The Ed-Touchables

"The Ed-Touchables" is the very first episode of Season 1 and the series premiere of ''Ed, Edd n Eddy. ''In this episode, the Eds try to hunt down a "serial toucher" who's been stealing the Cul-de-Sac kids' stuff. It first aired (along with its companion episode "Nagged to Ed") on Cartoon Network on Monday January 4, 1999.

Plot
The episode begins at Edd's house. The scene then goes into Edd's room where Edd is busy creating labels and placing them on every item in his room. We then see Edd going around his room to check on anything unlabeled. Edd is then shown using his labeler to create a label that reads 'lamp' which he then places on the lamp on his desk. Edd then uses his labeler to create a label that reads 'books' which he then places on one of the bookshelves. Edd then puts labels on his desk, his sack, doorknob, bedroom floor, and his cactus (named Jim). Edd then proceeds in counting up the ants in his ant farm. He then notes to one ant that he likes what it did with a tunnel. After a while, he finishes counting all the ants, noting that is everyone. With the help of an abacus, Edd counts that there are 4837 ants. Edd puts on the label for the ant farm when he hears the doorbell ring.

Edd goes downstairs and opens the door. He sees nobody around the door, so he closes the door and leaves. As Edd goes back up the stairs, the doorbell rings again. He goes back down and opens the door, but finds nobody again. Edd checks the condition of the doorbell by pressing on it, but finds nothing wrong with it, so he closes the door and leaves. Right when he gets back up, the doorbell rings again. Edd goes back down and opens the door. He then yells at whoever is doing ding-dong-ditch, "Now please...", but he gets cut off by a bucket of water that falls on his head. Edd closes the door and goes back up with the bucket still on his head. The doorbell rings again and Edd scrambles back down and opens the door. He sees noting above the door, but before he can check anywhere around the door a fish suddenly hits him in the face. Edd closes the door and walks back up the stairs while having to deal with the stench the fish gave him. The doorbell rings again and Edd scrambles back down. Upon answering, Eddy is at the door. Eddy greets Edd and asks what took him so long. Edd says hello to Eddy and asks what is he doing. Edd then looks at his doorbell and asks Eddy if he was the one ringing his doorbell, but Eddy claims "Who, me? Nah!". After Eddy enters, Edd closes the door.

The scene then goes to Edd's upstairs hallway where Edd and Eddy are outside Edd's room. Edd opens his bedroom door and Eddy proceeds in going in before Edd stops him and tells him he knows the rules. Edd takes out his bunny slippers and gives them to Eddy. Eddy, distraught, states "Awww come on Edd! Not again!". Edd waves his slippers as a sign to Eddy that he has to put them on. Eddy states "All right!" before taking the slippers from Edd. Eddy then grumbles to himself, "Sheesh! Stupid slippers!" while taking off his shoes and putting on the bunny slippers. Edd takes Eddy's shoes and states he will dispose of these. He then puts them in the box that the bunny slippers were in. Eddy states the slippers are on now before being cut off by Edd vacuuming his face. Edd claims he will have him clean in no time. The vacuum then sucks in Eddy's head to clean it up. Edd then releases Eddy's head out of the vacuum. Edd then vacuums Eddy's shirt, claiming he is almost done. Eddy rubs his head and states, "Gee thanks, Edd.". Edd states to Eddy, "After you Eddy.". Eddy dully states, "Yeah, after me." as he walks into the room.

While Edd goes around his room to finish labeling his stuff, Eddy goes to Edd's bed and jumps on it a few times for fun, messing it up. Edd soon hears what Eddy is doing and turns around. Upon seeing Eddy fooling around on his bed, he gets freaked out. Eddy then gets stuck to the ceiling after jumping a bit too high on the bed. Edd then cleans up his bed to make it neat and tidy again while saying "Messy, messy, messy!". After cleaning his bed up, Edd tells Eddy to please not do that while he goes off to finish labeling. Eddy then falls off the ceiling and onto the ground. Eddy is angry over not doing something that he considers fun, so he proceeds in taking the slipper label off of the slipper and putting it on the bed. He then takes the sack label off of the bed and places it on the slipper. Edd however sees what Eddy is doing and yells at Eddy to get his attention. Edd, who is labeling the chair, tells him to put the labels back onto their rightful locations. Eddy states, "All right! All right! Don't have a bird!" while he proceeds in taking the slipper label off of the bed and replacing it with the toilet label. Eddy asks if he is done yet as they should go get Ed. Edd tells him to be patient as he has one more thing to label before seeing that the thing he was just supposed to label is gone. Edd wipes his finger across the place where his magnifying glass was and then he grabs Eddy towards him by the shirt while looking at the finger he just used to wipe the magnifying glass location. Edd states that someone took his magnifying glass and that he feels so violated. Eddy states to Edd he must have misplaced it, but Edd shoves Eddy away with his hand and declares he would never do such a thing. Edd questions what has become of this world and if nothing is sacred. Edd declares everything is soiled as he picks up the skull on his desk and throws all of the other items on his desk into the trash. Edd questions who would do such a thing. Edd then questions himself who would violate the sanctity of somebody's room with their filthy hands. Edd drops the skull onto his desk and falls onto Eddy. Edd declares he feels sick and nauseous and that he can't breathe while he opens his shirt for air. While Edd is having his breakdown, Eddy goes over to Edd's bed, picks it up, and throws it down on Edd to snap him out of his breakdown. Edd dryly thanks Eddy as he needed that. Eddy states, "Anytime pal!". Eddy then tells Edd he can't have somebody touching his stuff as it just isn't right. Eddy then leaves and states he will race Edd to Ed's place. Edd and Eddy then race off to Ed's House.

It then shows the window to Ed's house where Ed is watching a horror movie. Edd and Eddy are shown tiptoeing towards Ed's window. Eddy states to Edd, "There he is!" before the two of them look through the window. It then goes into Ed's room where Ed is still watching his movie. Eddy opens the window and goes inside to sneak up on Ed. Edd follows Eddy, but the window slams shut in his face and on his fingers. Edd makes noises of pain due to the window hurting his fingers, but Eddy then shushes him and tells him to quit fooling around. Eddy goes back to sneaking up on Ed. Eddy then tries to jump on Ed in a sneak attack, but Ed suddenly grabs and holds Eddy by the neck, greets him, and gives him a noogie. Edd then yells out "Dog pile!" as he tries to jump on Ed. A scuffle then occurs before we see Ed holding both Edd and Eddy over his arm and giving Edd a noogie. Ed greets Edd and states to his friends they make him laugh. The Eds are then interrupted by thunderous shaking and crashing. The door is then kicked down by Sarah who was the one creating the shaking and crashing. She then yells to the Eds, "Where is she?". Ed asks Sarah who and what is she talking about. Sarah answers it is her dolly Polly Poo Poo. Sarah gets so infuriated over her missing doll that she jumps onto the comfy chair and tears it up with her mouth and teeth. Sarah then jumps onto the ceiling, messes around with the model rocket and plane hanging on the ceiling, and states she needs her dolly. Ed tells Sarah he never touched her, but Sarah jumps onto Ed's head, grabs it, and calls him a liar. She yells at Ed to not lie at her while spinning him around to wrestle out information from him and calling him a dolly stealer. Eddy notes to himself, "You've got to love these family moments.". Sarah warns Ed if he doesn't reveal where her dolly is, she will get really angry. Ed then trips, causing Edd to fall out of Ed's grasp and stopping Sarah from creating any more havoc. Sarah then falls to the ground. Eddy states Ed's name to get his attention and Ed asks him, "Yeah Eddy?". Eddy notes that as much as he really loves the smell of his stinky pits, he wants Ed to let go of his head now. Edd notes to Sarah that someone has touched his stuff also. Sarah asks him, "Really?". After everyone gets back up, Eddy asks everyone if they don't see what's going on here as it's epidemical. First Edd's magnifying glass goes missing and then Sarah's doll goes missing. Eddy then kicks Sarah away with his foot. Eddy then concludes that someone or something is touching everyone's stuff. Eddy declares they have got to spread the word and warn everyone that there's a serial toucher on the loose. Ed asks how are they going to do that. Eddy thinks for a moment and then gets an idea. Eddy declares he knows just what to do before laughing for a bit.

The scene changes to the Eds standing outside. Ed and Edd are holding fliers while Eddy is standing on a box while using a cone as a megaphone. Eddy requests everyone's attention, but nobody listens, so Eddy yells out "Hey!" to get their attention. Eddy then yells out to everyone, "Beware of the toucher! Serial toucher on the loose! Hide your stuff! Hide your valuables! "Serial toucher on the loose!" Sarah states that dirty toucher took her Polly Poo Poo doll. Jimmy states it is true and asks if someone is going to help them. The kids then begin talking to each other about the serious situation at hand. Eddy then tells everyone to be quiet and relax as he and his friends have got it all under control. Kevin asks them what are they, the "dorks", going to do about it. Eddy then yells in Kevin's face that they, the "dorks", are going to solve the mystery. Kevin pushes the cone away from his face and claims he would pay money to see that. Sarah states she would pay too. The other kids then say that they would do the same.

The Eds are then shown in an alleyway. Eddy is pacing around trying to think up a plan while his friends are waiting for his response. Edd asks Eddy what does he propose they do now. After a while, Eddy gets an idea. He then uses his foot to show and draw out the plan to catch the toucher. He explains that they will start at the lane and then they will cross the street over by the cornerstore. The scene fades to black as Eddy explains the plan.

Ed is then shown laughing while sitting on a bench as Edd and Eddy place a device on him. Edd tells Ed to not move as this is delicate work. Eddy notes there is no way 'the Toucher' can resist this while he and Edd put the finishing touches. The last touch to the device is a sign over Ed's neck that reads 'Don't Touch' with the string holding the sign being attached to a pulling string that Eddy and Edd will pull when Ed is touched. The Eds' ingenious plan consists on Ed sitting alone on a bench in the Playground with a "Don't Touch!" sign around his neck. Whoever disobeys the sign is presumably the serial toucher. Edd notes someone is coming, so he and Eddy hide behind a bush and take the pulling string with them. Eddy tells Ed to not move and stop giggling. Ed then does what Eddy tells him to do. Kevin is then shown riding on his bike. He then stops and sees Ed with the sign around his neck. Kevin then speeds off while calling Ed a "dork". Ed questions to himself, "Dork?" before being interrupted by Eddy, who tells Ed that someone else is coming. Ed then goes back to being silent. Jonny and Plank walk by and notice Ed. Jonny asks Ed what he is doing. Jonny then states that he likes Ed's haircut before standing on his tippy toes to have a better look. He then goes down and scratches his head. Jonny then hears Plank say something to him. Plank states to Jonny that he wants to feel Ed's haircut. Jonny then proceeds in letting Plank touch Ed by rubbing Plank against Ed's head. Eddy whispers to Edd that Ed has been touched, so they got to pull the rope now. Edd does so and this triggers the alarms on the device that is on Ed, surprising Jonny. Eddy then states, "Dr. Toucher, I presume?" as he and Edd point at Jonny accusingly. Jonny states to the Eds they are weird before runnning off. Eddy states they got to get him. Eddy and Edd chase after Jonny and Eddy tells Ed to move it. Ed runs off, but in the wrong direction. Eddy tells Ed to run the other way and Ed does so to join up with his friends.

Jonny is then shown running down an alleyway with Serial Toucher Wanted Posters around the area in an attempt to escape from the Eds. The Eds are then shown going after him. Eddy notes that Jonny is getting away, so he tells his friends to follow him. The Eds then head a nearby gate that leads to a yard. Eddy climbs over the gate while Edd opens the door and goes in. Edd then slams the gate shut. Ed then gets to the gate, but he can't figure a way in. Ed then backs away and charges into the knothole. Ed then goes through the knothole to get into the yard and follow his friends. After a short chase through the Lane, the Eds decide to set a new trap for Jonny. Eddy and Edd are then shown running behind a lamppost and hiding behind it. Ed arrives and tries to get behind the lamppost, but he crashes into the lamppost and falls down. Ed tries to get behind the lamppost again, but just crashes and falls down. He then tries again, but the same result happens again. Before he can attempt a third time, Eddy and Edd notice Ed is in plain sight for people to see. When Ed tries to get behind the lamppost a third time, Eddy grabs him by the jacket and take him behind the lamppost. Jonny is then shown trying to escape from the Eds while coming to the Eds from the left. The Eds then stick their feet out, causing Jonny to trip and fall down. A tired Jonny states to Plank they got him, but he can still make it. Jonny then throws Plank, telling the latter to run. Plank then however lands on Jonny's arms. Jonny pleads Plank to save himself. Eddy then grabs Jonny by the shirt and he tells Plank to be nice before being taken away. Ed then takes Plank with him.

The scene changes to inside Edd's Garage where Jonny and Plank are both tied down to chairs and have many sensors all over their bodies. Ed approaches Jonny with a flashlight shining over Jonny. Ed states to Jonny "Nice haircut!" before he reveals that Edd has a surprise for him. It then shows that the surprise is a lie detector machine as Ed points out. Edd then turns the computer monitor around, places a slice of bread inside the toaster, and then turns the toaster on. Edd tells his friends the machine is ready. Ed, shining the flashlight over the machine, warns Jonny he better watch what he says. Eddy, wearing sunglasses and holding a toothpick in his mouth, comes out of the shadows and agrees with Ed as Jonny shouldn't lie to his friends. Eddy then knocks out one of the sunglasses' lenses and throws away the toothpick before taking off the sunglasses. He then requests Ed for the light. Ed throws the flashlight to Eddy, but it misses Eddy and falls to the ground, forcing Eddy to pick it up himself. Eddy then points the flashlight at Jonny and tells him that's enough fooling around. He then asks Jonny where everybody's stuff is, however, Jonny claims he has no idea what the Eds are talking about. Eddy asks Edd what's the word. Edd smells the cooking toast and states to Eddy that's inconclusive which frustrates him. Eddy states to Jonny if he won't talk then maybe his friend will. Eddy goes over to Plank and guesses that he must be the brains. After a moment of silence, Eddy asks Plank where is the stuff and demands Plank to confess. Plank still says nothing. Eddy guesses that Plank is using the silent treatment. Eddy slaps Plank only to get a handful of splinters from Plank that hurt his hand badly. Jonny pleads Eddy to leave Plank alone. The toast then pops out of the toaster which gets the attention of Jonny, Ed, and Eddy. Edd sniffs the toast and rushes over to type the analysis on a Lite-Brite board. Edd then turns the Lite-Brite board around and states to everyone, "As you can see, the board is lying.".

Eddy states to Plank it's time they tried other methods. He then brings out a water squirt gun and proceeds in using Chinese Water Torture on Plank. Eddy claims to Plank that this will make him swell up good. The sound of the dripping water only makes Jonny want to use the bathroom. Eventually it is too much and Jonny then falsely confesses to the crime because it was the only way the Eds would let him use the bathroom. Eddy happy that they got a confession from the toucher says " You heard him boys. Case Closed!"

Later, the Eds have collected their money and punished Jonny by trapping him in a tire. Their joyous journey to the Candy Store is interrupted when Sarah then claims she found her dolly under her bed with Jimmy supporting this by revealing her missing doll to them. Edd then revealed that he came across his magnifying glass some time ago, proving once and for all that there was no serial toucher and that Jonny is innocent. However, they still decide to spend the profit on jawbreakers without giving a refund or setting Jonny free. Sarah initiates a strategy to get revenge by rolling Jonny's tire down a hill and towards the Eds at the Candy Store, where the tire hits all three of the Eds, causing their jawbreakers to fly out of their mouths and roll down the street. The episode ends with the Eds chasing their jawbreakers into the sunset.

Memorable Quotes

 * Ed: [referencing Jonny's comment about his haircut] "Hey, Jonny, nice haircut. Double-Dee has a surprise for you: A lie detector!"
 * Edd: "Ready!"

Eddy: [talking to Plank] "You must be the brains, huh? Plank: "..." Eddy: "Where's the stuff, Planky? Fess up!" Plank: "..." Eddy: "Oh...silent, huh?" [backhands Plank, only to get splinters embedded in this hand] AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! SPLINTERS!!!" Jonny: "AAAHHH!! LEAVE PLANK ALONE, EDDY!"
 * Eddy: "Well, if you won't talk, maybe your friend will!"

Eddy: "You heard him, boys!" [snaps his fingers] "Case closed!"
 * Jonny: "Okay! Okay! I did it! I took everybody's stuff! Now let me go, I gotta go to the bathroom!"

Jimmy: "It's true. Won't someone help us?"
 * Sarah: "That dirty toucher took my dolly Poo-Poo!"

Jonny: "Whoa, you guys are weird!" [Jonny runs off, Edd and Eddy pursue to chase him]
 * Eddy: "Aha! Dr. Toucher, I presume!"


 * Eddy: [after witnessing Sarah attacking Ed] "You got to love these family moments."

Ed: "Yeah, Eddy?" Eddy: "As much as I love the smell of your stinking pits...CAN YOU LET GO OF MY HEAD NOW?!"
 * Eddy: "Ed?"

Eddy: "Nah! You know what they say: a little childhood trauma builds character." [Jonny's tire comes rolling and knocks the Eds' jawbreakers from their mouths]
 * Edd: "Should we feel guilty about Jonny's predicament?"

Eddy: "Maybe you've misplaced it." Edd: [accidentally shoves Eddy backwards] "NEVER! What has become of this world? Is nothing sacred? D'oh, everything is soiled! Who would do such a thing? Who would violate the sanctity of somebody's room... WITH THEIR FILTHY HANDS?! Oh! Oh, Eddy, I feel sick! [whimper] I feel nauseous! I CAN'T BREATHE!!!" [Eddy grabs the bed and slams it over his head] "Thank you. I... needed that." Eddy: "Anytime, pal."
 * Edd: [ranting about his missing magnifying glass] "EEEEDDY! Someone took my magnifying glass. Oh, I feel so violated."

Trivia/Goofs

 * This episode marks the first appearance of the Eds and the Kids (The Kankers don't appear until the next episode).
 * There is a game on cartoonnetwork.com with the same title. However, the game is more based on the episode "Dawn of the Eds" than "The Ed-Touchables."
 * The series came full-circle when at the end of Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show Edd labels a blank black screen with the words "The End" (afterwards the credits scroll), connecting the beginning with the end of the series. Edd also made labels to organize things throughout the movie, mirroring what he does in this episode.
 * When Jonny said that Ed had a haircut, this hints that Ed possibly used to have longer hair before the show debuted. This is proven in "Over Your Ed" when Ed's hair is styled and is shown to be ginger.
 * When Edd begins to talk to his skull, it is very reminiscent of Shakespeare's Hamlet, picking up a skull and saying: "Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio—". This may be a reference, or maybe Edd is imitating Shakespeare deliberately to get over the shock of losing his magnifying glass.
 * What appears to be bad designing is clear throughout the first few episodes of the series. A clear example of this is Edd's House, whose blue color goes beyond its boundaries. In reality, this was an intentional reference to older cartoons, which had general blocks of color for background objects that kids "never pay attention too."
 * This is the first episode to air in 1999, it was originally going to be October 1998 but Danny Antonucci wanted an extension into January.
 * In this episode, jawbreakers cost a nickel, but for some strange reason, jawbreakers cost a quarter for the rest of the series. However, in "Dawn of the Eds," Edd mentions that the exchange rates have changed, increasing the cost of jawbreakers.
 * This features the first appearance of the Candy Store.
 * Shortly after Sarah attacked Ed, Edd has hearts in his eyes while talking to Sarah, hinting a possible crush.
 * Edd's House makes its first appearance in the series, outside and inside.
 * Edd is known to be the first character to appear in this episode.
 * This is the only time we see something on Ed's TV other than Fishbowl II, static, or nothing. Look closely and you can see a flaming skull and a skeleton whirling around the screen. It's also the only time we see any of one of Ed's B movies.
 * Edd uses a "Lite-Brite" board during Jonny's interrogation.
 * Cartoon Network often mistakes "Pop Goes the Ed" as the first episode (as seen in the Best Day Edder marathon, Season 1 DVD, and cartoonnetwork.com) but this episode was the first to air, making it the true first episode.
 * When Edd showed Eddy the bunny slippers, Eddy referred Edd as "Edd" twice and also after he cleaned him with a vacuum. This is the only episode where Eddy referred Edd as such. Eddy never refers Edd by his real name in any further episodes unless it's part of a nickname. In "Ready, Set... Ed!", Eddy referred Edd as "Edd" again so this would mark the third time that happened because this happened twice in this episode.
 * When Edd's face gets smashed in the window when he and Eddy were going to Ed's house he has 3 fingers, but then has 4 fingers through the rest of the episode.
 * When Eddy puts the toilet label on Edd's bed, the label was white. Then, a few seconds later, the label was a tan color.
 * When Eddy puts on the bunny slippers he has four toes; it should be noted that Eddy originally has four toes unlike everyone else who have three.
 * When Edd was telling Sarah that someone touched his magnifying glass, everyone is lying down on the floor. In the next shot, everybody is standing.
 * When Edd tells Eddy to put the labels back in place, he places a label entitled "chair" onto his desk chair. In the next shot, when Edd prepares to label the missing magnifying glass, the chair is no longer labeled. Quite alike, the pillow is labeled when it appears first, but it's mislabeled later.
 * When Edd has his nervous breakdown over losing his magnifying glass, he is standing next to his desk. Then, without moving, he starts breaking down in the middle of his room away from his desk.
 * In the scenes in Edd's room, the color of the labels on Edd's items change from white to the color of what they identify.
 * When the Eds are chasing Jonny, Eddy's shirt changes from yellow to orange (or probably dark yellow). Then when they jump over the fence racing to the street pole, it's back to yellow.
 * When the Eds put their legs out to trip Jonny, Edd's leg is bare. However, after Jonny trips, he is wearing his red socks.
 * For a few shots when Eddy spoke into the traffic cone, the red stripe on his shirt is missing. This error happens again in "Sir Ed-a-Lot".
 * At the scene where the Kids just about to be warned about the Serial Toucher, when you can see the kids playing, Sarah's hair turns red from its normal color.
 * In all of the scenes where Jimmy is seen, prior to Sarah rolling Jonny down the hill, he has a plaster on his nose. When he is seen in his last scene, he has a bandage on his head instead of his nose.
 * When Jonny is tied to the chair during the Ed's interrogation of him, he appears to be wearing a sweater instead of his usual T-shirt.
 * Edd has a more raspy voice when later in Seasons 2-6 it is higher-pitched and clearer.
 * At the scene when the Eds are eating, Ed's shoes are normally black, but after the close up shots of Edd and Eddy, his shoes are then red just like Eddy's shoes.
 * The episode showed that Edd had crush on Sarah during the bit where his eyes turned to hearts, however, in the subsequent episodes Edd fears Sarah and she is the one who has crush on him.

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