Rolf

Rolf is an immigrant from a curious Eastern European culture with odd customs, and has a thick accent to match. He works his parents' small farm within the cul-de-sac, and leads a scouting group called the Urban Rangers, which includes Jimmy, Plank and Jonny. Rolf often refers to himself in third person, as well as being the son of a shepherd, in which he takes pride. He hardly minds the Eds unless they make a fool out of him or insult his culture, after which he is not afraid to use brute force. When his superhuman strength is unleashed, it rivals Ed's; however it should be considered that he is the second strongest character in the show since he is seen lifting a tree with difficulty while Ed can lift a house single handed. Rolf's strength depends on his mood rather than his biology.

Rolf confuses the rest of the kids to no end with his unusual customs and food-making. Rolf is one of the few characters who gets respect from all the kids, but his best friend is Kevin. He is also exceptionally hairy for his age, and although he has not revealed his age, he claims the hair is premature. He has a strong liking for meat and when Rolf agreed to a bet to not eat meat for a whole day, he became extremely malnourished and had severely lost his muscle tone almost instantly, not even having enough strength to open the cafeteria door or bite through celery. Nobody, except himself knows what country Rolf is from, but as we see every single thing that's linked to him, he is most likely from Eastern Europe. "Rolf's eyes fool the brain of Rolf!"

About Rolf*
Okay, let's talk about Rolf - he of the farmyard full of crazy critters and table full of fearsome foodstuffs. Rolf, it must be said, is pretty unique in that - with the possible exception of little Jonny 2x4 - he rarely claims allegiance to one single group of cul-de-sac kids, meaning that he's usually as friendly towards Ed, Edd n Eddy as he is towards those that normally regard them with antipathy.

Of course this isn't always the case, after all there is only so much any one person can take and even Rolf's patience has a limit over which the Eds occasionally thrust him. When Rolf does crack, if it's not because of being on the business end of an Eddy-fueled scam then it's probably because the Eds have either somehow offended his honor or else they've messed with his property.

On the whole though, unless Kevin has already got to him (in which case his attitude towards them is distinctly mocking) Rolf seems to find the Eds' company interesting if a little trying. He seems to see them as misguided sheep rather than the out n out dorks they appear to Kevin and true to his innate kindly nature, Rolf likes to take it upon himself to try and improve the Eds in any way he can. Because of this - unless he's still smarting from a recent scam - should they turn up at his house they can usually expect a warm welcome although with it they can expect to be regaled with long and convoluted tales of Rolf's extended family and its past adventures or else be invited to partake of quite frankly, some rather frightening meals!

Along with his open and friendly nature, perhaps one of Rolf's most endearing qualities is his never-ending naivety, for despite thinking of himself as being so very worldly wise, he often displays true innocence, especially when confronted with anything that challenges his superstitions or evokes memories of past experiences. It's this gentle gullibility - an unwillingness to challenge fate or upset the balance of nature - that sees him falling victim to so many of Eddy's scams. How does Eddy manage to catch Rolf out so many times? Simply by knowing what makes him tick and getting it to work against him, it's easy as Rolf does all the hard work for him. Mind you as the seasons progress Rolf does wise-up a little as he realises just what makes Eddy tick in return, just watch him give Eddy a run for his (paper) money in Season 4's 'Here's Mud in Your Ed.'

Things (meaning a willingness to work from dawn to dusk) are clearly expected of Rolf by his family and anxious to prove his worth and unwilling to disappoint them he always tries his hardest. It seems to be a tough life when you're the first born Son of a Shepherd but obviously someone has to do all the work and as Papa is apparently busy elsewhere, Mama is invariably busy frying weeds and both Nana and Nano are old and plagued by various strange maladies, it falls to Rolf to keep the things running smoothly. Quite obviously he's very handy to have around the place.

Rolf appears to be the oldest kid in the cul-de-sac although exactly just how old he is, is difficult to pin down because although he's quite happy playing football and messing around with the other kids. He also has a frequent habit of mentioning the long lost days of his youth so he obviously doesn't think of himself as a youngster any longer and perhaps as a direct result of his superior years, the other cul-de-sac kids only rarely question the wisdom that Rolf is so fond of sharing out. It has to be said he's a great source of knowledge (some of it quite eccentric) and advice on just about any subject under the sun, although it has to be agreed of his wisdom is of dubious value, but there again you never know and it's always good to have someone around who knows how to make shoes for chickens!

Although he occasionally gets in on a game or manages to join in with the other kids antics, on the whole Rolf it seems has little time for leisure. When he's not at school with the other kids he can usually be found toiling in his garden which in order to sustain the whole family, seems to function as a smallholding of sorts, complete with an assortment of animals, farm machinery and various sheds filled with either chickens, beets, potatoes, sausage-stuffing equipment and sometimes even Ed-Boys!

Although given to the occasional mutinous muttering, on the whole Rolf seems to submit to his endless chores and life of drudgery with cheerful resignation. First and foremost he's responsible for looking after the animals which he does with a characteristic mix of affection and somewhat authoritative 'hands on' treatment. A nice example comes in Season 4's 'Momma's Little Ed' - witness how he picks poor Wilfred up by plugging 2 fingers into his snout - ow! Meanwhile his ever-patient goat Victor is subjected to scrubbings, horn filing, shaving and even the indignity of being turned upside down and used to plow the ground. To add to Victor's indignities, although we're given to understand that he's a Billy goat, in Season 4's 'Robbin Ed' Rolf alludes to 'Victor's milk spouts' ... um ... okay ... moving on now...

In addition to all the animal work, Rolf also has a large role in the day to day production of various foodstuffs. Way back in Season 1 he can be seen working on the family's sausage-making machine and by Season 4 has worked his way up to boring holes into cheese (so now you all have no excuse for not knowing how the holes in your Emmental got there!) He also has a few less savory tasks to perform, one of which appears to be doing his grandparents laundry, or as Rolf himself puts it 'removing the foul from Nano's finery.' Like we said, it's a tough job all right.

Leading Rolf astray from his appointed tasks is something of a challenge to Eddy and always brings on an attack of guilt in Rolf. Although capable of working hard he's still a kid at heart and he's very tempted to play hooky from his chores. In Season 2's 'Stop, Look & Ed' he succumbs after watching the others playing in the wet cement and spends the afternoon on a deck lounger. Of course doing something like that means that repercussion is sure to follow and Rolf has himself hinted that if his chores are not done he'll be banished to the cupboard. Just for how long and by whom though, he doesn't say.

Obviously, growing up in a different land and being immersed in everyday modern life has meant a good bit of culture shock for Rolf and his family to contend. In addition to the cultural differences he has had to adapt to, he's also had to juggle with a new language and although this does still trip him up occasionally, on the whole he does very well for himself although he does retain the endearing habit of referring to himself in the third person. In addition to this and especially in times of stress he comes out with some very quirky, archaic and downright puzzling sayings, which have no doubt been inherited from his parents and grandparents and probably make no sense at all to anyone outside of the family.

Speaking of the family, as with every other kid in the show, Rolf's family both nuclear and extended is shrouded in the clouds of cartoon mystery although to be fair to him they get much more airplay than any other family in Peach Creek. This is because Rolf just can't seem to help himself from dragging them into the conversation at every opportunity. We get to hear about his father's chafed elbow, nasal wart and fermented spoils; we hear of Mama's prowess in the kitchen; we learn of a one-eyed great grandmother and the great Nano's struggle against the mighty sea cucumber and more than all of these put together we hear of Nana and Nano, whose illustrious pasts crop up time and time again along with details on their toenails, pantaloons, pre-chewed 7 course dinners and denture water … ack!! Oyyyy, too much info ... but so intriguing all the same. It's not exactly a 'cast of thousands' but it really does feel as if there's a real set of people lurking inside Rolf's house, each with a great and jaw-dropping life story to tell.

Thinking of Rolf's family leads us on to the question of heritage and roots and the question that has plagued many a fan since Season 1, namely where does Rolf come from? The clues we have are spartan to say the least, Rolf refers to his home village as being back in the Old Country and that's about as close as it gets. We can try and piece together the various snippets of information that Rolf's throws out from time to time, witness him in Season 2's 'Knock Knock Who's Ed' telling his captive audience how he had to 'carry the great Nano across the sea to this new land' where 'under cover of darkness we crossed the sea in canoes made of our leather shoes.' So wherever it is, it's definitely across the water.

Further clues pop up in 'Wish You Were Ed' where Eddy readily cashes in on Rolf's homesickness when he sees him pining for his old village. The resulting scam - the facade of an 'Olde Worlde' village is certainly good enough to fool Rolf who, when he finds the water fouled with infestations (i.e. bugs) and that he must barter for his fine fresh eels whilst balancing on a pole rather than just handing over the cash is quite convinced he has arrived back home again. The addition of Ed as the village idiot only reinforces his belief and he happily celebrates with a traditional song and dance in the shape of the wonderful 'That's my Horse!'

But we still don't know where home really is, although it's fun to speculate...

A family photograph worn in a locket about his neck reveals Rolf gambolling across a meadow with mountains in the background together with a turf-roofed cabin … so are we talking the Alps then? Or perhaps Scandinavia? But there again he's wearing Lederhosen! Ach, foiled again. And then is he's from there, where does the love of yogurt n liver burritos, the octopus, the candied beets and the stuffed pigs head - not to mention Mama's fish balls which are good for the digestive spout, fit in? Where do the offbeat traditions, the weird meat-festival, the sow of Christmas past, Yeshmiyek, the saga of the great sea cucumber et al all fall in the great puzzle? Where lie the origins of the village idiot and the nincompoop and all of Rolf's strange lore and superstitions?

We can guess and we can guess, working our way across the globe from Sweden to Austria and from India to Mexico and all places in between but at the end of the day the simple matter of the fact is that we don't know and really we don't need to know because keeping it an enigma keeps it fun and keeps us guessing and this is the way it was meant to be by Eds' creator Danny Antonucci.

Danny says, "I purposely made Rolf with a non-nationality ... leaving Rolf with no set nationality means he's able to adopt all sorts of quirks he couldn't get away with if we'd stuck a label on him."

And that is the way it should be Ed-Boys.

[*= All credit goes to Edtropolis.com]

Old Rolf
In the future Old Rolf seems to have become senile as he confuses Eddy for many other characters. He has grown a long white beard and has gotten a hunch-back. He seems to be unaware that his Tractor is for sale. He also got a eye patch for some reason.

Young Rolf
During the episode "No Speak Da Ed", Rolf is seen as a young boy. He has a bucktooth, wears overalls and a yellow shirt. He has shepherding responsibilities as a toddler. One of his sheep was attacked by a wolf man, and that memory stuck to him for the rest of his life.

Family

 * Mother
 * Father-A mighty Shepard known to tend to his sheep daily.
 * Nana-a seriously disfigured woman known to have a wooden leg and be mistaken as "that large hairy beast eating all the dip."
 * Nano- the centerpiece of Rolf's weird talk I.E. "you must be poking my eggplant, that would give to time to watch the curd rise from the cheese of my grandfathers back"
 * One-Eyed Great Nana= a deceased relative that Rolf introduces as "that beast looks like my one eyed great nana, she was such a sweet woman, always bumping into things."
 * Distant Cousins
 * Great Nano
 * Bastian
 * Yonick

Livestock

 * 3 Pigs (one named Wilfred)
 * 4 Goats one of which is named Victor
 * 1 Cow (Beatrice)
 * Several Hens (one named Gertrude another Laggard and the other Bridget)
 * About 2 dozen Sheep (one called Fluffy)
 * Many Rabbits (number is too high to be fully calculated)
 * 1 Clam named Bobo
 * 1 Rooster
 * Several Chicks (Rooster Chicks and Hen Chicks)

Produce and animal products

 * Sugar beets
 * Eggplants
 * Radishes
 * Cucumbers
 * Carrots
 * Turnips
 * Potatoes
 * Yams
 * Meat + Wiener
 * Milk
 * Eggs
 * Cheese
 * Octopus
 * Squid
 * Parsley
 * Fish
 * Plums
 * Stuffed pig's head

Weird Things
It's known in his home land that there are a lot of hero stories, fights, famous people, and unbelievable stuff that have been in his childhood. For example, when he was little, a man in a wolf costume tried to steal and eat his sheep. He has also witnessed a giant Swedish meatball stalking Wilfred in the dead of night. Another strange tale is the story of how his Great Nano crossed the ocean in a canoe made from the soles of his shoes while fighting a giant sea cucumber in an attempt to immigrate to America. Because the Great Nano was lost at sea in this battle Rolf would dress in a tight-fitting sea cucumber suit and prepare a box of sea cucumber balls for the neighbors to feast, but was offended by Eddy when he threw one of these balls once. Also, around the holidays, Rolf's family worships a woman named Yeshmiyek who lives in the center of the earth preparing the holiday feast for good males and females. Rolf also celebrates the guardian pigeon. Another thing Rolf does is dueling, he would dig a hole and make a bridge of a tree and then he would put on war-like suit with a ox skull on it and battle his enemy with dead stiff fish.

Rolf and the Phone
In Rolf's family it has been known that they have been given a telephone known as the Curse Phone or the Telephone of Doom. In each generation, Rolf's family is cursed for no exact reason. When the phone was given to Rolf he decided to bury it so no one could be threatened by the curse again. It was later stolen by Eddy who (after finding out the curse) gave it to Jonny but even when Jonny has it Eddy is still effected by the curse (even if Plank is the one who is answering the phone) quite possibly showing it only effect's the first person to answer it.

Rolf/Wolf Rivalry
The Rolf/Wolf Rivalry is a rivalry revealed in "No Speak Da Ed". When Rolf was a little boy in his old country, a man with a wolf mask (that could quite possibly be a werewolf) would steal Rolf's father's flock of sheep. Rolf finally fought back, despite his fears, in order to save a sheep (possibly his favorite in the flock).

Quotes
Jimmy (Cupid): "Ooops, we missed one Cupid Sarah." Rolf: [jumps up on a table] "Rolf awaits your response!" [the cupids fire arrows, Rolf blocks them with the mop and then bangs it into the table and the arrows falls off] "You tickle Rolf's radish."  "Ed, Edd n Eddy's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo" 
 * Rolf: "Be gone! Cursed underlings of Valhalla!"

Trivia

 * Rolf also owns an Accordion.
 * Like Ed, Rolf has a uni-brow, but it is thinner and therefore less noticeable than Ed's.
 * Rolf likes Kevin but fears Eddy's Older Brother, because he fears Eddy's Bro will steal his chickens.
 * If you notice Rolf has a rival who is a wolf. Rolf is only one letter away from being Wolf.
 * Like Marie, Rolf's hair color is blue, but is unknown how it's blue, Rolf probably has never heard of hair dye.
 * In the episode Look Into My Eds, Rolf flies for the first and only time. Tough he was hypnotized and believed that he was a big hairy bat.
 * Rolf also addresses himself as "a son of a shepard"
 * Most Mad, Dangerous, or Crazyest times: Rolf is at his most dangerous when someone harms his livestock, when someone has besmerched his family (the throwing of the Fishball) or when he does not eat any meat (seen in All Eds Are Off).