Rolf

"Rolf's eyes fool the brain of Rolf!"

- Rolf

Rolf is an immigrant from a curious and possibly fictional (probably European) culture labeled "The Old Country", speculated to be in Norway. Most evidence was found in the episode, "No Speak Da Ed". He is familiar with a trickster named Gerta, and lived near him/her. During flashbacks it shows him being chased by what appears to be Gerta in a wolf costume. He has a thick foreign accent to match. He works on his parents' small farm within the Cul-de-Sac and leads a scouting group called the Urban Rangers, a Boy Scout-like group which includes Jimmy, Plank and Jonny. Rolf often refers to himself in third person, as well as being the son of a shepherd, in which he takes pride. He hardly minds the Eds unless they make a fool out of him or insult his culture, after which he is not afraid to use brute force. When his superhuman strength is unleashed, it rivals Ed's; however, it should be considered that he is the second strongest character in the show, since he is seen lifting a tree with difficulty while Ed can lift a house single handed. Rolf's strength depends on his mood rather than his biology.

Rolf confuses the rest of the kids with his unusual customs and food-making. He is one of the few characters who gets respect from all the kids, but his best friend is Kevin and he relates well with Jonny, being an outsider, too. He is also exceptionally hairy and, although he has not revealed his age, he claims the hair is premature. He has a strong liking for meat and, when he agreed to a bet to not eat meat for a whole day, he became extremely malnourished and had severely lost his muscle tone almost instantly, not even having enough strength to open the cafeteria door or bite through celery. Nobody except himself and his family knows what country he is from but, as every single thing that's linked to him is known, he is most likely from Eastern Europe; however, this country he comes from is apparently fictional (though it may be Scandinavian in origin).

Background
Rolf's background is based upon creator Danny Antonucci's childhood as the son of Italian immigrants. During an interview he said the following: "... Rolf is me and all of my cousins. My parents were right off the boat so I grew up playing to two worlds, the modern world and the 1950s Italian world. My parents like Rolf's lived - still live in the past, with strong traditions and strange cooking and having a hard time assimilating to modern life."

When questioned about the mysterious location of Rolf's home country, Danny replied: "Yeah, I purposely made Rolf with a non-nationality, especially after what happened with Lupo when we were accused of painting Italians in a bad light. But Rolf is me, take his proverbs - my family were always coming out with the strange proverbial stuff that only made sense to them and other family members. His vocabulary is always interesting, I've actually browsed through the dictionary sometimes looking for words he might use, we came in for some flak with 'jujubes' though, people were asking what on earth that meant, but its there, you know what they are right? Leaving Rolf with no set nationality means he's able to adopt all sorts of quirks he couldn't get away with if we'd stuck a label on him. Its the same with Peach Creek Estates, its not anywhere specific, its just one of those countless suburban development regions."

Personality
Hailing from an unknown country presumably located somewhere in Eastern Europe, Rolf is a hard-working, jolly, fun-loving, friendly, but also fearsome and strange character who has the respect from almost everyone in the Cul-De-Sac.

Rolf values hard work and most often he can be found working on his parents' small farm, doing all sorts of chores, from the menial, ordinary chores, such as tending to the animals, planting seeds etc., to the downright strange. It is because of this frequent display of labor that Rolf has strength that rivals Ed's, though his strength, while impressive, is no match for Ed's, as Rolf can only use it when he is angry, while Ed's strength is a part of his biology. Even when angry his strength still does not seem to be of the same intensity or level as Ed's. Though he often works and takes great pride in his achievements, he describes his youth, back in The Old Country as being "lazy" and "good for nothing" and it is possible that he does some of the chores out of fear, as he once mentioned, that if his chores are not finished, he will be "banished to the cupboard". This is one of the reasons the Urban Rangers exist: to do all sorts of chores around the Cul-De-Sac and to "become the masters of the mundane" as Rolf puts it. They are a boy scout-type organization that has existed for over fifty years and they are specialists when it comes to chores, for which they earn badges. Aside from the menial chores, they often take camping trips to the woods in order to win camping badges.

Rolf has also numerous times shown a type of honor system, most notably in the episode "Dueling Eds". Of course, growing up listening to fantastic stories about heroes and battles, it is no wonder that Rolf grew up in to a man who gives credit where credit is due. Dishonoring someone from Rolf's country will result in a duel with dead fish as weapons, while balancing on a tree above a deep chasm. If the man who has dishonored the other man falls down in to the chasm, the honor of the dishonored is restored, not just to him, but to his ancestors as well, thus meaning that if just one member of a family has been shamed, dishonored or otherwise been disrespected, the credibility of the entire family is at stake. This is so deep that it even has supernatural properties: right after the "duel" begins, the alley was surrounded by heavy clouds that only vanished when Rolf (easily) defeated Eddy. The duel can be prevented beforehand if the one who has offended brings to the man he offended "The Cupcakes of Sorriness" and then they must accept "The Eels of Forgiveness" down their trousers. Rolf has claimed that those worthy of the most respect are village buffoons and barbers, the latter of which he aspires to be.

He is also a prideful person, taking pride in numerous things, most notably him being the son of a shepherd, his hard work and its achievements and him winning the covetous and most difficult of the Urban Ranger badges: the Hairy Chest Of Resilience Badge. His pride in part might explain his illeism, that is, him referring to himself in third person, though this could also be as a result of his handling of the English language.

Rolf also seems to be the oldest child in the Cul-De-Sac and in some ways acts more maturely when compared the rest of the kids and in appearance (excluding the vast amount of body hair, which he claims to be premature) he also appears to be the tallest out of all the kids in the Cul-De-Sac. That is mostly because he grew up in a very different environment that the other kids, surrounded by a radically different lifestyle.

Even though he is a hard-working individual, he is also a fun-loving person and, when not working or hanging out with the rest of the kids, he can be found having a warm drink by the fireplace or having some candied beats or meat. His jollyness is best shown in the Season 3 episode "Wish You Were Ed" in which he is shown dancing to a particularly violent song called "That's My Horse" in which the two dancers say the line and than proceed to hit each other with their hands (or anything they can get their hands on, for that matter, such as a barrel, a wheelbarrow, and so on). Despite it being very painful, Rolf and Ed enjoy it very much and Double D at one point even describes it as a "delightfully barbaric dance". He also owns an accordion, which the song is played on.

His many confusing customs have flabbergasted the rest of the Cul-De-Sac kids to no end. The many strange foods (such as fish balls and other assorted aquatic creatures and various meats), celebrations, activities and holidays (Yeshmiyek, kissing someone under a well-fermented yak instead of a mistletoe in Christmas time, synchronized swimming, hanging and spinning upside down from a tire suspended by a long red and white striped pole, etc.), clothes (a vest made from his father's back hair), stories (The battle between his Great Nano and a Giant Sea Cucumber) and so on.

An odd thing about Rolf is that in "Fa-La-La-La-Ed", he knows about Christmas like every one else, but in Ed, Edd n Eddy's Jingle Jingle Jangle, he has no idea about Christmas.

Rolf has, on numerous occasions, shown his sorrow and longing for his Old Country, most prominently featured in the episode "Wish You Were Ed". Rolf is easily confused by the modern world and its "cold cement, wasted steel of industry, confusing leisure delights" and the Cul-De-Sac's "customs" and that he "sweats himself to understand" our "modern go-go world" and often recalls his childhood days in The Old Country, his voyage to America in a canoe made from leather shoes, which will prompt him to talk for hours about his Great Nano. In the episode "A Town Called Ed", Rolf, in a way, seems to have accepted the "confusing leisure delights" and simply goes along with them. When Kevin invites him over to his house to watch monster trucks Rolf, somewhat nonchalantly, proclaims "Very well; Rolf will include himself, once again, in sharing yet another one of your menial customs and all the time wonder why". It might seem that Rolf has finally accepted his new, to him strange, home.

Old Rolf
In the future, Old Rolf seems to have become senile and somewhat near-sighted, as he confuses Eddy for many other characters (He confused Eddy for Kevin, Nazz and also Jonny). He has grown a long, white beard and has gotten a hunchback. He seems to have forgotten that his tractor is for sale (yelling "ROLF'S TRACTOR IS NOT FOR SALE!" at Eddy). He also has an eye patch on his left eye for an unknown reason.

Young Rolf
During the episode "No Speak Da Ed", Rolf is seen as a young boy. He has a bucktooth, wears overalls and a yellow shirt. He has shepherding responsibilities as a toddler. One of his sheep was attacked by a wolf man and that memory stuck to him for the rest of his life.

Family

 * Mother
 * Father - a mighty Shepard known to tend to his sheep daily and has been known to have a hairy back.
 * Nana - a seriously disfigured woman known to have a wooden leg and be mistaken as "that large hairy beast eating all the dip."
 * One-Eyed Great Nana - Rolf's deceased Great Grandmother that Rolf introduces as "That beast looks like my one eyed great Nana, she was such a sweet woman, always bumping into things." It was revealed that she died right before or during Rolf's family moving to Peach Creek.
 * Great Nano - Rolf's deceased Great Grandfather.

Distant Cousins

 * Bastian
 * Yonick

Livestock

 * 3 Pigs, one of which is named Wilfred
 * 4 Goats, one of which is named Victor
 * 2 Cows, one of which is named Beatrice
 * Hundreds, possibly thousands of Chickens (most of which seen during his chicken drive in Don't Rain on My Ed), one named Gertrude, another Laggard, and the other Bridget.
 * About 2 dozen Sheep, one called Fluffy
 * Many Rabbits
 * A Clam named Bobo
 * Blowfishes
 * Several Eels

Produce and animal products

 * Sugar beets (a.k.a. "Candied Beets")
 * Eggplants
 * Radishes
 * Cucumbers
 * Carrots
 * Turnips
 * Squash
 * Potatoes
 * Yams
 * Meat
 * Milk
 * Eggs
 * Cheese
 * Octopus
 * Squid
 * Parsley
 * Fish
 * Plums
 * Stuffed pig's head
 * His Nana's Sea Cucumber Balls
 * Melons

Weird Things
It's known in his home land that there are a lot of hero stories, fights, famous people and unbelievable stuff that have been in his childhood. For example, when he was little, a man in a wolf costume tried to steal and eat his sheep. He has also witnessed a giant Swedish meatball stalking Wilfred in the dead of night. Another strange tale is the story of how his Great Nano crossed the ocean paddling in a canoe made from the soles of his shoes while fighting a Giant Sea Cucumber in an attempt to immigrate to (presumably) Canada. He claims the Giant Sea Cucumber stared at him like a sandwich and that they had to swallow it. Because the Great Nano, who had one eye, was lost at sea in this battle, Rolf would dress in a tight-fitting sea cucumber suit and prepare a box of sea cucumber balls for the neighbors to feast, but was offended by Eddy when he threw one of these balls once. Also, around the holidays, Rolf's family worships a woman named Yeshmiyek who supposedly lives in the center of the Earth preparing the holiday feast for good males and females. Rolf also celebrates the guardian pigeon. Another thing Rolf does is dueling: he would dig a hole and make a bridge of a tree and then he would put on a war-like suit with a ox skull on it and battle his enemy with dead stiff fish.

Rolf and the Cursed Phone
In Rolf's family, it has been known that they have been given a telephone known as the Curse Phone or the Telephone of Doom. In each generation, Rolf's family is cursed for no exact reason. When the phone was given to Rolf, he decided to bury it so no one could be threatened by the curse again. It was later stolen by Eddy who (after finding out the curse) gave it to Jonny but even when Jonny has it Eddy is still affected by the curse (even if Plank is the one who is answering the phone) quite possibly showing that the curse only affects the first person to answer it. This, however, does not explain why Rolf isn't affected when Plank or even Eddy answers it, though it could be possible that Rolf never answered the phone, thus explaining his avoiding the curse. It is possible that Rolf wasn't affected because as he was burying the phone, he was throwing salt on it from a salt shaker strapped to his head

Rolf/Wolf Rivalry
The Rolf/Wolf Rivalry is a rivalry revealed in the episode "No Speak Da Ed". When Rolf was a little boy in his old country, a man with a wolf mask (that could quite possibly be a werewolf) would steal Rolf's father's flock of sheep. Rolf finally fought back, despite his fears, in order to save a sheep (possibly his favorite in the flock). Apparently, the whole experience was so traumatic for Rolf that it left a mental scar on his already jacked up mind. Rolf dug a secret lair under his shed, in case of the wolf's return and even created a throne and walkway out of stone in said lair. He filled the lair with sheep and decorated it with sheep-related objects and banners. Rolf's insanity brought on by the wolf caused him to go insane, the lair becoming a representation of his apparent cult-driven hatred. The cult, in question, consists of only Rolf himself. Not a very big roster. Over the years, Rolf's mental scar continued to haunt him, driving his hatred to levels so high that it almost became more of a religious belief than hatred. By the time Gerta started sending Ed wolf-related objects, Rolf's hatred was at its peak.

Quotes
Eddy: [lounging on a chair placed on top of a tree stump] "What's up, Stretch?" Rolf: "Do you like being a guest at the house of Rolf and, you know, make lazy on Rolf's stump?" Eddy: "Whaddya' kidding? It's great." Ed: [passes by being trailed behind cow, captures Rolf's attention] "I'm a cowboy! Bang! Bang!" Rolf: [deadpan] "A burden has been placed on Rolf." "Rambling Ed"
 * Rolf: "Ed Boy…"

"Momma's Little Ed"
 * Rolf: "Hello, Ed Boys. Why must you spoil Wilfred with this lavish monkey suit? This will only leave him to search for a life as an airline steward."

"An Ed in the Bush"
 * Rolf: "Very impressive, Ed Boy. It is a shame you fail with such disgrace at your pitiful attempt to prove your sorry and feeble effort at becoming an Urban Ranger."

"One of Those Eds"
 * Rolf: [enraged after getting a back injury on Eddy's beds scam] "Ed Boys! Your mattress has ruptured Rolf's tail bone! Who is in charge of this double-crossing slumber flim-flammery?!"

"Pick an Ed"
 * Rolf: [referring to his grade on a school assignment] "This alphabet F confounds Rolf to no end! Phooey! Rolf would not line Wilfred's plumbing pit with such dribble."

Rolf: "Rolf smells the scent of mountain sprites come to make mischief among us." Ed, Edd n Eddy's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo
 * [Rolf is drinking water at the water fountain at school, the cupids pass by, Rolf stops drinking water]

Rolf: "Again! These mountain nymphs haunt Rolf no more!" Kevin: "You're wack, dude." Ed, Edd n Eddy's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo
 * [Rolf, Kevin, and Nazz interacting with their lockers, cupids pass by, Rolf senses them]

Jimmy (Cupid): "Ooops, we missed one, Cupid Sarah." Rolf: [jumps up on a table] "Rolf awaits your response!" [the cupids fire arrows, Rolf blocks them with the mop and then bangs it into the table and the arrows falls off] "You tickle Rolf's radish." Ed, Edd n Eddy's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo
 * Rolf: "Begone! Cursed underlings of Valhalla!"

Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show
 * Rolf: "Shed tears no more, fuss-bucket Nazz girl. Rolf will unearth the Ed Boys like the parasite that infects Wilfred's tuchus! This is Rolf's word! …Dawg!"

Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show
 * Rolf: "Wilfred! You interrupt Rolf's study! Do you think this is party time for 1999? NO!"

"Out with the Old, In with the Ed"
 * Rolf: [talking about school to the Eds] "The days of reckoning are upon us, half naked Ed boys, for it is here that we will be mercilessly judged".

Eddy: "What's happening, Rolf?" [Rolf slams head into the ground] Rolf: "I cannot hear you. I am invisible. Goodbye. I have gone to the market..." "Ed-n-Seek"
 * Rolf: "Hello, Eddy!"

"Run for your Ed"
 * Rolf: [sniffs the air; talking about the Kankers' hissy fit] "The stench of immortal doom still thickens the air, yes? Or, perhaps it is Wilfred's cabbage evacuations? Hard to tell."

Trivia/Goofs

 * Rolf has the same color clothing scheme as Eddy, a yellow shirt with a red stripe, light blue pants and red shoes.
 * Rolf is usually friendly towards the Eds at the first time in the episode he meets them. After all, he will at unexpected times seek them for assistance. In Scrambled Ed, he asks Edd for a solution to getting rid of the lobsters and leaks in his garden. In Too Smart for His Own Ed, he asks Ed for help on his homework. In Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed, he wants Ed's help to stomp on raspberries. In Who's Minding the Ed?, he asks Ed to look after his farm animals while he is at his big-family union which has ended disastrously, which Rolf didn't care about.
 * Rolf owns an accordion and is able to play it exceptionally well, as revealed in the episode "Key to My Ed".
 * He is also known to own a unicycle, as shown in "Avast Ye Eds" and "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed".
 * Like Ed, Rolf has a unibrow, but it is thinner and therefore less noticeable than Ed's.
 * Rolf likes Kevin, but (formerly in the Big Picture Show) fears Eddy's Brother, because he fears Eddy's Brother will steal his chickens.
 * Rolf is apparently good at basketball; as he states in "A Pinch to Grow an Ed", he is capable of making up to five baskets in a row.
 * If you notice, Rolf has a rival who is a wolf, yet ironically, Rolf is only one letter away from being wolf (if you replace the "R" with a "W"). Interestingly, "Rolf" means "wolf" in some Scandinavian dialects.
 * Like Marie, Rolf's hair color is blue.
 * Rolf also tends to address himself as a "son of a shepherd."
 * Most mad, dangerous, or craziest times: Rolf is at his most dangerous when someone harms or steals his livestock, when someone has besmirched his family and his traditions (such as the throwing of the Fish ball), or when he does not eat any meat (as seen in the episode "All Eds Are Off").
 * Rolf has green teeth, but in "Read All About Ed", a few other episodes, and the game Cul-de-Sac Smash 2: Wheels of Fury, they are white.
 * Rolf has had a major role in two specials, Ed, Edd n Eddy's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo and "The Eds are Coming".
 * Rolf is the first boss in Ed, Edd n Eddy - Jawbreakers who Edd must face. Rolf needs to be hit 2-7 times to win.
 * Danny Antonucci said in an interview that Rolf was his favorite character.
 * Rolf has blue hair on his back, as shown in "Take This Ed and Shove It".
 * Although he is afraid of cameras, he willingly posed for a shot in "Is There an Ed in the House?".
 * Rolf's voice actor Peter Kelamis also voices Goku in Dragon Ball Z.