User blog:Dr. Angryslacks/Desolation Ed:You See Ed

Ave fellow Edcyclopedians, have you ever read Jspyster1's fanfiction story Desolation Ed? Even if not, then you are about to read a sneak peak to the official continuation to the E,EnE/Fallout crossover: You See Ed (only partially non-canon. Of course like Fallout Tactics, everybody only says half the title)

"Wait a minute I thought Jspy had his own sequel planned out." You might say, but allow the Edcyclopedian to explain.

You See: History
The idea for You See Ed stems back to when I first played Fallout 1, at the starting location is just outside Vault 13. A skeleton lay facing the entrance, if inspected, the sentence "You see Ed, Ed's dead." appears.

The next day I pointed this out to Jspy, who jokingly speculated that maybe Monobrow travelled all the way to the Vault only to collapse dead near the entrance. Needless to say, the concept of You See Ed was forged, a story that is about Ed doing just that. Later I then asked if I could not only make it, but have be canon to DE. He said yes (albeit also said it must be partially non-canon) and I went to work right away.

You See Ed takes approximately one year after the closing events of DE, although Jspy wanted DE 2 to take one year after DE as well. You See Ed is meant to take place before DE 2, and while plot details as to how this can occur will not be revealed for now. Because I don't know how, or have the resources to make a fancy Photoshop image. I will present you something even better for a teaser. The first half of chapter three: You See: Voyage

'Note: Links have been added to subjects that may confuse non-Fallout fans. If an "*" has placed at the end of something, it will be explaned later.'

'Double Note: This story is to be rated T on FanFiction.net, reader discretion advised. Oh, and Century just happens to be my preferred font thank you very much.'

You See: the Actual Chapter
  It was about half past three in the morning and Ed was about two thirds of the way to Hubcap Flats; the waxing crescent moon illuminating the way. Ed left Shady Sands only two hours ago after performing a less than reputable deed. The sun was due to rise in an hour and a half, and the oldest yet far from wise Ed-boy was making good progress.

  Needing a place to rest, Ed looked around his surroundings. Finding nothing of interest in the rather bleak wasteland, he continued for another minute or so until he saw an odd silhouette several dozen yards to the Northwest. Ed couldn't make out the shape entirely, but it     appeared      static and harmless.

  Checking the vicinity around him once more, Ed grasped his 9mm SMG slightly tighter and began to steadily move towards the shadow. During the fight against the Super Mutants, Ed was the best combination of grenadier/berserker of the group. Ready to chuck frag grenades at clusters of Centaurs, or charge straight towards a Mutie twice his size with either a sledgehammer or even only his bare fists. Eddy in contrast, preferred to use range and stealth to his advantage, shredding Raiders with Undertaker or using a trick he invented where he sticks an explosive into the trousers of an unsuspecting enemy. Lastly, Double D preferred the role of diplomat, he rarely fought physically against anyone, but he did diffuse a situation that could have turned ugly. Although he was also a great help in keeping everybody's gear in tip-top condition.

  Nearing the shadow Ed discovered it was in fact a lone tent. Looking around, a skeleton lay on the ground dried blood around the knees. The cadaver rested near a cleaver and a rather large pot, its contents evaporated or rotted. Entering the tent, Ed could smell the faint but evident stench of decaying meat and ashes. Turning on his Pip-Boy Light, he could see more dried blood and knives on the ground near the source of the smell which was indeed rotten meat. Ed thought for several seconds if the knives were combat ready, while this was not so as most of them were dull he took them anyway. He figured that somebody at the Hub would want them. Searching for a couple minutes longer, Ed hit the jackpot of the tent. He held up a dagger shaped object, the blade was outlined by a chain that resembled that of a chainsaw and upon depressing a trigger the teeth moved like a chainsaw too.

  Ed was rather surprised to find a Ripper; the melee weapon could dissect exposed flesh rather easily. The downsides are that it had a hard time cutting metal, and that it needed energy cells to power the motor. If the latter was not so, Ed could keep it for the journey to Vault 13. But like the other knives, it's just another source of caps to supply him.

  Next to the Ripper was a lone holotape partially covered by a small blanket, apparently used as a napkin due to some tiny pieces of meat sprinkled on it and it being slightly stiff from all the blood stains it held.

  Ed pondered briefly of what the holotape holds, could it be the collection of all his favorite TV shows? Could it be the last sci-fi movie made before the war? Could it even be the inevitable port of DOOM on the Pip-Boy? Ed played the tape, and an audio journal narrated by a man played the most recent entry.

  Entry log 490,   

''  It's been a year since that bastard cannibal Tom's luck ran out. I was spying on him from the little shack I made to get reconnaissance when some kid in a Vault suit showed up. He had a couple hairs visibly standing up, but the notable thing about him was that he was carrying a minigun. ''

''  Anyway, the kid hid his minigun behind some rocks; he obviously didn't know how dangerous Tom was. They talk for a couple minutes, and while the kid is daydreaming, Tom tries to kill him. They fight for a minute or so until the kid shoots Tom in the legs with a pistol, then the kid burns down his tent and heads to that zombie town while Tom is left for dead. ''

''  Now, I could have easily intercepted that kid before he knew what hit him, but instead I seized the chance and took over Tom's old campsite. Fortunately I managed to reach him before he bled out, I had waited far too long to miss the chance of extracting his life esscence. Now that my mission was complete, I was ready to return to the homestead, I do miss my family. Instead I decided to erect a new tent right over Tom's old one, let the fool rot where he lay and await for new blood. My family will just have to wait. ''

  After hearing the journal play, Ed figured it was time to continue. Yet he didn't think until now on what he brought with him. Taking another minute to check what weapons he had despite that this bloodsucker could return any time now. He placed his burlap sack on the ground and began sorting them out. When he finished he ended up having his gravy and oil thermoses, his Vault 13 jumpsuit, five sponges of assorted colors, a 9mm SMG with a single clip of ammo loaded, four kitchen knives all in poor condition, a cleaver, a Ripper, about fifty caps and the Vault 23 jumpsuit he was wearing. Ed completely disregarded food and water because he thought he would not only make it to the Hub before they were needed, but use the caps with him to get something to eat when he got there.

  When Ed finished inventory, he left the tent to head further North towards the Hub. However, Ed didn't step more than fifteen feet before being greeted by the campsites inhabitant.

 " Well, it's nice to meet a friendly face around here, and even if you're not friendly I do like your       face      . Especially your eyes, so stressed with webs of blood flowing about; it would be a real shame to let that blood go to waste right Edward?" Spoke a figure emerging from the shadows, this man was indeed the same one from the audio log.

  Dressed in only a dirty burgundy vest and some tan pants with a few blotches of blood stained about. The person must have been nocturnal as his skin was very pale, or that was because he was an albino. The latter was proven when Ed flashed his Pip-boy Light into the bald vampire wannabe who despite not flinching his eyes radiated a bright crimson.

 " How do you know my name vampire? What dark horde are you allied with, and how many are following me? " Ed stammered at his foe while pulling out his SMG. The vampire begins to creep forward, as Ed questions him. "Do not step further Acolyte of the Undead! In the name of Joe McCarthy and everything that's holy,* I shall smite you!" Ed smugly yelled with his quote from one of his favorite video games. He pointed his SMG at the vampire, who only chuckled as Ed fired a few rounds. Before impact, the Acolyte jumped into the darkness caused by the moon being shrouded by a cloud. It didn't help either that Ed was very inaccurate.

<p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in">  The wasteland fell dark and silent, Ed could only hear his slightly heavy breathing. He has seen a lot of scary things in his adventures with Eddy, but this was new. Ed has never fought a vampire impersonator before, and this guy was good at his job. Ed flashed his Pip-Boy Light around the campsite finding his predator near the tent. Ed expended more of his precious ammunition, only to miss his target when it leaped to the left. Ed quickly pointed the light in that direction, but he found nothing. As if the Acolyte vanished into thin air.

<p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in">  Ed's instincts kicked in when he quickly turn around, only to have his gun swatted out of his hand by the Acolyte, who now was adorning black gloves with disposable razor blades sewn in. The swing left the nocturnal being wide open, and Ed pressed his advantage with a powerful right hook. The Acolyte however dodged it, and proceeded to tackle the Ed boy to the ground.

<p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in"> " Why struggle Edward? In the end, you will die by my hand anyway." The hemophiliac hissed, attempting to grab Ed's throat, which his gloves would cut into. Ed struggled to keep the vampire's hands at bay, razors scraped Ed's exposed left hand. He silently winces as the blades make shallow cuts in his hand and begins to be overcome by the vampires unnatural might "Ah, you already begin to bleed, my power grows as your strength weakens Edward. This fight is clear evidence that if you can be killed this easily, your friends and family would contain horrible life nectar, I'll extract it nonetheless."

<p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in">  Ed had enough of this guy's crap, this guy has now threatened Sarah, Double D, everyone. Ed knew if he were to die now, this guy would then hunt down everyone, never to rest until he drank their blood. In one final burst of adrenaline, Ed forced the Acolyte's grip toward the vampire. The hemophiliac somewhat expected this, but was forced backward by Ed's overwhelming might. Seizing the brief opportunity, Ed dashed to his feet to swing a few punches at his foe. Apparently the vampire was so stunned that while he dodged most of Ed's cumbersome attacks, he ran out of energy which allowed Ed to land his right hook right between the Acolyte's eyes.

<p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in">  The vampire was knocked onto the ground with a bloody nose. Time seemed to slow down as he fell, Ed noticed his sack lay nearby and pulled the Ripper out of it. He saw that the Acolyte was still on the ground, slightly disoriented by the punch in the nose. Ed charged at his foe, sweat dripping down his face, breathing quickly and even more heavily. Ed leaped onto the vampire, using as much force as he could muster, he plunged the Ripper into the middle of the vampire's chest.

<p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in">  As the cloud passed, the moon began to shed light upon the wasteland once more. Ed turned off his Pip-Boy Light, and saw a small device attached to the vampire's wrist. The device was a Stealth Boy, but was damaged by the fall rendering it useless. The vampire looked at his chest, even after Ed let go of it, the Ripper slightly but noticeably shaking in it's place.

<p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in">  The Ripper had punctured the vampire wannabe's heart.

<p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in"> " Perhaps your *cough* family will live on…" The Acolyte gurgled in its own blood for a change, "Still, even after using the syringe of pink fluid, the *cough* Cat-eye and my Stealth *cough* Boy, I still lost…"

<p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in"> " You're not even a real vampire, you're just a cheater!" Ed replied, at this point Ed's stamina began to wear out, he was utterly exhausted. "At least, nobody will be your source for strength anymore."

<p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in">  The Acolyte began to laugh, only stopping to cough. "You fool, I'm *cough* immortal! You may have defeated me now, but I will rise once more. I simply have too much *cough* willpower to die by your hand Edward, *cough* I have too much willpower to be killed by    anyone!     "

<p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in">  Sick and tired of the man, Ed grabbed the Ripper and depressed its trigger. Despite quitting almost immediately, the damage was done. Ed yanked out the blood-drenched Ripper, held it over his head triumphantly, and proceeded to make a five* second long scream at the top of his lungs composing of  '   "REMEMBER REACH!" '  He dropped the Ripper in his sack, and continued onward towards the Hub despite wheezing from both the fight and his yell.

You See: Behind the Cog
Now is the time to explain those asterisks.

When I first presented the chapter to Jspy, He was surprised that somebody remembered that quote from ''Destroy All Humans! ''However, despite praising the quote, he then stated that it "makes no sense in the context it's being used in" while further explaning the downside of pop-culture refrences. Afterward he compared McCarthyism to Vampirism on the ground that "both movements are/were led by neurotic bloodsuckers" While I was revovering from my burns, he suggested that it would "make sense, and be ten times more awesome..." if Monobrow was fighting a certain different foe.

Near the end of his review, he overall praised the combat scene, yet claimed a fifteen second long Halo: Reach reference was "a tad overboard" However, because I wanted to keep the phrase to ensure one of the most decisive battles in Humanity's desperate attempts to defeat genocidal aliens would be remembered. It was shortened to five seconds.

And that, my fellow Edcyclopedians is only a drop in the bucket of what You See Ed is meant to be. I request you give me your feedback on this chapter.