Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed/Script

''[Eddy runs by, stepping in a puddle. Ed follows and falls straight through. Edd stops short and steps over it.]'' Edd: "Puddles can be so messy." [He puts up a Caution sign.] "An ounce of prevention!" Eddy: "Hey, snailboy, move it, willya? I'm not getting any younger." [He walks off a cliff.] Edd: "Eddy, stop!" Ed: [running off the cliff into Eddy] "I got a soaker, guys!" Eddy: "Ed, if you bump into me one more–" Edd: "Um, guys?" Eddy: "What?" Edd: "Improbable alert!" ''[Eddy realizes he's standing on thin air and rushes to safe ground. Ed stays where he is.]'' Edd and Eddy: "Come back, Ed!" Ed: "I can jump it, guys!" Edd and Eddy: "No, Ed!" [They pull him back.] Edd: "Now what?" Eddy: "I'm thinking, I'm thinking." Ed: "Can I think?" Edd and Eddy: "NO!"

''[A bottle is spinning rapidly in the center of a circle formed by the kids. The bottle stops, settling on Jimmy.]'' Jimmy: "It's my turn! Luck be a lady tonight." Kevin: "Right. Pick then. Truth, or dare?" Jimmy: "Dare me, sucka." Sarah: "Thattaboy, Jimmy!" Kevin: "Cool. Let's see. I dare you to...skip your turn." Jimmy: [realizing he's been played] "Darn it." Kevin: "What a sap." [He spins the bottle again.]

[Edd is using four spinning paper cups to judge the wind's speed and direction.] Eddy: "What's the word, Double D?" Edd: "Well frankly Eddy, I'm concerned. The wind conditions aren't suitable for our trajectory. The lean is much too steep for the span." Eddy: "What else is new? Let 'er rip, Ed!" [Ed lets go of the tree root he's biting.] Ed: "Gravy." ''[The tree the Eds are standing on snaps to its full height, rocketing them away. They land headfirst in the lane.]'' Ed: "I think I hit a pipe." Jonny: "Buzz, buzz, buzz off, Jonny." [He is pretending to be a fly.] "Buzz, buzz, buzz off, Jonny. Buzz, buzzoow!" [He runs into a fence, and all the kids (except Nazz and Jimmy) laugh.] Nazz: "You shouldn't have dared Jonny to buzz off, Kevin." Rolf: "Ah, the artichoke thickens. Are those the better-check-your-wallet Ed-boys?" Kevin: "Where? Aw, great." [Ed pulls himself out of the ground and yanks his friends out of the dirt.] Sarah: "Who invited them?" Kevin: "The dorks came to ruin our game." Eddy: "Truth or dare? I love this game! Who's next?" [He spins the bottle.] "I gotta warn ya, I'm a pro at this. Siddown, pigeons." ''[He opens his eyes to see that the Eds are alone. Forebodingly, the bottle points away from them.]'' Edd: "Their social skills are deplorable." Ed: "My turn to spin!" [He spins himself around and points the bottle at Eddy.] "Eddy? Truth or dare?" Eddy: "Okay, dare, Ed." Ed: "Okay, I dare you, Eddy, to sprout the wings of a bat and stomp like a zombie while whistling 'Row, Row, Row your Boat' through a car wash." Edd: "Ed, try a more reasonable dare, please." Ed: [after a long pause] "Okay, I dare Eddy to be Double D." Edd: "Eddy act like me? Why that's–" Eddy: "Stupid, Ed! You blew your chance to–" Edd: "Y'know, Eddy, it could be quite intriguing. Why I'd be flattered if you were to mimic me." Eddy: "Let's see, where do I start?" [mimicking Edd] "The wind conditions are absurd. The lean is too steep for the fat." Ed: "Good Double D, Eddy." [Edd chuckles.] [Eddy pretends to strain to budge the bottle, unable to move it an inch.] Eddy: "Oh dear. The unsanitary. My skinny arms cannot bear the weight. Oh oh I know. I'll move it with my brain." Edd: [sarcastic] "Ha ha ha. Very good, Eddy." [He spins the bottle.] "Can we resume playing?" [The bottle settles on him.] "Oh dear." Eddy: "Ha! I dare ya to be Ed! Go on, flatter him." Edd: "Well, I suppose I could, but only if Ed will be Eddy." Ed: "I can do Eddy, I practiced." [He pushes his eyes together and starts speaking in a loud, raspy voice.] "Can it Double Dweeb!" Eddy: "Whaddya mean you practiced?" Ed: "Shut up, Sockhead!" Eddy: "Please, Eddy, you're invading my personal space!" ''[He pushes Ed away. The Eds share a laugh.]'' Eddy: "Well?" Ed: "Do me, Double D!" Eddy: "We're waiting." Edd: "Very well. Let's see now." ''[He turns around and manipulates his face. When he faces his friends again, his eyes are spread out across his face.]'' "Buttered toast." [The Eds laugh again.]

[Jimmy pours a hose onto a Slip-n-Slide.] Jimmy: "It's ready, Sarah!" Sarah: "Here I come!" [She slides the length of the toy.] "Whee! That was fun! Your turn, Jimmy!" Jimmy: [pouring sunscreen into his palm] "One second, Sarah! I'm oiling up for speed!" [Jimmy rubs the lotion on his chest and stomach.] "On your mark, get set–" Rolf: "Out of the way!" [He rides his unicycle into Jimmy, and Jimmy gets tangled in the spokes.] Sarah: [worried] "Jimmy!" Jimmy: "The wrath of destiny visits once again." Rolf: "Rolf has no time for this!" [to Sarah] "Where is your brother?" Sarah: "What am I? His keeper?" Rolf: "Yes." Sarah: "Backyard."

[Rolf enters the backyard to see Ed's clothes stumbling around with a watering can on their head.] Rolf: "Ho ho! There you are, one shy of a full deck Ed-boy! Rolf requires your assistance." [He pulls the can off to reveal Edd.] Edd: "Who is there?" Rolf: "Imposter! You are not Ed-boy!" Edd: "Gravy." Rolf: [confused] "Hmm." Eddy: [wearing Edd's clothes and a sock on his head] "Pardon me, Rolf, but I have compost a theory. Once upon observation of this small rock, I have discovered it actually mutated from a big rock. Intriguing." Edd: [running like Ed] "Haw haw haw!" [He slips.] "Curse Ed's horrible posture." [Rolf turns his head to see Ed, dressed like Eddy, lounging in a chair.] Rolf: "Oafish Ed-boy!" [He hurries over.] "Rolf requests the presence of your colossal feet, as it is time to squish the raspberries." Ed: "I'll help if I give you a quarter, Rolfy boy." Rolf: [scratching his head] "What?" [He grabs Ed.] "Come, as the raspberries will spoil." [He runs off with Ed.] Eddy: "Oh dear." Edd: "Look at him go, Double D." Eddy: "That leaves just I and you. Ed, now that they've left, let's make fun of Eddy behind his back." Edd: "Like we always do?" Eddy: "Ah hah! I knew it!" Edd: "You're so gullible, Eddy. Or as Ed would say, 'Gravy!'" [He runs after Rolf.] "Haw haw haw!" Eddy: "Wait for me! I am slow and out of shape!"

''[A chicken is pecking at the dirt. Suddenly, Rolf's shoe lands beside it.]'' Rolf: "Hurry! as the raspberries beg to be squashed, Ed-boy." Ed: "Let's sell the squash for cash. Chicken!" [hugging it] "Pet the chicken, pet the chicken–" [He sees Edd.] "The stupid bird stole my quarter. Flew away with it. Stupid." Eddy: "Excuse me, Eddy. May I fuel inject? Chickens cannot fly, as they are mammals." Edd: "I love chickens, Eddy." ''[The Eds laugh heartily. Rolf, who is stomping the raspberries, glares at them.]'' Rolf: "Ed-boy!" Ed: [poking Edd] "Wake up, Monobrow." Edd: "Oh right. Yes. Ahem." [turning around to face Rolf] "I am Ed." Rolf: [hassled] "You are not Ed-boy! I must have the large Ed-boy here now. So please, Ed-boy, raspberries to squash! Thank you." Eddy: "Rolf said thank you! Isn't it refurbishing to hear politeness?" Ed: "Put a sock in it, sock in it. I got a plan." [He pulls Eddy's sock over him and walks behind Edd.] "Hey, burrhead. I will now inflict pain on you." Edd: "What?" [Ed swings Eddy, knocking Edd into the raspberry silo.] Edd: "Buttered toast?" Rolf: "No butter, raspberries! Squish the fruit, slowpoke Ed-boy. Rolf needs juice for his great thirst!" Eddy: "Eddy, I too am quite thirsty. Quite partial, to be correct." Edd: [calling from the muck] "Parched! The word you're looking for is parched!" Ed: "Yeah right Lumpy! Parched is a fish!" Eddy: "Intriguing." Rolf: "You are not Ed." [ranting] "You have cursed my raspberries to the life of salad dressing, impostor with tiny feet!" [Suddenly, the berry juice begins to drain from its container.] Ed: "You know what they say, Double D." [He shoves Eddy's mouth to an opened pipe on the side.] "If you're thirsty, take a drink." [Eddy chugs it down and swells up.] "Gee, Double D, you really let yourself go." [He jumps on Eddy, and Eddy spits the pipe out.] "Kids'll pay big money to ride a blimp. You're a genius, Double D." Edd: [popping out of Eddy's sock] "You really think I'm a genius?" Eddy: "Hey I'm Double D! I'm the genius!" [A red-tinted Rolf opens Eddy's mouth and climbs out.] Ed: "I have caused discomfort 'cause I'm Eddy!" [The Eds laugh.] Rolf: "Rolf has never been so confused."

[Edd is walking in the lane.] Edd: "Uh oh, a fence!" [He walks into it.] "Gravy." Ed: "Aw, come on, Double D. I don't say gravy all the time." Edd: "Buttered toast, then." Eddy: "Toast is so crude, as the crust always gets stuck in my gap." [Edd shuts his mouth to hide the gap.] [Ed and Eddy laugh as Kevin and Nazz walk up.] Kevin: "I don't even wanna know." Eddy: "Greetings, Kevin. A pleasure to look at you. May I inspect your nostrils?" Kevin: "Get lost, dork." Eddy: "Intriguing. Your apelike qualities ensure your smartness. Let's examine your brain!" [Eddy pulls out a telescope and extends it so it goes through Kevin's ears.] Kevin: "Hey! You're meat, dork!" [He chases Eddy.] Ed: "Eddy's good, huh Double D?" Sarah: [calling] "Ed!" Ed: "Sarah?" [He dives into a bush.] Edd: "Sarah? Ed." Sarah: [seeing Edd from the back] "Ed." Edd: "Ed, Sarah." Sarah: [grabbing Edd] "I've been looking for you. Mom says to clean your room!" [She drags him off.] Edd: "Ed?" Ed: [popping out of the bush] "What a tree sap." Jonny: "Hiya, Ed. Why ya dressed like Eddy?" Ed: [in his normal voice] "It's a dare, Jonny." [as Eddy] "So buzz off, melonhead!" Jonny: [laughing] "Been there, done that, Ed, oh, I mean Eddy! Ha ha! Oh." Plank: Jonny: "Plank says he'll give you a quarter if you'll do a dare." Ed: "Bring it on, I'll do anything for cash. 'Cause I'm short."

[Sarah kicks open the door to Ed's bedroom and throws Edd inside.] Sarah: "I'll be back in five minutes!" [She starts to close the door, but stops.] "Cuz Mom said I could!" ''[Sarah slams the door, leaving Edd in the grody hole known to us as Ed's basement. Edd: [stuck in a chair] "Deception certainly is excruciating." ''[Edd looks down and spots a sandwich. The bread is all molded, and it is so old that mushrooms are popping out of the bread everywhere.]'' Edd: "Oh, the inhumanity!" ''[Edd wrenches himself free of the chair and stumbles backwards into the bathroom. He falls into the bathtub with a plop. When he sits up, he is covered in a strange brown glop–the same glop filling the tub.]'' Edd: "What in heaven's name is this?" [He fishes in the muck.] "A ladle? Oh my. IT'S A TUB OF GRAVY!"

[Eddy bursts into Edd's house and slams the door on Kevin.] Kevin: "Get outta Double D's house!" [Eddy runs upstairs, and Kevin opens the door.] "Get out here and take your lumps." [Eddy finds his way into Edd's room and locks the door.] Eddy: "Bingo." Kevin: [pounding on the door] "Open this door!" Eddy: "Sucker!" Kevin: "That's it, I'm gonna count to three–" Eddy: "Don't bust an artery, Einstein." ''[Suddenly, an alarm begins to blare, and the room strobes with a red light. A recording of Edd's voice is heard.]'' Recording: "You have invaded my personal space. Do not touch anything and leave via the designated exit." ''[An Exit sign over the door is flashing. The lock on the door unlocks itself, and the door swings open to reveal a triumphant, viciously happy Kevin.]'' Recording: "Watch your step on the way out and have a nice day!" Kevin: [pounding his fist into his palm] "Oh, you can count on it." [He chuckles evilly.] Eddy: "Oh dear. Pain."

Jonny: [laughing] "Boy, Eddy. We can't tell that truth to anyone now, can we?" ''[Plank is dressed in Eddy's clothes. From the top of the board, three straws stick up.]'' "Right, Ed? Whoop! I mean, Plank!" [Ed is in his underwear, pretending to be Plank.] "What's that, Eddy? Woo, hoo! What a potty mouth!" [Jonny laughs.]