To Sir with Ed

"To Sir with Ed" is the 13th episode of Season 2 and the 39th episode of Ed, Edd n Eddy. In this episode, Eddy finds himself home alone with Nazz as his babysitter. The Eds are convinced that Nazz and Eddy are on a date, so they try to help him make look good for his "date".

Plot
The episode opens with Eddy fooling around with his hair, briefly mocking Jimmy when his hair changes into Jimmy's coiffure. Eddy asks his Mom whether dinner was ready, only to be met with silence. After calling two more times, annoyance becomes panic as he realizes that he's all alone. In the next scene, Ed is standing in Edd's room next to the phone when it starts ringing. In typical Ed fashion, he picks up the bone next to the phone and starts acting like a dog, leaving an amused Edd to answer the phone. Eddy is on the other end, and cowering under his bed sheets, tries to convince Edd and Ed (who is doing unspeakable things to the floor and Edd's leg) to come on over. He eventually resorts to lying about a "huge moaning snake under the bed" to make them come. The doorbell rings not too long afterwards, and Eddy eagerly rushes over, tears the door open, and pulls in Nazz.

Eddy is stunned to see the local beauty in his house, and is even more flabbergasted when she offers to make him dinner. As Nazz heads towards the kitchen to start cooking, Edd and Ed charge in mere seconds later, flattening a shocked Eddy against the ceiling. After Ed performs a rather questionable "venom removal" technique ("like in the movies!"), Eddy immediately brings his friends' attention to the fact that Nazz "just swaggered in and started making dinner!" A baffled Edd can only ask one question: "You don't suppose this could be a… DATE!?"

The thought of Nazz coming to his house for a date drives all confusion out of Eddy's mind, and kicks his ego into overdrive. Edd delves into a book about dating to try to aid Eddy, but Eddy is thoroughly convinced that he can charm Nazz through cash, "good looks", and a smoking jacket (with a complimentary bubble pipe!). Unfortunately, Eddy's resolve crumbles the moment Nazz calls him down for dinner, and he tries to back out of the date by hiding in his dresser. The ever-helpful Ed brings the dresser to the table instead. However, no dressers are allowed; thus Ed chucks the dresser aside before being unceremoniously shoved under the table with Edd to avoid detection. The dinner goes badly for Eddy: He can't compliment Nazz's cooking without devolving into gibberish; eats a part of the table by accident, and Eds attempt to help only results in him being covered in macaroni. Nazz, unaware of Eddy's advances, tells him to go take a bath, while she answers the door.

As it turns out, the Urban Rangers Rolf and Jonny 2x4 are at the door, preparing to give Eddy's Mom a giant block of ice. Rolf realizes mid-speech that he is talking to Nazz, and criticizes Jonny for mixing up the directions to Eddy's House. Kevin cruises by and stops to mock the Urban Rangers, but upon seeing Nazz, asks what she was doing at Eddy's House. What she reveals is immensely amusing to Kevin and the others. Kevin invites himself in to go see "the little dork" while Rolf sheepishly grins at an irritated Jonny for his earlier mistake.

Meanwhile, Eddy is stubbornly refusing to get into the bathtub, despite Edd's constant coaxing (and a stern reminder from Nazz). Edd points out that it's Eddy's date, and he should at least comply with Nazz's request, to which Eddy retorts that "at least [he] could get [a date]." An offended Edd resorts to using Ed to strong-arm Eddy into the tub, complete with stripping him of his clothes and leaving them on the counter. Downstairs, Rolf demonstrates one of the many uses of the ice block, sculpting an ice chicken out of it. Upon seeing the frozen fowl, Ed joyfully glomps it, freezing himself. Strangely ignoring the fact that Edd and Ed are already in the house, Nazz decides to go check on Eddy, causing Edd to panic since she was deviating from the book.

Back upstairs, Eddy hears music (from Kevin's boombox) and upon additionally hearing footsteps, freaks out. Not wanting to be seen naked by his date, he tries to grab his clothes, but is forced to hide in the tub after the doorknob turns. Thankfully, it's only Ed with his new ice chicken. Relief becomes horror as Ed slips on a bar of soap, the ice chicken landing into the bathtub so forcefully that it breaks through the floor, spilling water over everyone. Ed faints after the decapitated ice chicken head falls into his hands, and Eddy crawls out of the wreckage, still naked. Nazz loses her temper upon seeing the damage, and orders him to go to bed. Confused, Eddy wonders why she was ordering him around like that. Wasn't this supposed to be a date? A bemused Nazz reveals the horrible truth to him: She had been hired to babysit him while his parents were out. The revelation stuns both Eddy and Edd, and everyone else begins to laugh at Eddy for believing that he was on a date with Nazz. Humiliated and infuriated, Eddy attacks Edd in anger for misleading him.

After the wreckage has been cleaned up, the party is once again in full swing, with Edd serving drinks, Kevin, Nazz, and Jonny dancing, and Ed running around with the ice chicken head as a hat. Eddy cannot sleep due to the noise, and decides to sneak a look at the party. Unfortunately, Nazz closes the door on Eddy, catching his head on the door, with Rolf remarking that "[they] have woken the baby!" Ed orders Eddy back to his room, to which Eddy tries to slide back down. However, his tongue gets caught, leaving him trapped and begs for Ed to open the door. Ed just casually grabs Jonny's cap and turns it into a diaper for Eddy's tongue, and the episode ends with an iris out on the diapered tongue, amidst Eddy's muffled screaming.

Memorable Quotes
Edd: "For all our sake, let's hope you're housebroken, Ed."
 * Ed: [crouching with a bone in his mouth and pleading puppy eyes] "Train me, Double D! Arf! Arf!"

Edd: "That's so superficial, Eddy. Female admirers want meaningful things like sincerity, respect, and good grooming." Ed: "And potato chips!"
 * Eddy: "My brother told me that chicks are only moved by one thing - cash!"

Edd: [unimpressed] "'Or what?' is a good question. But I feel the pipe is a bit much." Eddy: [removing the pipe] "You're right, it'll distract her from my devilish good looks."
 * Eddy: [boastful in smoking jacket and pipe] "Do I look like 20 bucks or what?"


 * Edd: [knocking romantic inspiration for six] "May I suggest writing Nazz a poem? An ode comparing her eyes to bottomless pools of beauty, or a sonnet detailing your boundless admiration for her personal hygiene."


 * Ed: "Bath time for Eddy, ooh look at the macaroni behind your ears, mister!"

Eddy: "[baffled] You actually carry around a-" [gets interrupted by Nazz]
 * Edd: [in singsong while trying to tempt Eddy into the bath] "I'll let you borrow my loofah!"

Eddy: "Nope." Edd: "Excuse me, but is that a word? Eddy, need I remind you the values of 'courtship'?" Eddy: "I think you need a bath!" Edd: "But it's your date!" Eddy: "At least I can get one!" Edd: [offended gasp] "Touche, Eddy. But I have an ace up my sleeve." [snaps finger] Ed: [grabs Eddy from behind] "Skip to my lou my darling." [strips Eddy's clothes off-screen and puts him in the bathtub, splashing Edd]
 * Edd: [hearing Nazz apparently coming upstairs] "Oh dear, she sounds annoyed, Eddy please immerse yourself."

Rolf: "Stop! Do not touch the ice fowl!"
 * Ed: [sees Rolf's ice sculpture] "Ooh, a chicken!"
 * Ed: [Getting frozen by the ice] "I..l-l-love...ch-ch-ch-chickens!"


 * Ed: [wearing ice chicken head sculpture] "Cluck cluck cluck, has anybody seen my egg? I am sure I laid it here somewhere."


 * Rolf: [receiving liquid refreshment from Edd] "Ah, yes. Good. Rolf's thirst is only comparable to the dryness of Papa's chafed elbow."


 * Ed: [with shaved head and no eyebrow or upper shirts] "Haircut?"

Ed: [terrified and fainting into tub] "Chicken Head!"
 * [after Ed and Eddy fall through the ceiling in the bathtub, Ed emerges from heavy bathtub to see the kids all dripping wet] [ice chicken head falls into Ed's hands]

Trivia

 * Goofs:
 * Eddy's house number is revealed to be 200, however in "Your Ed Here" his ID card shows it to be 220.
 * When Ed said "Train me, Double D", the captions say "Chain me, Double D!"
 * This is the second time that the Urban Rangers appear. Strangely enough, though, Jimmy is absent from the group. It is unknown what caused this; it is possible that his bedtime is earlier in the day than most other characters.
 * Rolf and Jonny are apparently very good at making ice sculptures.
 * No scams took place in this episode.
 * The book Edd was reading from was Birds Bees and Sweaty Palms.
 * When Ed and Edd first arrive at Eddy's House, they are wearing the same beekeeping suits that they wore in "Pop Goes the Ed," making this their second appearance. The beekeeping suits also have the word "Hive" crossed out and replaced with "Snake".
 * This was the first episode to take place entirely at night. The second episode is "Boom Boom Out Goes the Ed."
 * This is the first time Edd speaks French. He does this again in "For Your Ed Only."
 * This is the second time Rolf said "I love this music; it is so shiny!" The first time was in "Tag Yer Ed."
 * Even though Eddy and Nazz are supposed to be about the same age, and even though this is never the case in any other episode, Nazz talks to Eddy like he is much younger than her in this episode. A possible explanation is that she was getting a bit too much into the role of the babysitter.
 * The music during the party is the same as the music in "Pop Goes the Ed."
 * Apparently Kevin has mocked the Urban Rangers before as Rolf asked "Why must you mock us at every turn?".