Know it All Ed

"Know it All Ed" is a season 2 episode of Ed, Edd n Eddy, in which the Eds discover a box of "Canadian Squirt Guns".

Plot
The Eds are larging it at the dump again and after some futile horn blowing and the odd bit of dog piling they chance upon a big box of abandoned turkey basters … except of course they're not turkey basters at all, they're aliens exploratory probes … or then again they could be Canadian squirt guns. Either way, they spell out one thing to Eddy - CASH - he thinks everyone should have one of these babies!

After a bit of the usual Eddy sales spiel and a lot of flannel, everyone in the cul-de-sac soon does have one and it's not long before the whole place has gone squirt-gun toting crazy. Pioneers move in from the plains in their wagons and the big guys beat on the little guys - it's anarchy and seeing an opportunity to cash in - yet again - Marshall Eddy and his Posse swagger into town to administer heavy justice and heavier fines in their own inimitable and biased way. However when Pioneer Jonny is ambushed by the Kanker Sisters, the Marshall begins to feel he's bitten off more than he can chew and a battle commences. Will the Eds triumph and come up smelling of roses or will victory bear the not so subtle tang of Krankshaft No.5?

Memorable Quotes

 * Eddy [seeing Double D try to make sounds out of the giant tube]: "Boy Double D, you stink. Let a pro show you."
 * Edd: "Certainly Eddy."
 * Eddy: "It's all in the technique, Sockhead. Pure talent." [Eddy tries to make a sound through the tube, screws up] "Wrong technique. Slight adjustment and..." [Eddy tries it again, but Ed blew into the tube, making an inflatable Eddy]
 * Ed: "I am a whale, Eddy. An endangered mammal. Hug me."
 * Eddy: "You can't be a whale unless you have a spout! Hahaha!" [Eddy pushes the giant tube up Ed's head, causing difficulties for Ed to get out] "Hahaha!" [Eddy charges up to a garbage mound] "I'm the king of the castle and you're a dirty--"
 * Ed and Edd: "DOGPILE!"


 * Ed: "Canadians are weird!"

Eddy: [looking at Edd with surprise] "I think that eyebrow's too heavy for his head." Edd: "Actually, they look like turkey basters."
 * Ed: [looking at the turkey basters] "Oh look! A whole box of alien exploratory probes, dropped off in an attempt to save fuel during a mutiny of pulsing brain mutants."
 * Eddy: "Yeah right, Double D. A turkey baster?"
 * Ed [resembling as a vampire with two turkey basters in his mouth as fangs]: "I must have flesh, let me bite your--" [Eddy pushes Ed] "What we have here is a squirt gun."
 * Edd: "Please, a squirt gun?"

Eddy: "Double D! Double D! Relax, will ya? It’s a toy - from Canada - geez, how embarrassing."
 * Edd: [freaking out with his powerful weapon] "Oh, I feel it! I feel the adrenaline, Eddy baby!"
 * Edd [relieving his freak out]: "Oh."
 * Eddy [realizing he's out-of-ammo]: "Huh?" [squeezes his squirt guns; only puns came out]
 * Lee: "Are you through?" [all three Kankers standing there intact]
 * Edd [concerning about the outcome]: "We missed every shot."
 * Lee [preparing to fire]: "We won't."
 * The Kankers [all three Kankers fire at once on to the ground]: "Dance cowboys!"
 * Eddy: "Forget your glasses at home? You only got our feat wet."
 * Marie: "It's our Kanker rubber cement, check again dead-eye."
 * Edd: "It feels as if we're in Ed's basement."
 * Eddy: "We're trapped!"
 * Lee: "Time for some home-cooking." [all three Kankers approach to kiss the Eds]
 * The Eds: "Not home! Not home!"


 * Ed: [appreciatively sniffing the perfumed Plank] "Plank reminds me of fresh cut spring flowers strewn across a babbling brook with a hint of lemon."

Ed: "Oh no, something ate my head."
 * Eddy: "Attack the lump!"


 * Eddy: "Okay, Kank-" [Makes a gesture for the other two Eds to come into the open] "Okay, Kankers. I'm calling you out!"


 * Ed: "I'm a moose, Double D."


 * Lee: "I love a man in uniform."


 * Ed: "COOKIES AND MILK!"

Trivia

 * The donkey in the title card would be reading a book called "DE'.
 * When Eddy says the line, "Twenty-five cents or twenty-five days in the pokey!" Edd corrects this statement (which in the process breaks the fourth wall) by saying, "Wrong cartoon". The cartoon Edd was referring to is Hannah Barbara's Quick-Draw McGraw.
 * The rotating squirt gun machine Double D uses is a parody of a Gatling gun.
 * When the squirt gun stand fell apart, the writing on the 50 cents sign turns red for one second.
 * The Kankers had purple perfume in The Eds squirt guns, but when Lee said "And who's gonna help him?" they are shown with water. After that, when the Kankers are about to squirt the Eds, they have orange liquid in their squirt guns.
 * It seems that Krankshaft No.5 is The Kanker Sisters favorite perfume.
 * When everyone was paying Marshall Eddy their fines, someone had put half a button into the money jar.
 * The tie that Ed wears in this episode is later seen in "Dear Ed" with Eddy wearing it.
 * It is unknown how Plank got his make-up and perfume off.
 * Throughout the episode, The Eds made comments about Canada, the birthplace of AKA Cartoon.
 * Kevin is dressed like a Mexican bounty hunter in this episode.
 * It is unknown why the squirt guns were missing when the Kankers took Eddy's jar of money. Perhaps the Kankers snatched the squirt guns when nobody was looking. But later, after the Kankers sprayed the Eds with the Krankshaft perfume, they reappeared.

Video
This clip was provided by ShortestElephantEver on youtube.

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