The Old Country

The Old Country is a place referred to by Rolf in many episodes. It is most likely a reference to many European cultures with odd customs like a lot of hero stories, fights, famous people, numerous sayings using food and household items along with other unbelievable stuff. The passing of the goat is a stable export of this country.

Customs
-Foot=pace -Yard=goat Once upon a time, an ugly boy was through out of his village, and hit his melon on a tree. The boy gazed up and was amazed at the many beautiful heads growing from the branches. After many trys he found one that fit and he ran back to his village. he became very popular. HAIRLESS OTTER: I must eat chicken! SHEPHERD: (appears with a rifle) Hey you bag of flesh! (rifle fires) HAIRLESS OTTER: You have missed! (hairless otter eats shepherd) END
 * You are to be hit in the head with the hat of discipline to be forgiven of a misdoing.
 * A clam is considered a pet
 * A typical family sits around the stove and tells stories of produce spread.
 * You may learn to ride a unicycle before a bike.
 * Philosophy: "the soil knows all."
 * use an odd system of measurement
 * It is socially accepted to eat grass
 * You may learn to stack sausages at the age of 2
 * Passing of the goat = Stable export of the country. Consists of the borrower signing a notepad several times and turning it in to the owner. In the event that the goat is not returned, you owe 2 bags of beans, 5 pigs, and a turnip.
 * You must honor you ancestors
 * It is disgraceful to play with your food.
 * A shepherd typically chews soil to test its moisture.
 * 1# sport: Shining Shoes
 * 2# sport: Synchronized Swimming
 * It is customary to give a giant sausage as a gift
 * It is a travesty to mix salami and bologna
 * It is believed that if you burn a candle at both ends, you will look for the life of a hairdresser.
 * Old World Fable
 * THE UGLY BOY AND THE TREE OF HEADS
 * Hairless Otter Dance
 * Anchovies are good, the stench is to be respected.
 * Shepherd's customary salute: Poke 3 times in head, slap back of head 3 times, then kick in back.
 * When your chores are not complete, you are banished to the cupboard.
 * Do not try a shepherd's patience.
 * Respect fast food
 * Celebrate when an idiot falls in a hole.
 * It is said that "He that cuts hair (a barber) is viewed the man among men."
 * Offering a potted plant is a sign of disrespect.

Weird Things
It's known in his home land that there are a lot of hero stories, fights, famous people, and unbelievable stuff there. a man in a wolf costume tried to steal and eat sheep. Rolf witnessed a giant Swedish meatball stalking Wilfred in the dead of night. Another strange tale is the story of how his Great Nano crossed the ocean in a canoe made from the soles of his shoes while fighting a giant sea cucumber in an attempt to immigrate to America. Because the Great Nano was lost at sea in this battle people of this culture would dress in a tight-fitting sea cucumber suit and prepare a box of sea cucumber balls for the neighbors to feast, but will be offended if someone  threw one of these balls. Also, around the holidays, this culture family worships a woman named Yeshmiyek who lives in the center of the earth preparing the holiday feast for good males and females. Rolf also celebrates the guardian pigeon. Another thing this culture does is dueling, he would dig a hole and make a bridge of a tree and then he would put on war-like suit with a ox skull on it and battle his enemy with dead stiff fish.