Hands Across Ed

"Hands Across Ed" is the 7th episode of Season 2 and the 33rd episode of Ed, Edd n Eddy. In this episode, Eddy sees Ed do a little dance in the junkyard and decides that he should create a show that will show off people's talent and make some profit. The Eds start a telethon to raise money for Ed's (fake) eyebrow operation.

Plot
Edd's industrial-size electro magnet fails to attract any cash (just random metal objects, including Jimmy's retainer, which gets him pinned to a fence), from Kevin's pocket, although there's no denying that it's powers of attraction are strong. Unfortunately for the Eds though, what it seems best at attracting is Kevin and Rolf's wrath after their cover is blown. After yet another narrow escape, the sight of Ed parading star-like in a top hat in the Junkyard strikes Eddy with a brainwave.

The Eds roll out the red carpet and together, with fake cardboard cameras, manage to succeed in fooling all but Kevin into trying out for their big show. Eddy's method of auditioning is highly selective - although Nazz isn't the most skilled tuba player, Eddy gives her a shot due to her looks. Rolf prepares to perform a dance from his old country, but Eddy can't afford subtitles and sends him away. Plank tells jokes only he and Ed can hear so he's a nonstarter and Jimmy is in mainly to spite Sarah, while Sarah being Sarah and Eddy being Eddy means she gets the gleeful push. Being Eddy's Telethon show naturally means there's money involved somewhere, and the audience is soon having its heart-strings twanged by his sad tale of how all this selfless effort is to raise money for Ed's (fake) eyebrow operation (as his eyebrow is spreading over his stomach). Of course, as the shambolic show progresses and the pledge lines remain obstinately silent, the audience becomes anything but charitable, eventually the kids leave to do a show of their own.

When Rolf and Kevin's show and performance of the Hairless Otter get praise and attention, the Eds try to take their money away with the magnet again (money was thrown to Kevin and Rolf for their performance) only for the magnet to hit a dumpster and trap the Eds on it. Edd guesses he must have put the batteries in backwards. The lid then falls down with the Eds on it, trapping them as the episode fades to black.

Memorable Quotes
Eddy: "Like the knot in your head, Ed?"
 * Ed: "Ha ha ha. I can tie my shoes, Eddy."

Kevin: "Dorks." Rolf: "Yes, that is what I said." Kevin: "No. You said-" Rolf: [interrupting] "Ducks. See? Ducks." Eddy: [nervous] "Rolf. Kevin. Hate to interrupt so…" [the Eds run off] Kevin: "Get back here!" Eddy: [in the junkyard] "Quick, scatter!"
 * Rolf: [after the Eds fall out of the tree] "Rolf is not amused you - how do you say… ducks?"

Kevin: [face also off-screen] "Dorks, Rolf, dorks." Rolf: [still off-screen] "Dorks do not quack, Kevin." Kevin: "Whatever."
 * Rolf: [his face off-screen] "I think I saw the ducks run here, Kevin."

Ed: [looking around in the fridge] "Eddy, do you keep donations in the fridge?" [Eddy furiously hangs up]
 * Eddy: [hears phone ringing] "A pledge!" [answers] "Ed Telethon!"

Edd: [recoiling from Nazz's tuba blast] "Sign her up? Nazz singlehandedly annihilated all that is music!" Eddy: [daydreaming] "Yeah…"
 * Eddy: "Sign her up, Double D!"

Eddy: "NEXT!" [whispers to Edd] "There's no budget for subtitles."
 * Rolf: [auditioning] "I will be performing my country's traditional dance of the hairless otter."

Ed: [digging under the house] "Are donations bigger than a breadbox?" [Eddy furiously hangs up]
 * Eddy: [hears phone ring and answers] "Ed Telethon!"

Kevin: "Like my lunch!"
 * Edd: [nervously] "A phone call should come up any time."

Rolf: "Yeah! I smell it!"
 * Kevin: "This telethon stinks!"

Rolf: [mocking Ed] "Ya, please help me for my eyebrow is growing like a garden weed." [pulls both sides of his own eyebrow to resemble like Ed's]
 * Kevin: [imitating and mocking Eddy] "Oooh, welcome to the dork telethon. I'm your twerp host Eddy, won't you please help my poor and hairy friend?"

Sarah: "Look out!" [carpet opens up with Ed as cameraman, Edd as a reporter, and Eddy as the star] Edd: [as reporter] "Here we are on location with renaissance man, Mr. Eddy. Mr. Eddy, how about a scoop?
 * Jimmy: "Run away rug!"

Edd: "The bigger you are, the harder you fall." Ed [with a strainer on his head and over his eyes] "Is this a donation?" Eddy: "Ed's big." [tackles Ed]
 * Eddy: [after the telethon flopped] "They stole our audience, Double D!"


 * Ed: "I got corn stuck in my teeth!"

Trivia/Goofs

 * Here are the talents that the kids auditioned for:
 * Plank: Telling jokes
 * Rolf: The reenactment of the dance of the hairless otter
 * Nazz: Tuba playing
 * Jimmy and Sarah: Banjo playing and dancing
 * The red carpet on which Edd interviews Eddy disappears between shots.
 * This marks the second time Eddy came close to cursing. When Kevin and Rolf criticized the telethon, Eddy says "Yeah well you're a-" before being cut off by Kevin. The first time Eddy came close to swearing was "Sir Ed-a-Lot," and the third and last time was in "Don't Rain on My Ed."
 * Rolf says that his audition is a "The traditional dance of the hairless otter," Eddy tells him "NEXT! There's no budget for subtitles!" This is a gag (and a fourth wall break) referring to the fact no one knows what Rolf says in his native language, although his dance might not require any verbal activity.
 * The episode is a parody of (and was named after) Hands Across America.
 * The magic words Jimmy says during his magic act might be a parody of the fairy godmother's magic words in Walt Disney's adaptation of Cinderella.
 * 19th time The Kanker Sisters didn't appear.
 * When Jimmy plays the tune on his retainer, the sound heard is that of a Jew's harp, which is traditionally played by putting one end in your mouth and plucking the other end. This is how Jimmy's retainer works as an instrument.
 * When the magnet got attracted to the dumpster instead of attracting the money that was thrown to Kevin and Rolf, Edd assumes the batteries must have been put in backwards, but if the batteries were in backwards, then the magnet would not work in reverse. It just wouldn't work at all.
 * This is the first episode to have a Disney reference, the second would be "Tinker Ed."
 * When Rolf greets the camera Ed is operating, he says "Hello Victor!" This could probably mean he lets Victor into his home.
 * What should be noted is that Rolf doesn't ask if the Eds are stealing his soul with the camera unlike a later episode. Although, in that episode, he was angry about the Eds stealing his chickens when he said that.
 * Kevin - "Ha ha, losers!" That is what Kevin says in Ed, Edd n Eddy - The Mis-Edventures (except the GBA version) when the player loses all their energy.
 * Sarah is shown to be able to (poorly) play the banjo in this episode.
 * The bowling ball microphone reappears in "Boys Will Be Eds."
 * When Edd says "There's no buiness like it!", he is referencing the song "There's No Buiness Like Show Business" from the musical "Annie Get Your Gun."

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