
 * Edd: "Have you ever had one of those days, Ed?"

Rolf: [taking the picture from Ed] "The snake in the grass Ed-boy is missing?" Ed: "Yep! If you see him, bind him with duct tape, for he does not play well with others and is known to dribble."
 * Ed: [handing a picture of Eddy to Rolf] "Rolf! Have you seen this no-neck chump?"


 * Jonny: [in the middle of the dog-pile] "Did you hear my back crack?"


 * Ed: [throwing out leaflets with Eddy on them] "I have lost my Eddy! Trip you might over him, for he is short and squirrels like to pelt him with nuts!"


 * Ed: [still looking for Eddy] "Have you seen my Eddy? His turn-ons are full-length mirrors, greasy hair products and yelling. LOTS OF YELLING!"


 * Kevin: [showing off to the crowd] "So then I smooth the teacher over, give him props on his toupee and the guy gives me a B on the quiz! I swear!"

Edd: [trying to be sympathetic but knowing his friend's imagination all too well] "Perhaps a rest from television tonight, yes Ed?"
 * Ed: [blubbering over the missing Eddy] "Somewhere, my Eddy is cold and alone and will have to resort to eating his own body parts in order to survive, Double D!"


 * Ed: [eagerly dragging Eddy home with him] "Wait till you meet Carl, Eddy! He's from Ecuador! Fancy!"


 * Ed: [looking at Eddy thinking he's a new kid] "Look! A new kid! My name is Ed, friend. Oh, it's just Ed, not Ed Friend. I am Ed and you are a friend, so..."


 * Kevin: "Dog pile on the new kid!"

Trivia/Goofs

 * During the scene where Eddy is searching through the school's lost and found room, he pulls up a pair of underwear with the Canadian Flag printed on it. This could possibly be a reference to where the show is produced.
 * When Edd writes on the wall with markers, the colors are red and green; yet, at the end, he throws away a purple marker. He may have thrown away each marker after their initial usage, however.
 * It was never revealed who wrote "Eddy is a no-neck chump" on the wall. It was only revealed that Edd wrote the other names on the wall, but he seemed to wonder himself who wrote the sentence.
 * This is the only time the Lost and Found room at school is seen.
 * 81st time the Kankers don't appear.
 * The insult written may reference the fact that Eddy actually doesn't appear to have a neck and that his head appears to be attached directly to his shoulders.
 * The phrase "no-neck" originally came from "Gimme Gimme Never Ed."
 * Apparently, when a new kid comes to Peach Creek Jr. High, people would dogpile on the new kid as a welcoming ritual.
 * Suzette (Eddy) was the only alias name not written on the top of the water fountain. This is probably because Edd knew that the kids would be able to see through Eddy's disguise at that point thanks to Plank. It could also be because Edd didn't have time to write the name on the wall.
 * This episode uses a CGI animation when Edd is walking through the hallway with lockers and complaining about Eddy getting him, Ed and Eddy another detention.
 * When Eddy says "That's me! Nice guy!", it is a subtle nod to 'Nice Guy Eddie', Chris Penn's character in Reservoir Dogs.
 * Running Gags:
 * Eddy taking on a different alias when he sees "Eddy is a no-neck chump" written above the water fountain and then changing that alias when he sees the name of the alias he uses on written in place of the previous alias. Eddy was first "Carl," and then later "Hugo" and "Suzette".
 * Ed not knowing that Eddy is really "Carl".
 * Ed going about looking for Eddy.