The Ed-Touchables

"The Ed-Touchables" is the very first episode of Season 1 and the series premiere of Ed, Edd n Eddy, in which The Eds try to hunt down a "serial toucher" who's been stealing the Cul-de-Sac kids' stuff. It first aired (along with its companion episode Nagged to Ed) on Cartoon Network on Monday January 4, 1999.

Plot
The day begins with Edd labeling every item in his room. His business is interrupted when someone decides to play ding-dong-ditch at his front door. The first time he answers no one is there; the second time he checks the condition of the doorbell; the third time a bucket of water falls onto his head; the fourth time he is hit in the face with a fish and the fifth time Eddy shows up. Edd asks if he was responsible for the ding-dong-ditching but Eddy deliberately denies it.

While Eddy messes around with the labels in Edd's room, Edd suddenly notices that his magnifying glass is missing. He soon spirals into a nervous breakdown. Eddy manages to snap Edd out of it by slamming his bed onto his head. After preaching to Edd on how people shouldn't be touching his stuff, Eddy decides that they should go to Ed's House.

While Ed is watching a movie, Eddy and Edd sneak in and, unsuccessfully, try to dog-pile on him. After a brief moment, Ed's younger sister Sarah comes barging in his room accusing him of stealing her doll, Polly Poo Poo. After scuffling and realizing that two items have disappeared within a short amount of time, Eddy jumps to the conclusion that there is a "Serial Toucher" on the loose in the neighborhood.

The scene changes to Eddy standing in The Cul-de-Sac, warning the kids to beware of the serial toucher and telling them to hide their valuables. After getting offered to receive money for catching the thief, the Eds decide to create a plan to catch the serial toucher. The Eds' ingenious plan consists on Ed sitting alone on a bench in The Playground with a "Don't Touch!" sign around his neck. Whoever disobeys the sign is presumably the serial toucher. Jonny ends up falling for the trap after he lets Plank feel Ed's haircut. The Eds jump out and accuse Jonny, who is now caught in the act of being the toucher. Jonny runs for his life in an attempt to escape the Eds capture. After a lengthy chase through The Lane, Jonny is tripped and captured by the Eds.

The scene changes to the shed in the back of Edd's House where the Eds have created a lie detector machine and are interrogating Jonny over the missing items; however, Jonny is completely oblivious to the crime. After getting no answers from Jonny, Eddy decides to interrogate Plank. No response comes from Plank. After smacking the board and getting a handful of splinters (as well as Double D's lie detector declaring whatever Plank said is true), Eddy decides to use the Chinese Water Torture on Plank by using a water pistol. The sound of the dripping water only makes Jonny want to use the bathroom. Jonny then falsely confesses to the crime because it was the only way the Eds would let him use the bathroom.

Later, the Eds have collected their money and punished Jonny by trapping him in a tire. Their joyous journey to The Candy Store is interrupted when Sarah then claims she found her dolly under her bed and Edd actually came across his magnifying glass some time ago, proving once and for all that there was no serial toucher and that Jonny is innocent. However, they still decide to spend the profit on jawbreakers without giving a refund or setting Jonny free. Sarah initiates a strategy to get revenge by rolling Jonny's tire down a hill and towards the Eds at the Candy Store, where the tire hits all three of the Eds, causing their jawbreakers to fly out of their mouths and roll down the street. The episode ends with the Eds chasing their jawbreakers into the sunset.

Memorable Quotes

 * Ed: "Hey, Jonny, nice haircut. Double-D has a surprise for you: A lie detector!"

Eddy: [talking to Plank] "You must be the brains, huh? Plank: "..." Eddy: "Where's the stuff, Planky? Fess up!" Plank: "..." Eddy: "Oh, silent, huh?" [Eddy smacks Plank] Eddy: "AAAHHHHH! SPLINTERS!!!"
 * Eddy: "Well, if you won't talk, maybe your friend will!"

Eddy: "You heard him, boys!" [snaps his fingers] "Case closed!"
 * Jonny: "OK, OK! I did it! I took everybody's stuff! Now let me go, I gotta go to the bathroom!"

Jimmy: "It's true. Won't someone help us?"
 * Sarah: "That dirty toucher took my dolly poo-poo!"

Jonny: "Whoa, you guys are weird!" [Jonny runs off, Edd and Eddy pursue to chase him]
 * Eddy: "Aha! Dr. Toucher, I presume!"


 * Eddy: "You got to love these family moments."

Ed: "Yeah, Eddy?" Eddy: "As much as I love the smell of your stinking pits...CAN YOU LET GO OF MY HEAD NOW!?"
 * Eddy: "Ed?"

Eddy: "Nah! You know what they say: a little childhood trauma builds character."
 * Edd: "Should we feel guilty about Jonny's predicament?"

Eddy: "Maybe you've misplaced it." Edd: [accidentally shoved Eddy backwards] "NEVER! What has become of this world? Is nothing sacred? No? everything is soiled! Who would do such a thing? Who would violate the sanctity of someone's room WITH THEIR FILTHY HANDS!? I feel sick! I feel nauseous! I CAN'T BREATHE!" [Eddy grabs the bed and slams it over his head] "Thank you. I...needed that." Eddy: "Anytime, pal."
 * Edd: [ranting about his missing magnifying glass] "EEEEDDDDY! Someone took my magnifying glass. I feel so violated."

Trivia/Goofs

 * This episode marks the first appearance of the Eds and the Kids. (The Kankers appear in the next episode.)
 * There is a game on cartoonnetwork.com with the same title. However, the game is more based on the episode Dawn of the Eds than The Ed-Touchables.
 * The Movie made a final tie-in to this episode where Edd is seen labeling a blank black screen with the words, "The End" (afterwords the credits scroll), connecting the beginning with what is believed to be the end of the series. Edd also made labels to organize things throughout the movie, mirroring what he does in this episode.
 * When Eddy spoke into the traffic cone, the red stripe on his shirt is missing. This error happens again in Sir Ed-a-Lot.
 * At the scene where The Kids just about to warn everyone about the Serial Toucher, when you can see the kids playing, Sarah's hair turns red from its normal color.
 * In all of the scenes where Jimmy is seen, prior to Sarah rolling Jonny down the hill, he has a plaster on his nose. When he is seen in his last scene, he then has a bandage on his head instead of his nose.
 * When Jonny said that Ed had a haircut, this hints that Ed possibly used to have longer hair before the show debuted. This is proven in Over Your Ed when Ed's hair is styled and is shown to be ginger.
 * When Jonny is tied to the chair during the Ed's interrogation of him, he appears to be wearing a sweater instead of his usual T-shirt.
 * When Edd begins to talk to his skull, it is very reminiscent of Shakespeare's Hamlet, picking up a skull and saying: "Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio—". This may be a reference, or maybe Edd is imitating Shakespeare deliberately to get over the shock of losing his magnifying glass.
 * When Edd has his nervous breakdown over losing his magnifying glass, he is standing next to his desk. Then, without moving, he starts breaking down in the middle of his room away from his desk.
 * In the scenes in Edd's room, the color of the labels on Edd's items change from white to the color of what they identify.
 * When the Eds are chasing Jonny, Eddy's shirt changes from yellow to orange. Then when they jump over the fence, it's back to yellow.
 * What appears to be bad designing is clear throughout the first few episodes of the series. A clear example of this is Edd's House, whose blue color goes beyond its boundaries. In reality, this was an intentional reference to older cartoons, which had general blocks of color for background objects that kids "never pay attention to".
 * When Edd tells Eddy to put the labels back in place, he places a label entitled "chair" onto his desk chair. In the next shot, when Edd prepares to label the missing magnifying glass, the chair is no longer labeled. Quite alike, the pillow is labeled when it appears first, but it's mislabeled later.
 * In this episode, jawbreakers cost a nickel, but for some strange reason, jawbreakers cost a quarter for the rest of the series. It is possible that "costs a nickel" is just a phrase meaning that the jawbreakers were cheap. In Dawn of the Eds, Double D mentions that the exchange rates have changed, increasing the cost of jawbreakers.
 * This features the first appearance of the Candy Store.
 * Edd has a more raspy voice when later in seasons 2-6 it is higher-pitched and clearer.
 * Shortly after Sarah attacked Ed, Edd has hearts in his eyes while talking to Sarah, hinting a possible crush.
 * When Edd was telling Sarah that someone touched his magnifying glass, everyone is lying down on the floor. In the next shot, everybody is standing.
 * Edd's House makes its first appearance in the series, outside and inside.
 * This is the only time we see something on Ed's TV other than Fishbowl II, static, or nothing. Look closely and you can see a flaming skull and a skeleton whirling around the screen. It's also the only time we see any of one of Ed's B movies.
 * Edd uses a "Lite-Brite" board during Jonny's interrogation.
 * Cartoon Network often mistakes Pop Goes the Ed as the first episode (as seen in the Best Day Edder marathon, season 1 DVD, and cartoonnetwork.com) but this episode was the first to air, making it the true first episode.
 * When Edd showed Eddy the bunny slippers, Eddy referred Edd as "Edd" and also after he cleaned him with a vacuum. Eddy has never referred Edd by his real name in any further episodes unless it's part of a nickname.
 * When Edd's face gets smashed in the window when he and Eddy were going to Ed's house he has 3 fingers, but then has has 4 fingers through the rest of the episode.
 * When Eddy puts the toilet label on Edd's bed, the label was white. Then, a few seconds later, the label was a tan color.

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