Read All About Ed

"Read All About Ed" is the 9th episode of Season 1 of Ed, Edd n Eddy. In this episode, Eddy finds out Edd is doing a paper route and realizes how much money he could make through just one paper route. After Eddy orders a lot of papers, the Eds all try to deliver the papers through the route to make lots of money, however it becomes too difficult to do so by hand. In an attempt to make things easier, Edd builds a machine that will deliver the newspapers more easily and neatly. This makes things easier for them at first, but it later becomes too much for them to handle.

Plot
Eddy is sleeping peacefully when a commotion causes everything in his room to shake, waking him up. Eddy looks outside and sees that Rolf is using his tractor to mow Eddy's lawn for some reason. Eddy screams at Rolf to stop, but due to the tractor's noise, Rolf can't understand him and instead just cheerfully waves.

In other parts of the cul-de-sac, his friends are waking up. Ed wakes up without any blankets, but he's able to solve the problem by pulling the bottom of his mattress over him, allowing him to go back to sleep. Edd takes the opposite route, as he has set an alarm clock. After getting ready for the day and making his bed, he sets out on his paper route, and along the way runs into Eddy, who has left his room and fallen asleep on the sidewalk. When a dazed Eddy tells Edd to get out of his room, Edd points out that he's outside, and that he has a paper route. At the mention of money, Eddy wakes up, and quickly realizes that Edd could make a lot more money with five paper routes, or even fifty.

When Edd comes home, he hangs up his paper route bag and goes over to open the window. When he draws back the curtains, however, he sees the sun blocked out by a huge pile of newspapers leaning against his house. Edd realizes what must have happened, but before he can react, his window collapses open from the weight of the papers. When he manages to fight his way out, Ed has arrived and is playing in the newspapers. Seeing this, Edd instructs Ed to find Eddy, and after snapping a salute, Ed goes off to get his friend.

When he comes back, Ed is lugging a wagon filled with newspapers. On top of the stack lies Eddy's bed, in which Eddy is sleeping, using a pair of fuzzy dice as earplugs. Eddy yawns, stretches, and wakes up, getting out of bed and falling flat onto the pavement. When he gets up, he gazes at the papers and smiles, as it's time to deliver some papers to the neighborhood.

His friends then proceed to deliver papers while Eddy tans. Everything is going well until Ed comes to a yard with an unopenable gate. After tugging on it a few times, Ed backs up and tries to jump the fence. Ed almost makes it, but his pants get caught on the gate, and Ed slams into the door. He calls for help, and Edd rushes in to try and help. Edd looks around, but doesn't think to check behind the door that Ed is still hanging on. Soon, though, he becomes distracted by a growling noise. A small dog is in front of him and plans to protect its property. The dog clamps its teeth onto Edd's sock, and Edd hops around madly, trying to get it off. Ed meanwhile manages to break free, sacrificing his pants in the process, and he comes up to Eddy with the newspaper still in his mouth. Annoyed, Eddy grabs the paper and tries to toss it at a house only for it to come apart as soon as it leaves his hand. Seeing this, Eddy declares he's pooped, and both he and Ed turn to Edd, who is bruised and battered, looking for a solution to their delivery problem.

Edd goes to work, and soon enough has built a nifty little newspaper shooter for them to use. They take it out and test it with a paper, and inadvertently Ed, both times proving that it works. The trio then take it out on the town and use it to complete the chore of delivering papers. It seems as though they'll be done soon when Ed stupidly grabs Eddy's bed and throws it into the collection funnel of the device. This causes the newspaper shooter to short out, and it takes off, a runaway device. It goes on a madcap rampage around the cul-de-sac, shooting papers everywhere at speeds that break windows, dent lightpoles, and even knock Kevin off of his bike. Eventually, though, it runs into a curb and breaks, spitting out one final newspaper before it dies.

This newspaper bounces and rolls, tapping Sarah on the back of her leg. Upset, Sarah yells that she's gonna tell their mother, so Ed eats the paper to get rid of the evidence. Eddy then says that they're done and is about to leave when Edd informs him that no, they'll only get paid if the papers are properly delivered.

The Eds set to work, getting rid of the carnage that's all around them. When Eddy suggests that it can't get worse, the universe conspires to prove him wrong by having it rain. This causes the ink on the papers to run, and it gets all over their hands and bodies. Eventually, the rain stops, causing Edd to comment that you can never predict summer rains–a statement that is greeted with another summer rain. This one stops again, though, and Edd once again comments on the unpredictability of summer storms, causing another. When this one stops, Edd starts to make his comment again, but his friends stop him. Things only get worse, however, when a dump truck dumps a fresh batch of papers on them for delivery. One of these papers is picked up by Ed, who learns from his horoscope that a new enterprise will fail to meet expectations. No kidding, Ed, no kidding.

Memorable Quotes

 * Eddy: [talking in his sleep] "Oh no no no, of course, who else?" [laughs and grabs the tissue box with both hands] "I accept this award on behalf of myself."

Kevin: "Huh? Whoa!" [Kevin gets hit by a newspaper at the chin that knocks him off his bike.] Ed: "Nice shot."
 * Ed: "Uh-oh!" [warning Kevin] "Kevin, look out!"


 * Edd: [being threatened by a little yappy lapdog] "Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo…" [the lapdog bites Edd's sock] "Oh dear… NOT MY SOCK!" [trying to shake the dog off] "Aah! Get off!"

Eddy: [irritated] "Double D!" [A truck backs up and dumps a mountain of newspapers on them.] Ed: [buried beneath a mountain of newspapers] "Hey look, my horoscope - 'new enterprise fails to meet expectations'. What's that mean?"
 * Edd: "Summer rains, you can never predict them." [It rains again. Scene changes to the three Eds cleaning up the newspaper mess. After a while the rain stops.] "Summer rains, you can never…" [The rain starts up again.] "…predict them." [It stops raining.] "Summer rains–"

Ed: [off-screen] "Eddy!" Eddy: [looks up and notices Ed without his pants] "Where's your pants?" ''[Eddy laughs, as Edd is still trying to shake the lapdog off of him. Ed mumbles through a mouthful of newspaper.]'' Eddy: [grabbing the newspaper from Ed's mouth] "Don't eat the profits! Let me show you how it's done, chicken legs." [Eddy walks up to the nearest house and tosses the paper, but it falls apart into individual pages.] Eddy: "Well, I'm pooped. We need an easier way of delivering these papers." [He looks at Edd, who is beaten up from the scuffle with the dog.] "Hmm?" Edd: [annoyed] "Oh, let me solve our problem."
 * Eddy: [reading one of the newspapers] "Ha-ha. Yeah right."

Edd: "Yeah! I'm happy with it, Eddy!" Ed: [pulls Edd's hat] "I'm happy with Eddy, too. Ooh… Does it work?" Eddy: [hits Ed's hand and pushes him away] "Don't touch it! Let's go!" Edd: "Good idea."
 * Eddy: "Ready, Double D?"

Ed: [diving into the newspaper shooter] "YAHOOOOOOOOOO!" [The machine spits him out, all rolled up like a newspaper.] "Oops."
 * Edd & Eddy: [in unison after testing the newspaper shooter] "IT WORKS!"

Ed: [stuffing the newspaper into his mouth] "All gone!"
 * Sarah: [after a newspaper rolls and hits Sarah's feet] "ED! You hit me and I'm telling Mom!"

Trivia

 * Goofs:
 * Eddy was shown with four toes instead of three throughout the beginning of the episode.
 * In the beginning when Rolf is mowing Eddy's lawn, there is no fence around his yard. Instead, a sidewalk connects Eddy's sliding door to the road pavement instead of the fences in front and The Lane behind the fences.
 * When Rolf was driving his tractor near the beginning of the episode and gets 'greeted' by Eddy, the red stripe on his shirt was missing.
 * When we see Rolf mowing Eddy's lawn, his teeth are white and clean, but in most other episodes, they are green.
 * In the scene where Ed's feet break through his mattress, his eyebrow is missing.
 * In that same scene, Ed's bed was now only standing on the back legs, and the front of his bed didn't fall over.
 * Near the beginning, when Edd is sleeping, the bed is labeled "sack". In the next scene, the label disappears.
 * When Ed says "Okay" after Edd asks him to retrieve Eddy, his mouth doesn't move.
 * When Ed pops his head out the avalanche of newspapers and says "Cool", his outline doesn't move.
 * When the Newspaper Shooter was being tested out, it fires a newspaper at a house's front door and lands on the front step. When Ed got shot to the same house's front door and landed on the same front step, the newspaper is gone.
 * When Edd comes back, before he said "Oh, let me solve our problem", if you look closely, Ed's pants are back on. He wasn't wearing pants through the rest of that scene.
 * When Eddy and Edd were trying to catch Ed and stop the newspaper machine from causing destruction, you can see in one shot Edd's socks disappeared and in another shot, they're back on.
 * After Ed messes around and angers Eddy, he pushes and slicks his hairs back with ink getting on his face, but later Eddy's hairs are sticking straight up again.
 * This episode features the first appearance of Rolf's tractor.
 * Edd would use the "Summer rains, you can never predict them" quote again in "Home Cooked Eds."
 * When Ed is running past the houses and laughing, you can tell that every two or three houses are identical, which was also seen again in the video game Ed, Edd n Eddy - Scam of the Century in Edd's final stage.
 * The Newspaper Shooter reappears in "3 Squares and an Ed" in one of the shelves of Edd's Cabinet of Failed Inventions, still in its damaged condition.
 * This is the only episode where a dog is actually shown.
 * This is also the first time that a dog is heard. Another dog is later heard in "Cry Ed."
 * We learn that Edd wakes up at about 5:35 A.M. to begin his paper route.
 * Edd's hat can also be used as a shield, as seen when Edd and Eddy try to protect themselves from being hit by the barrage of newspapers flying out of control. This technique is used again in the Lunchroom Rumble game as Edd's defending move.
 * Near the beginning, when Edd is starting his paper route, he is whistling part of the Ed, Edd n Eddy theme song. This is noted in the closed captioning.
 * Edd only gets paid one nickel per day for delivering papers. Coincidentally, this was the original price for jawbreakers.
 * Kevin's Bike has a different color scheme in this episode. Usually his bike is colored silver, but in this episode it's green. It's possible that Kevin customized it with a paint job.