Nagged to Ed/Script

''[We are in a garage. A bug is crawling across what appears to be a workshop desk.]'' Edd: [picking it up with tongs] "Not so fast, little fella!" [He puts the bug in a jar.] Ed: "I saw this in a movie. ' I Married a Thorax! ' " Edd: [looking over his insect collection] "Ants, check. Millipedes, check. Moths–" Eddy: "Yep. It's a bug." Edd: [holding up an empty jar] "Well, Eddy, the time has arrived for my monthly insect expedition!" [handing him supplies] "A pair of galoshes and sterile gloves to avoid bacteria and germs." Eddy: "Insects bug me." Edd: [holding out a shovel and some gloves] "Ed, for you." Eddy: [intentionally misusing the equipment] "Okay. Ready." Ed: [wearing a glove on his head] "Catch." [He blows the glove up until it shoots off his head.] Edd: "So, let us proceed to the forest!" [He leads the way.] Eddy: "Follow Nature Boy."

[The Eds are in the forest.] Edd: "Isn't it magnificent? All the splendors of nature, displayed in one giant petri dish full of life!" [As he speaks, the atmosphere of the forest changes, becoming darker and scarier.] Ed: "I think I swallowed a bug." Eddy: [hearing a noise] "Huh? What was that?" [The camera zooms out to show that there's nothing there.] Eddy: "That's it! This nature stuff is for the birds." [He stomps off and disappears around a corner.] "WHOAOOO!" Ed and Edd: "Eddy?" [They go after Eddy and find him staring at an enormous spiderweb.] Ed: [entranced] "Wow way big." Edd: "It's a masterpiece of nature!" Eddy: "Looks like my grandmother's hairnet. Well, let's go guys. ED!" [Ed is in the center of the web, bouncing on it.] Eddy: "Get down, you maniac!" Ed: "Yee-haw, it's sticky!" Edd: "You're disturbing the eco-environment!" [They hear a noise.] Ed: "What was that?" Edd: "Now you've done it. Ed, I suggest..." ''[He gulps. Eddy starts shivering.]'' Chanters: "Ed, Edd 'n Eddy. Sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Eddy: "Ed! Get off that thing!" [Spooky laughter is heard.] Ed: "Huh?" [he tries to get down] "Help me, guys! I don't want the fluids drained from my body!" Eddy: "Hold on, Ed! We'll rescue ya!" ''[Edd and Eddy try to pull Ed loose. Meanwhile, the chant starts again.]'' Chanters: "Ed, Edd 'n Eddy. Sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G." ''[Ed is pulled loose. The laughter is heard again, and the Eds run through the forest. They suddenly run into three pairs of eyes.]'' Chanters: "Ed, Edd 'n Eddy. Sitting in a tree." [The Eds run away.] Chanters: ''"K-I-S-S-I-N-G." [The Eds run into the eyes again.] Chanters: ''"Ed, Edd 'n Eddy. Sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N–" [The Eds run again.] Edd: [spotting an exit] "A way out. Through the trees!" [The Eds follow it and plunge headfirst into swampy muck.] Eddy: "Help! Quicksand!" Ed: "Oh no!" Edd: "My eyes!" ''[The Eds see something that makes them clam up. The spooky laughter is heard again, and three figures step in front of the camera.]'' The Eds: "AAAAAHHH!"

''[We are now in a trailer park. The camera circles around and centers in on a blue trailer. Inside, the Eds are lying on the floor, wearing robes.]'' Lee: [standing over them with May and Marie] "Hey Eds, so happy you dropped in!" Marie: "Hope you like our dads' robes!" ''[The Eds sit up with a start. Edd is wearing a robe that says "Bubba," Ed is wearing one that says "Rod," and Eddy has on a robe reading "Butch."]'' Eddy: "How did we get into these?" ''[The Kanker Sisters lean in and attempt to kiss them. The Eds flee to the wall, and the Kankers giggle.]'' Edd: [in an undertone] "This is not good." Lee: [as she and her sisters flop down around the Eds] "Go ahead. Yell. No one will hear you." May: "I'm May Kanker." Marie: "I'm Marie Kanker." Lee: "And I'm Lee Kanker. We're the Kanker sisters. We just moved in." Eddy: "I'm Eddy." Ed: "I'm Ed." Edd: "I'm–" Marie: "We know. Double D. Don't you worry about that." Eddy: "Uh, do you girls know where our clothes are?" Lee: "Oh they're drying outside. You boys sure were dirty." [Eddy jerks up, confused.] "We're gonna pop into the kitchen for a bit, boys, and fix up some home cooking for ya." Marie: "We'll be right back." May: [leading the pack] "Hey! Wait for me!" [The Kanker sisters exit.] Edd: [nervous] "This is very strange. Let's go!" Eddy: [dragging him back] "Hold it, Double D. Where's your manners? They're new here. And they said they were gonna make us some food, didn't they? So why don't we just hang out a bit, eat for free, and then we can split. C'mon, let's check this place out!" Edd: [still not satisfied] "Where exactly are we?"

[Eddy stares out the window at the trailer park.] Eddy: "Huh. Looks like a postcard I sent my brother once." Ed: "Ah, TV!" ''[He turns it on and gets only static. He pounds it a few times, but still recieves nothing. He pounds it again, and then tries turning the knob. Even after this, he still gets nothing.]'' "Ah it's a rerun." [He turns the TV off and picks up a diving helmet.] "Nice space helmet." [He puts it on and sits on the couch.] "Take me to your plumber." Eddy: "Nice head, Ed. Get it? It rhymes. Head? Ed? I crack me up." Edd: [looking at the bookcase] "Interesting. Hub Cap Digest." ''[He picks it up and flips through it. All the pages are blank.]'' "This book has no print. These pages are blank!" Eddy: [pointing at something] "Ha ha look! Artwork!" [He laughs.] "It's Ed and May! How cute!" [His gaze then falls on one of Edd and Marie.] Edd: "That me?" Eddy: [seeing a drawing of Eddy and Lee getting married] "AAAAH! That's not funny!" [He tears it off the wall and crumples it up.] Marie: [entering with a tray on which are cups of milk] "Okay, boys! Come and get some nice cold delicious powdered milk!" ''[The Eds rush over and drink from the glasses. After each sip, they exhale white powder into the air.]'' Marie: [putting a videotape in the VCR] "How about a video? Fish Bowl 2. A classic." [The Eds sigh and sink into the couch, contented.]

Marie: [back in the kitchen with her sisters] "It's so nice to have the boys home." May: "Hey, I'm doing the fish sticks!" [She snatches the box from Marie.] Marie: "Then give me the cleave-a-clob!" Lee: "Girls, shut up! We got lunch to make?" [She grabs a stick of lard.] "The way to a man's heart is through his arteries." [She dumps the entire stick on top of the burgers.] "Add a little Kanker special sauce...ketchup!" [She drowns the food in the condiment.]

[The food is being brought in to the Eds.] The Kankers: "Dinner's ready." ''[The scent is so tantalizing that the Eds levitate towards the grub. They take it back to the couch and dig in.]'' The Kankers: [sighing] "They're so dreamy." May: [going upstairs with her sisters] "Be back in a minute, boys!" Lee: "Yeah. We're gonna go and freshen up!" ''[The Eds continue to eat. Eddy stops after a bite and pulls out a cog wheel. He throws it behind the couch and continues his meal.]''

[The Kankers come downstairs, now wearing prettier clothes.] The Kankers: "We're back." Marie: "Notice anything new, Eddy?" ''[When he doesn't respond, she waves a hand in front of his eyes. Eddy doesn't notice.]'' Lee: "The finest in product by-products! Only the best for you." [Eddy pays no attention to her statement.] Eddy: "Hey, how about a refill on that powdered milk stuff?" May: "Do you like our Kanker Burger, Big Ed?" Ed: [talking with his mouth full] "It's good, yum!" May: "Don't talk with your mouth full mister!" ''[Marie puts a pillow behind Edd. Edd starts.]'' Marie: "AAH!" Edd: "Please refrain from touching me when I'm eating. Thank you." Marie: [poking him] "I'll touch whenever I want, buddy boy!" Edd: "Is there a problem?" The Kankers: "Everything's fine!"

[The Eds are watching Fish Bowl 2 when the Kankers move to stand in front of the TV.] Eddy: [annoyed] "Hey hey move it! Out of the way! This is the best part!" Lee: "Move it?" Marie: [getting in Eddy's face] "It's not enough that we've worked hard and broken our backs for you?" Lee: [in Ed's face] "If things don't change around here, we're leaving!" May: [in Edd's face] "It's time you good-for-nothings started to pull our own weight around here!" Ed: [to Eddy] "What is up with them?" [They both look to Edd, who shrugs.] Marie: [pointing to the food remnants] "Clean this mess up right now!" [The Eds rush to take care of it, but before they can start Lee calls them.] Lee: "Hey! Over here! Clean this mess!" [The Eds are in front of a sink full of dishes.] ''[Ed comes up with an idea. He lifts the couch, and the Eds slide the mess under it.]'' Lee: "You call that clean?" [she throws some clothes at Eddy] "Get washing!" Marie: [handing Edd a brush] "And scrubbing!" Lee: [grabbing Edd by the ear] "Come along, little man." Marie: "Time to clean up!" ''[She grabs Eddy by the hair. Ed laughs at his friends' misfortune until Lee hands him a toilet brush.]'' Lee: "And you!" [Ed heads off to clean.]

''[There are noises coming from a toilet. The lid lifts slightly and Ed peeps out.]'' May: "Make it shine!" [She slams the lid back down.]

''[Edd is in front of a sink, washing dishes. Ed suddenly appears and wrecks the stack.]'' Edd: "Ed, you ruined my dishes." Ed: [laughing, he passes Eddy] "Headed outside, Eddy!" Eddy: "Slacker." ''[While looking at Ed, he collides with Edd. Their piles, of laundry and dishes, respectively, fly all over the place.]'' Lee: [painting her toenails] "That better be fighting over me I hear in there!"

''[Ed is washing the windows. In the kitchen, Edd is getting up.]'' Edd: "I'm going to sanitize the living area." Eddy: [close to the edge] "Okay. I'll clean this. I'll clean EVERYTHING!" ''[He throws the laundry in the sink, which is filled with soapy water, and stomps on it."

[Edd is cleaning the living room floor.] The Kankers: "Better shine it up nice!" [Ed enters from the outside, mud on his shoes.] The Kankers: "Hey! Mud tracker! You're tracking mud!" Edd: "Mud?" ''[Ed looks down. Through the film of his helmet, he can clearly see the mud.]'' Ed: "Uh-oh." ''[He exacerbates the problem by walking forward and tracking more mud. He then steps in Edd's bucket of water, which gives him momentum, sending him uncontrollably towards the kitchen.]'' May: "You better not wreck Daddy's bucket!" ''[Ed heads into the kitchen and collides with Eddy, who is holding laundry. Eddy passes the laundry to him.]'' Eddy: "Hang these outside!" [He pushes Ed in the opposite direction.] Ed: "Uh. Okay. EDDY!" ''[He collides with Edd, who is scrubbing the floor again. They both topple over. Lee comes over and lectures Ed, but all that is heard is a faint mumbling.]'' Lee: "...you should go back to diving for clams." Eddy: [fed up] "THAT'S ENOUGH!" [The Kankers begin to snivel.] Marie: "T-this is the th-thanks we get for our hard work?" [The Kankers run into their room crying.] Eddy: "Uh-oh."

[The Kankers are sitting on the bed in their room.] May: [sniffling] "Us girls have got to get ourselves together." [The doorknob turns and the Eds peek in.] "Haven't you done enough damage already? Now get out of here! And never come back!" [She slams the door in their faces.] Eddy: [satisfied] "Well, you heard her. Let's go!" Edd: "This has been quite educational." Eddy: "Hello, freedom." [Eddy opens the door only to come face to face with the Kankers.] Eddy: "AAAAH!" May: "Just a minute there. What about Eddy Jr.?" [She pulls a string on a doll of Eddy, and Eddy's laugh plays.] Lee: [with a doll of Ed] "And Ed Jr.!" May: [as Marie pulls out an Edd doll] "And Double D Jr.!" The Eds: "AAAH!" Eddy: "That's it! RUN FOR IT!" [The Eds run away screaming, still wearing the robes.] Lee: "That's it, you cowards! Run away!" Marie: "Get lost!" May: "And don't trip on your shoelaces!" [happily watching them] "Look at them run." Marie: [dreamily] "Just like a real man." Lee: [blowing a kiss] "I think I'm in L-U-V love!" [The Kankers sigh, and then laugh evilly.]