My Fair Ed

"My Fair Ed" is the 16th episode of Season 3 and the 68th episode of Ed, Edd n Eddy. In this episode, Edd attempts to remodel his friends into proper gentlemen after they create major problems for the other kids.

Plot
As if it weren't enough for poor Edd to bear - having to put up with his two best buddies going through his grocery bags with a fine-toothed and critical comb but now their jarring and ill-mannered behavior is churning its way through every flower bed and backyard in the Cul-de-Sac. Ed and Eddy have found a way to spoil just about everyone's day. Eddy chases Ed with broccoli to make him eat it, and they begin wrecking innocent peoples' day, starting with Jimmy, who has just completed a unicorn on the fence for Sarah to behold, and they wind up squashed against the fence with wet paint, but that doesn't stop the rampage from progressing from bad to worse, as they unintentionally take out Rolf's eggplant garden, knock Kevin and Nazz off the former's bike, and finally leading with Ed grabbing Plank from Jonny's hands while making him spin around in circles. Ed then uses Plank to smack Eddy's hand, and the tables are turned as Ed is the chaser and Eddy the chasee when Ed gets the broccoli and chases Eddy with it. This causes a massive amount of agitation and outrage from the others, who have become fed up with being annoyed and injured by Ed and Eddy.

They ultimately decide that something has to be done, and they realize that there is only one person capable of such a difficult task: Edd. They confront Edd showing him all what Ed and Eddy did earlier to them and tell him that he needs to find a way to make the two behave better. To make matters worse, Kevin rudely threatens Edd with violence if he fails (he first ties Edd's hat into the shape of a pretzel then threatens to do it to his legs), ignoring his reasonable pleas that they won't listen to him. Left with no other choice, Edd accepts the task. Edd then tells all of this to Eddy who has just tricked Ed into running around a tree chasing nothing, and even making Ed think that he's almost got a hold of Eddy. As one would expect, this was far beyond Eddy's nature to even give a hoot about Edd's future safety, he told Edd to tell them to just ignore the malevolent behavior. Edd plays his guilt trip by saying to promise to come visit him at a sideshow, and Edd will be the laughingstock with pretzel legs (no salt) telling Eddy that they'll be able to function without him. Remembering the fact that Ed was a huge threat to the success of future scams, and without Edd mapping out the plans, Eddy realized he'd never get a quarter again, but he was ready with a plan. This plan would be to fake Edd out when the moment was correct, but until then keep the guise that it's in their blood to rampage, Edd happily accepts Eddy's "plea" for help, not realizing what he would get himself into much later. Ed is still seen merrily running around the tree, chasing nothing at all.

Luckily for Eddy and Ed though, Edd is something of an expert when it comes to table etiquettes, it's just a shame that they don't appreciate his good intentions. Edd, however is one step ahead of them this time and with the help of mother's soup and a few strips of sticking plaster (bandages that he will violently rip off their heads if they misbehave) he soon has the unruly duo seemingly under control. The antics at the table were starting with the boys chanting, "Food!" again and again, whipping off the first bandage on their heads, then Eddy pokes fun at the soup, getting the second bandage violently ripped off his head, then Ed laughs at Eddy's pain, getting his second bandage off of his head, too (but not before Edd tells him it is not polite to make fun of someone else's misfortune). When Edd has his back turned, Eddy rips off the third bandage on Ed's head, and Eddy too gets his third bandage ripped off. They believe that to be the end, but Edd still has more sticky bandages where those three came from. After being told to begin eating his soup, Eddy tries to threaten Edd with violence, but after seeing Edd's hand in the air, Eddy does this equation in his head: Edd's hand + sticky bandage torn off = huge amount of pain, and to avoid this, Eddy begins consuming the soup with no complaints on it. Ed has two bandages ripped off in one shot because Ed refused to regurgitate the bowl. Ed apologizes saying it won't happen again after this. After Eddy finishes his soup, he leaves to put his bowl and spoon away, Edd stops him and states he better not do anything mischievous in his kitchen, but Eddy denies that and states that is all in the past. Ed finishes his food and the two of them leave to clean up their dishes and do more good deeds.

Edd is well chuffed, it's a joy to see Eddy and Ed have become model citizens, kind, courteous and very helpful ... or are they? Because it soon becomes apparent that they're not behaving quite as he'd expected, in fact they're actually worse as they are taking the good deeds way too far! Jonny's kite gets stuck in a tree while flying it. Ed helps get it down, but destroys it in the process before giving it back to Jonny. Rolf is then shown unhappily washing his Nano's finery until Eddy arrives to do it for him. Eddy then suddenly takes Rolf and washes him up after cleaning up the finery. Edd is shocked that Ed and Eddy are taking their good behavior too seriously. He then sees Ed brushing Kevin's teeth against his will and Eddy tying Jimmy's hair and retainer to his shoelaces while tying his shoes. Edd tries to help Jimmy before being interupted by Rolf who is angry that he is wet. Nazz then arrives with a bag on her head saying "You don't want to know what they did to me!". Jonny comes out and says he is sick just thinking about what the two did. Sarah holding Jimmy says "Someone is going to pay for this!" and Kevin angrily says "I hate dorks!". After avoiding the kids, Edd tries to get Eddy and Ed to return to normal, but it doesn't work. Ed and Eddy then leave to continue doing their good deeds leaving Edd depressed with what he did to Ed and Eddy.

Poor Edd laments, he shouldn't have meddled with his friends' mucky manners. Ed and Eddy arrive and the latter asks if they can be of any assistance. Edd just wants his friends back and ignores them, However after giggling a bit, they confess they've been having him on all along with their "good" deeds. Edd is angry that they have tricked him like this and leaves. While they laugh their heads off. Edd suddenly comes back with broccoli as revenge for toying with his emotions. Ed and Eddy run away from it, and Ed accidentally devastates Kevin's Bike in the process. Better hide from Kevin, Edd! (Edd pleads for mercy while hiding in his house with Kevin having one of his bike pedals behind his back to hurt Edd with. Kevin even claims he has something for Edd when approaching the door.)

Memorable Quotes

 * Ed: [in the background] "If only we had a sack of potatoes."

Eddy: [annoyed] "Yeah? Well I say you're an idiot!" Edd: "Gentlemen, please! Have you two lost your senses? You could have bruised my bananas!"
 * Ed: "I say tomato."

Ed: "For free lunch from Double D, Eddy McGee!" [both laugh hysterically] Eddy: "Again, Ed. Why?" Ed: "Because Double D said so, Eddy the… uh, I don't know!" [both laugh more] Eddy: "You're a riot, Ed!" Ed: [seeing Edd coming with two bowls] "FOOD!" ''[Ed and Eddy then chant "FOOD!" to no end until Edd yanks out a bandage from both of their heads]''
 * Eddy: "Tell me again, Ed! Why are we wearing these bandages on our heads?"


 * Ed: [running away from the broccoli] "Stay away, fluffy green stalky thing!"


 * Rolf: [showing Edd an eggplant in its coffin] "Double D Ed-boy, look! Shed a tear for the once proud eggplant, its round and supple life trampled by your noodle-headed playfellows!"


 * Edd: [hat tied in a bow by Kevin and under threat to have his legs tied the same way] "Very well then, but promise me you'll visit me at the sideshows. I'll be the boy with the pretzel legs – no salt."


 * Edd: "Ed, let this be a lesson to you – never ingest the tableware."


 * Rolf: [scrubbing something in a bucket] "'Rolf wash this, Rolf wash that.' Why must Rolf remove the foul from Nano's finery?"


 * Jimmy: [in pain after Eddy tied his (Jimmy's) hair to his shoes] "I'm getting stretch marks!"


 * Rolf: [getting Edd's attention after being vigorously scrubbed by Eddy along with Nano's underwear] "Rolf was the son of a shepherd, now Rolf is the posterior of a duck!"

Edd: "My mother made that soup." [yanks a band aid from the back of Eddy's head] Eddy: "Yow!"
 * Eddy: "What a load of… What is this slop, anyways? I thought we're gonna eat something, not bury it."

Ed: "Gee Eddy I'm sorry [the broccoli lands on Ed's hand] Ah ha!" Eddy: [while holding his injured hand] "Ah!" Ed: [while chasing Eddy] "Devour the broccoli Eddy!"
 * Eddy: "Gotcha! Prepare to scarf the- [Ed smacks Eddy's hand with Plank sending the broccoli flying into the air] Youch! [as Ed smacks Eddy's hand using Plank] That hurt Ed."

Trivia/Goofs

 * The episode's title is a reference to the famous musical "My Fair Lady", in which a distinguished professor tries to pass off a Cockney flower girl as a princess. The plot of the episode is also similar to the musical, as Edd tries to reform Ed and Eddy into respectable members of society.
 * There were no scams in this episode.
 * We learn that Ed and Eddy are scared of broccoli, to the point of running in fear from it.
 * Edd's cry of "Not the screen door again Ed!" should trigger your memory, as Ed destroyed Edd's screen door before in "Button Yer Ed." This also showed and proved that at some point between the end of the latter episode and the beginning of this episode that Edd repaired his screen door only for Ed to destroy it again in this episode.
 * The word "food" is said at least 24 times in the episode.
 * This is one of few episodes where Rolf is unhappy about doing his chores. Usually, Rolf is proud of performing laborious tasks. Another episode where Rolf is not fond of doing his chores is "Stop, Look and Ed."
 * In certain parts of the episode after Edd gives Eddy and Ed the soup, the bandage marks disappear.
 * Running gags:
 * 1) Ed and Eddy getting scared of the broccoli when they see it.
 * 2) Edd trying to give Eddy and Ed better manners by pulling bandages off the back of their head when they misbehave.
 * While there is no evidence that supports it, being a random Ed moment, it is still hinted by Ed that Eddy's last name could possibly be "McGee". While this is unconfirmed, there is no evidence denying it. Ed also calls Eddy "Eddy McGee" again in "Mission Ed-Possible".
 * After Ed and Eddy ruin Rolf's eggplants, he says "My eggplants!", in response which makes this one of the few episodes in the series when Rolf refers to himself in first person. Most of the time he would refer to himself in the third person.
 * The Reconstituted Fava Bean Paste jar has the same color of the Garbanzo Paste jar as seen in Knock, Knock, Who's Ed?
 * Ed quotes two lines from previous episodes, one being "If only we had a sack of potatoes" from "Ready, Set, Ed", and "Eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs!" from "Who, What, Where, Ed", "Rambling Ed", and "Will Work for Ed."
 * After Ed crashed into Kevin and his bike, Kevin was completely fine with no scratches or injuries at all. But soon after when he is shown at a close up after his bike's destruction and later when he goes up to Edd's door, he has injuries on him.
 * The Kankers do not appear in this episode.
 * Apparently Edd's father gets easily agitated when the screen door is broken.
 * Although Sarah and Jimmy were both smashed into the fence by Ed, Jimmy is the only one shown injured when both should have been injured not just Jimmy.

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