My Fair Ed

"My Fair Ed" is the 16th episode of Season 3 and the 68th episode of Ed, Edd n Eddy. In this episode, Edd attempts to remodel his friends into proper gentlemen after they create major problems for the other kids. It works initially at first, but it soon starts to go out of hand.

Plot
The episode begins with the Eds in Edd's kitchen, helping to bring inside and sort through some groceries. But instead of helping, Eddy and Ed begin to distract themselves and fool around with various items. Eddy then grabs a broccoli and frightens Ed away. Eddy chases Ed to the backyard breaking through Edd's screen door again.

Meanwhile, Jimmy is showing his illustration of a unicorn on a fence to Sarah. Suddenly, Ed runs by and the fence breaks down on top of the two. Ed and Eddy later rummage through Rolf's eggplant garden, break Kevin's bike and steal Plank from Jonny. Eddy catches up to Ed, but before he can forcefeed Ed, he smacks Eddy's hand with Plank and takes possession of the broccoli. Ed then chases down Eddy with the broccoli and tells him to devour it.

Meanwhile, Edd finds himself holding Plank and must face up to an angry Jonny. Then Rolf presents him an eggplant coffin, showing sadness at the loss of his crop. Sarah then reveals to Edd that his friends hurted Jimmy and ruined his painting. Kevin and Nazz are also angry at Edd for what Ed and Eddy did. Kevin declares to Edd they have had it with Eddy and Ed constantly destroying their things, so he orders Edd to make them behave and to make matters worse, Kevin rudely threatens Edd with violence if he fails (he first ties Edd's hat into the shape of a pretzel and then threatens to do it to his legs).

Later, Eddy has just tricked Ed into running around a tree chasing nothing, and even making Ed think that he's almost got a hold of Eddy. Edd then tells and shows Eddy the threat made to him. As one would expect, Eddy was unfazed by that. Thus he told Edd to tell the kids to just ignore the malevolent behavior. Edd plays his guilt trip by saying to promise to come visit him at a sideshow where Edd will be the laughingstock with pretzel legs (no salt), telling Eddy that they'll be able to function without him. Remembering the fact that Ed was a huge threat to the success of future scams, and without Edd mapping out the plans, Eddy realized he'd never get a quarter again, but he was ready with a plan. This plan would be to fake Edd out when the moment was correct, but until then keep the guise that it's in their blood to rampage, Edd happily accepts Eddy's "plea" for help, not realizing what he would get himself into much later. Ed is still seen merrily running around the tree, chasing nothing at all.

Later in Edd's house, Ed and Eddy are waiting for Edd's mother soup being prepared. Eddy and Ed are shown with bandages on the back of their heads and they jokingly question each other on why they are wearing the bandages. Edd arrives with food for Eddy and Ed. The latter two then start chanting, "Food!" over and over, prompting Edd to rip off the first bandage on their heads. Eddy ask what that was for. Edd gives both the bowls of food to his friends and states that is to remind them of their manners. Eddy then puts his spoon in his soup and states he thought he and Ed were going to eat food, not bury it. Edd states his mother made that soup and he then rips the second bandage on Eddy's head off. Ed then laughs at Eddy's pain, and this gets Edd to rip off the second bandage off on Ed's head, too (but not before Edd tells him it is not polite to make fun of someone else's misfortune). When Edd has his back turned, Eddy rips off the third bandage on Ed's head, and this in turn causes Edd to rip off Eddy's third bandage ripped too.

Ed and Eddy believe that to be the end, but Edd still has more sticky bandages where those three came from. After being told to begin eating his soup, Eddy tries to threaten Edd with violence, but after seeing Edd's hand in the air, Eddy does this equation in his head: Edd's hand + sticky bandage torn off = huge amount of pain, and to avoid this, Eddy begins consuming the soup with no complaints on it. Ed has two bandages ripped off in one shot because Ed refused to regurgitate the bowl. Ed apologizes saying it won't happen again after this. After Eddy finishes his soup, he leaves to put his bowl and spoon away, Edd stops him and states he better not do anything mischievous in his kitchen, but Eddy denies that and states that is all in the past. Ed finishes his food and the two of them leave to clean up their dishes and do more good deeds.

Edd is well chuffed as it's a joy for him to see Eddy and Ed have become model citizens that are kind, courteous and very helpful. Jonny is then shown trying to his kite out of a tree, but it is stuck tight to the tree. Jonny soon gives up and lays himself and Plank down on the tree. Edd and Eddy pass by and greet Jonny. Jonny is surprised Eddy is being polite. Edd soon arrives and greets Jonny. Ed then asks why is he sad and Jonny explains why. Ed then proceeds to get Jonny's kite down, but he destroys it in the process before giving it back to Jonny. Jonny, in an angry and sarcastic tone, then states "Thanks a lot!".

Rolf is then shown unhappily washing his Nano's finery until Eddy arrives to do it for him. Rolf asks what is he up to, but Eddy states he is not up to anything as he is a new guy. Edd then explains everything to Rolf. Rolf states that is very good, but Eddy then suddenly takes Rolf and washes him up after cleaning up the finery. Edd asks Eddy what is he doing and Eddy states he is giving Rolf a hand and claims that he can smell him from a mile away. Realizing Eddy is relapsing, Edd tries to pull off one of the bandages on Eddy's head to make him come to his senses, but no luck. Eddy then continues what he is doing much faster and states "Oops! Must have missed a spot!"

Edd is shocked that Ed and Eddy are taking their good behavior too seriously. He then sees Ed brushing Kevin's teeth against his will and Eddy tying Jimmy's hair and retainer to his shoelaces while tying his shoes. Edd tries to help Jimmy before being interrupted by Rolf who is angry that he is wet. Rolf then states, "Rolf was the son of a shepherd. Now Rolf's the posterior of a duck!". Nazz then arrives with a bag on her head and says, "You don't want to know what they did to me!". Jonny comes out and says he is sick just thinking about what the two did. Sarah, holding Jimmy, says "Someone is going to pay for this!" and Kevin angrily says, "I hate dorks!" After avoiding the kids, Edd tries to get Eddy and Ed to return to normal by snapping his fingers, but it doesn't work. Ed and Eddy then leave to continue doing their good deeds leaving Edd depressed with what he did to Ed and Eddy.

Edd is then shown unhappily sitting on the steps of his house. Ed and Eddy arrive and the latter asks if they can be of any assistance. Edd just wants his friends back and ignores them, However after giggling a bit, they confess they've been having him on all along with their "good" deeds. Edd is angry that they have tricked him like this and leaves. While they laugh their heads off. Edd suddenly comes back with broccoli as revenge for toying with his emotions. Ed and Eddy run away from it, but Ed accidentally destroys Kevin's Bike in the process. Better hide from Kevin, Edd! (Edd pleads for mercy while hiding in his house with Kevin having one of his bike pedals behind his back to hurt Edd with. Kevin even claims he has something for Edd when approaching the door.)

Memorable Quotes

 * Ed: [in the background] "If only we had a sack of potatoes."

Eddy: [annoyed] "Yeah? Well I say you're an idiot!" Edd: "Gentlemen, please! Have you two lost your senses? You could have bruised my bananas!"
 * Ed: "I say tomato."

Ed: "For free lunch from Double D, Eddy McGee!" [both laugh hysterically] Eddy: "Again, Ed. Why?" Ed: "Because Double D said so, Eddy the… uh, I don't know!" [both laugh more] Eddy: "You're a riot, Ed!" Ed: [seeing Edd coming with two bowls] "FOOD!" ''[Ed and Eddy then chant "FOOD!" to no end until Edd yanks out a bandage from both of their heads]''
 * Eddy: "Tell me again, Ed! Why are we wearing these bandages on our heads?"


 * Ed: [running away from the broccoli] "Stay away, fluffy green stalky thing!"


 * Rolf: [showing Edd an eggplant in its coffin] "Double D Ed-boy, look! Shed a tear for the once proud eggplant, its round and supple life trampled by your noodle-headed playfellows!"


 * Edd: [has his hat tied in a bow by Kevin and has been threatened to have his legs tied the same way] "Very well then, but promise me you'll visit me at the sideshows. I'll be the boy with the pretzel legs – no salt."


 * Edd: [after he forces Ed to remove the bowl and spoon from his mouth] "Ed, let this be a lesson to you – never ingest the tableware."


 * Rolf: [scrubbing his Nano's clothing in a bucket] "'Rolf wash this, Rolf wash that.' Why must Rolf remove the foul from Nano's finery?"


 * Jimmy: [in pain after Eddy tied his (Jimmy's) hair and retainer to his shoes] "I'm getting stretch marks!"


 * Rolf: [getting Edd's attention after being vigorously scrubbed by Eddy along with Nano's underwear] "Rolf was the son of a shepherd, now Rolf is the posterior of a duck!"

Edd: "My mother made that soup." [yanks a band aid from the back of Eddy's head] Eddy: "Yow!"
 * Eddy: "What a load of… What is this slop, anyways? I thought we're gonna eat something, not bury it."

Ed: [tosses Plank away] "Gee Eddy I'm sorry! [the broccoli lands on Ed's hand] Ah ha!" Eddy: [while holding his injured hand] "Ah!" Ed: [while chasing Eddy] "Devour the broccoli Eddy!"
 * Eddy: "Gotcha! Prepare to scarf the- [Ed smacks Eddy's hand with Plank sending the broccoli flying into the air] Youch! [as Ed smacks Eddy's hand using Plank] That hurt Ed."

Trivia/Goofs

 * The episode's title is a reference to the famous musical "My Fair Lady", in which a distinguished professor tries to pass off a Cockney flower girl as a princess. The plot of the episode is also similar to the musical, as Edd tries to reform Ed and Eddy into respectable members of society.
 * There were no scams in this episode.
 * We learn that Ed and Eddy are scared of broccoli, to the point of running in fear from it.
 * Edd crying "Not the screen door again Ed!" should trigger your memory, as Ed destroyed Edd's screen door before in "Button Yer Ed". This also showed and proved that at some point between the end of the latter episode and the beginning of this episode that Edd repaired his screen door only for Ed to destroy it again in this episode.
 * The word "food" is said at least 24 times in the episode.
 * This is one of the few episodes where Rolf is unhappy about doing his chores. Usually, Rolf is proud of performing laborious tasks. Another episode where Rolf is not fond of doing his chores is "Stop, Look and Ed".
 * In certain parts of the episode after Edd gives Eddy and Ed the soup, the bandage marks disappear.
 * When Rolf is surprised by the behavior of Eddy, Edd explains "a little pavlovian training has turned Ed and Eddy into upright fellows!" This is a reference to the work of a Russian physiologist named Ivan Pavlov, who used dogs as test subjects in his rather grim experiments when studying the nervous system's responses to overwhelming stress and pain. This work is commonly referred to as "Pavlov's Dogs".
 * Running Gags:
 * 1) Ed and Eddy getting scared of the broccoli when they see it.
 * 2) Edd trying to give Eddy and Ed better manners by pulling bandages off the back of their head when they misbehave.
 * 3) Ed and Eddy doing something that angers or annoys the other kids.
 * While there is no evidence that supports it, being a random Ed moment, it is still hinted by Ed that Eddy's last name could possibly be "McGee". While this is unconfirmed, there is no evidence denying it. Ed also calls Eddy "Eddy McGee" again in "Mission Ed-Possible".
 * After Ed and Eddy ruin Rolf's eggplants, he says "My eggplants!", in response which makes this one of the few episodes in the series when Rolf refers to himself in first person. Most of the time he would refer to himself in the third person.
 * The Reconstituted Fava Bean Paste jar has the same color of the Garbanzo Paste jar as seen in "Knock Knock Who's Ed?".
 * Ed quotes two lines from previous episodes, one being "If only we had a sack of potatoes" from "Ready, Set... Ed!", and "Eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs!" from "Who, What, Where, Ed", "Rambling Ed", "Will Work for Ed" and "Ed or Tails".
 * After Ed crashed into Kevin and his bike, Kevin was completely fine with no scratches or injuries at all. But soon after when he is shown at a close up after his bike's destruction and later when he goes up to Edd's door, he has injuries on him.
 * 49th time the Kankers are absent.
 * Apparently Edd's father gets easily agitated when the screen door is broken.
 * Although Sarah and Jimmy were both smashed into the fence by Ed, Jimmy is the only one shown injured when both should have been injured not just Jimmy.
 * This is the first time Edd ends up about to get pounded by Kevin for destroying his bike. The second time this happens is at the end of "Mission Ed-Possible".