Who, What, Where, Ed/Script

[Ed is in the kitchen, playing with a yo-yo.] Ed: "Boy, I'm good! Yo yo, yo yo yo, yo..." Edd: "Just as I thought. One teaspoon of butter, perfectly measured. Eddy?" Eddy: "Got it Double D." ''[He grabs the entire stick. Cooking at the stove]'' "You guys haven't lived till you've tried one of my omelets. Ed, eggs, I need eggs!" Ed: "I got 'em, Eddy!" [he ties himself up in his yo-yo string] "Almost there, Eddy!" [He tries to walk forward but falls.] Edd: "Ed! You're pitting the floor!" Ed: "Aw no way, Double D, not since I had my braces removed." Eddy: "Eggs, Ed, eggs!" Ed: [opening the freezer] "Eggs eggs eggs eggs eggs eggs eggs." [He finds a popsicle.] "Pop freeze!" Eddy: "You won't find eggs in the freezer, Monobrow! Look in the fridge? Next to the milk?" Ed: [his tongue stuck to the freezer] "I'll be right back, Eddy!" [He looks through the fridge.] "I found some eggs!" Eddy: "Bring 'em over, I'm starving!" Ed: "I'm Ed!" ''[Ed brings them over, his tongue still stuck. His tongue knocks the fridge over, and it stops him, pulling him back.]'' Ed: "Got them!" ''[Ed falls, releasing the eggs. The eggs fly all over the place. Eddy holds up his pan to protect himself.]'' Eddy: [getting up] "Hmm. Ed? Oh Ed?" Ed: [licking his treat] "Banana flavor, Eddy! Wanna bite?" Eddy: "Hold that thought." [He smashes Ed in the face with the frying pan.]

[Eddy and Edd are trying to clean the eggs off of themselves.] Edd: "No eggs, no omelets, Eddy." Eddy: "If we had a chicken, we'd be knee deep in eggs." [He gets an idea.] "A chicken! That's it!" Ed: [leaping on Eddy] "A chicken! Oh please Eddy, can we get a chicken? C'mon Eddy! Oh please Eddy let's get a chicken. Can we please?" [pleading] "I love chickens, Eddy!" Eddy: "Sure, Ed, you can have a chicken." [sinister] "But I get to keep the eggs."

''[A chicken is sitting on a nest in a bucket. Rolf suddenly picks it up.]'' Rolf: "The hay is warm and tells Rolf all." [He pulls out an egg.] "Ah. The fat has been creamed, and I will sleep well. A fine egg. Rolf will remember." Ed: "Look! Chickens!" Eddy: "And they lay eggs! Hey Rolf, fire over that egg-maker!" Ed: [chasing a chicken] "Chickens are fast." Eddy: "C'mon Rolf, give us a chicken!" Rolf: "Has your brain turned to custard like half-priced pastry, Ed-boy? I give you no chickens!" [Ed drops the chickens he is holding.] "It is very simple, like yourself. You hatch your own fowl." Edd: "An opportunity to nurture the life and future of a domestic fowl seems appealing." Ed: "Where do eggs come from, Rolf?" Rolf: [picking up a chicken] "Let me show you exactly where the egg comes from–" Edd: "No! Um...eggs come from chickens, Ed." Ed: "Where does a chicken come from?" Rolf: "An egg, slowpoke Ed! My day is half over and you are half full. Goodbye." Eddy: "Wait! Rolf! How bout that egg?" Rolf: "You must trade for the egg, greasy Ed-boy." Eddy: "Trade? For what?" Rolf: "Sawdust. You want this egg, yes, Ed-boy?"

Eddy: [with a cup and a funnel] "We'll have a chicken in no time!" [He places the funnel in the cup.] Ed: [with a two-person saw and a log] "I love chickens, Eddy!" Edd: [on the other end of the saw] "I enjoy witty banter, but my arms are falling asleep here!" Eddy: "The sawdust collector is ready. Let's go boys!" [Ed starts sawing, and the dust slowly collects in the cup.] "I'd hate to do this for a living." [Edd, on the other end of the saw, is being pulled back and forth, slamming against the log on every pull.] Jonny: [running up to them] "Stop! Stop sawing that log!" Eddy: "How else are we supposed to get sawdust? Maybe Plank'd like to contribute." Jonny: "Oh no. Plank says–" Plank: Jonny: "–Kevin has lots of sawdust!" Eddy: [excited] "Kevin's got sawdust? Remind me to thank you! Later!" Ed: "I'm getting a chicken!"

Kevin: [lugging a trash can full of sawdust out of his shed] "Sawdust bites." [He wipes his brow.] "Doing chores bites." Edd: "Excuse me, Kevin, but we would like to offer our services and help you dispose of that–" Eddy: "Give us your sawdust, Kevin!" [trying to scam him] "I mean, sawdust is so heavy. And it's just lying around, doing nothing. Useless dust. From a saw. Eh?" Edd: "And our respect for wood by-products will ensure it will be distributed to a loving home." [The Eds grin nervously.] Kevin: "Fine. You can have the sawdust." The Eds: "YEAH!" Eddy: "Now we can get my egg!" Ed: [hugging his friends] "And I can hug a chicken." Kevin: "I'll trade you for...painting my shed." Eddy: [irked] "Trade shmade, paint your own lousy shed." Kevin: "No sweat. I'll just take this sawdust and–" Eddy: "No wait um...so where's the paint?" Kevin: "What paint?" Eddy: "How do we paint the shed with no paint?" Kevin: "You figure it out. Dork!"

[Jimmy is in his room, doing a still life of a fruit bowl.] Jimmy: [polishing an orange] "Darn waxy buildups. Perfect." [painting] "You're a pretty dog–huh?" [He looks out to see the Eds have taken over his studio.] Eddy: "How's it going, Rembrant?" Jimmy: [running into his room] "My fresco is ruined!" Eddy: "Jimmy, wait! Just give us some paint! Jimmy, c'mon!" [After recieving no reply, he tries to break the door down.] Jimmy: [cowering in a corner] "How much must an artist suffer? Oh, the torment." Eddy: [reaching under the door] "Come out here, willya? We just need some lousy paint." Jimmy: [sighting the groping hand] "AAAH!" Eddy: "Where are ya, ya little–" [a biting sound is heard] "YOW! He bit me! Jimmy–bit me! Jimmy bit me!" Edd: "A starving artist, I suppose." [he snickers] "I couldn't resist." [He marches up to Jimmy's door.] "Pardon me, Jimmy, perhaps we could interest you in a trade?" Jimmy: "A trade?" [he thinks] "Clams!" Edd: [taken aback] "Clams?" Eddy: "Clams? Where the heck do you get–" Jimmy: [opening the door] "No clams, no paint." [He slams the door shut.]

Eddy: "Clams? What's with clams?" [The Eds ring a doorbell.] "Could you spare some clams?" [They rush to another door.] Edd: "Pardon me, you wouldn't happen to have any clams, would you?" Eddy: [to yet another person] "Say, you haven't seen any clams around here, have ya?" Edd: [at another house] "Could we borrow a cup of clams?" Ed: [ringing another doorbell] "Could Eddy come out to play?" Eddy: "I'm right beside you, Ed." Ed: "Hi, Eddy!" ''[A sudden noise comes from the sewers. A manhole cover is lifted and pushed aside. Plank climbs out, wearing scuba gear. Jonny follows him, dressed the same way.]'' Jonny: "Boy, Plank, you're hard to beat when it comes to gathering clams!" Plank: Edd: "Clams?" Ed: [heading towards Jonny] "Is that Jonny?" Eddy: "The clam master has arrived." Edd: [scratching his head] "My, how convenient."

Eddy: [to Jonny] "Just what we're looking for. Toss a few of those clams our way, Jonny boy." Jonny: "Trade ya, Eddy." Eddy: [put out] "Oh sure, why not." Jonny: "We'd like an anchor!" Eddy: "An anchor? What are you, nuts? I'm going home!" [He walks into the open manhole.] Ed: [peering down at Eddy] "But I love chickens, Eddy!"

''[The Kankers are sitting on their sofa, reading a copy of "Tire Iron Weekly" and giggling. The doorbell rings, and they rush to get it.]'' The Kankers: "Visitors!" Lee: "Out of the way!" Marie: [fighting with her sisters over who gets to open the door] "How's a knuckle sandwich sound?" [She pushes them away.] "Ha!" ''[She opens the door to reveal a tall man in a trenchcoat. Upon closer inspection, the man is revealed to be the Eds, standing on one another.]'' Tall Man: "Greetings, ladies. Um, we're doing a survey, and–" [His chest taps him.] Tall Man's Chest (Edd): "Eddy!" Tall Man: "Oh, I mean, ahem–" [his voice deepens] "I'm doing a survey, and–" Lee: "Our mom's not home." Marie: "Yeah, take a hike." [The Kankers giggle.] Tall Man: "I was wondering, how many anchors do you own?" May: "That's stupid." Lee: "You look familiar, mister." Eddy: "Huh?" [as his costume begins to shake] "Stop it, will ya?" May: "You were on an infomercial?" Tall Man: "Um, no, yes. I'm very well known. Want my autograph?" Ed: [sticking his head out] "I'm the legs." [The disguise collapses.] Edd: [clinging to Ed] "Oh my. Exposed." Marie: "It's our boyfriends!" Lee: "Eddy's such a weasel." Marie: "Group hug!" May: "Let's kiss them!" Ed: "Oh no, not me!" [He runs away, dragging his friends behind him.] Eddy: "Run, Ed, run!" [They leave the trailer park.]

Jonny: [on a swing with Plank] "Listen to the clams gurgle in the bucket, Plank." Eddy: "Got your anchor, Jonny." [He hands Jonny a rope.] "Allow me." ''[He spins the tire swing in a circle. The rope winds around Jonny, tying him up. Ed comes in, carrying a large rock.]'' "Wise trade, Jonny. Clams for an anchor. I'm such a sucker." [to Edd] "Quick, let's get over to Kevin's." [Edd points at Jonny, who has managed to get free and is clinging to the bucket.] Eddy: "All right, all right! We couldn't get an anchor. Can we trade for something else?" Plank: Jonny: "Plank wants to trade!"

''[Sarah is playing badminton with Nazz. She draws back her racket, but when she moves to hit the birdie she is unable to.]'' Sarah: "HEY!" Eddy: "Give me your racket, Sarah." Sarah: "My serve!" ''[She hits Eddy into the net. Eddy flies back into his friends.]'' "DON'T EVER TOUCH MY RACKET!" Ed: [pleading] "Sarah, we need it to trade for a chicken. Please?" Sarah: "I'll trade you for a giant teddy bear." Eddy: [despairing] "When will it end?" Ed: "Back to Jimmy's!" [He herds them away.]

''[Someone knocks on Jimmy's door. He looks through the peephole.]'' Jimmy: "What do you want?" Eddy: "Giant teddy bear?" Jimmy: "Plums." Eddy: [growling in frustration] "What's with the food?" Edd: "Plums are good for you, Eddy."

Rolf: [picking a plum] "So, back again, wanting Rolf's plums, confused Ed-boys? Do you not want my egg?" Eddy: [exasperated] "Yes, we want the egg! But we need these plums first!" Rolf: "No plums, as I am still waiting for my sawdust. Do not fool Rolf!" Eddy: [sarcastic] "Oh, I know, let's trade!" [He fishes through his pockets.] "How about a nice comb for those plums?" Rolf: "I have many, thank you." Eddy: "I should have noticed." [looking through Edd's pockets] "Let's see, a 'Condensed Manners for the Advanced' book?" [recieving no response, pulling out an abacus] "Okay, a, a–" Edd: "Abacus, Eddy." Ed: "I got a yo-yo." [He plays with it.] "That is called 'Walking the Dog' " Eddy: [despairing] "It's over, Double D. No eggs, no chicken, no omelets." Rolf: [playing with the yo-yo and laughing] "It is so simple, I am enjoying myself!" Eddy: [hopeful] "Yo-yo for plums, Rolf?" Rolf: "Yes, Ed-boy. I have never seen such a thing. My family will sit around, telling stories of produce spread and Rolf's yo-yo for generations." Eddy: "Well..." Rolf: [giving him the plums] "Ya ya. Goodbye." Eddy: "Be right back."

''[The Eds go from house to house. They trade the plums for the bear, and the bear for the racket.]'' Eddy: "Ed, wait!" Edd: [pointing in the other direction] "Jonny's this way!" Ed: "Fore!" [with the clams] "Follow me!" [The Eds bring the paints to the shed, and the sawdust to Rolf's.]

Eddy: [standing in front of the sawdust-filled trashcan] "So, here's the sawdust. Cough up the egg, Rolfy boy." Rolf: "Yes, the trade is complete." [He holds up the egg.] "Behold." Edd: "Splendid." Eddy: [taking it] "It's mine." [to the egg] "What I went through for you, baby." Edd: "I'll design plans for an incubator." Ed: "It has my eyes." Eddy: "And your thick outer shell." Ed: "I want to hold it, Eddy." [He grabs the egg.] "Let's play!" Eddy: "Ed, no!" Ed: "You must be so cramped in there. Fly, chicken, fly!" [He opens the egg.] "Uh, the chicken's gone bad." Eddy: "Like my luck."